I'm a bit of a shy guy, so I'm not the best at keeping the conversation going, but I've been on enough dates now that I'm seeing a pattern. All the girls I've dated are boring too. I mean I do my best to get the conversation flowing, but they don't help out at all. The never elaborate on things, their isn't hardly anything they're passionate about it's ridiculous. I'm still dying to go on a date with a girl who's full of life and will talk my ear off the whole time. I haven't found one yet. Most of my dates are online, so maybe that's why. They probably are shy too.
Personally I can be extremely talkative but I have to find a guy I love talking to to do that, or if I find us to have chemistry and compatibility my mouth will just go on about any subject (usually deep ones). The issue is that a lot of guys seem to like small talk and get weirded out by discussions or deep talk so I find myself to struggle at times, especially on dates I can come across as too open for many. If I don't see myself to have any chemistry with you friends or relationship wise my mouth often goes shut for the most part.
Asking a girl why she isn't talking a lot or why she's silent is one of the worst things you can do though, even moreso if you are the shy type yourself. To get her to open up more you have to be open as well, and you have to make them feel comfortable, and look interested every time she speaks so she feels like opening up more because she knows you'll listen.
There have been cases where I've been talking to a guy and he talked and talked and then asked me why I'm so silent, so eventually I told him this really interesting crazy story that happened in my life but when I spoke he just seemed so disinterested that I didn't even feel like talking to him anymore.
It can be hard if you are shy and are trying to find someone. I'm shy too and I feel like I never have anything to talk about, though I do try! I think part of the problem is if you view yourself as boring, you are already going to be more self-conscious about sharing details about your life because you won't think she will find them interesting.
in my opinion you need to start getting out and doing more things. Even if you only do 1 new thing a month, it will help give you something to talk about on your dates.
Also, don't put pressure on the lady to keep the conversation going. Do some research and find out ways to be a better conversationalist. And cut people some slack, perhaps they are nervous too. It can be hard to keep a conversation going when you are nervous and the other person is also shy. Long silences are normal and happen. Don't make it more awkward by dwelling so much on them. Perhaps you are cutting people out who are great choices for you, all because they weren't a charismatic conversationalist.
I find a lot of guys I was dating weren't asking me questions, so start there. People typically find it easier to talk about themselves. Find out what hobbies they like, what types of music they like, ask if they have been to any concerts lately, or seen any recent movies. Ask them if they have any quirks. Those are all great ways to get the conversation going.
Also, try to have dates where you are not just sitting across the table from one another. That puts so much pressure on you and the other person to keep the conversation going. Go on dates where you are doing an activity, like Mini put, bowling, even an art class together. This will also help conversation to flow more naturally.
If you are a bit of a shy guy but you do your best to get the conversation going then I can only assume that she is not doing her part to keep the conversation going?
It sounds like you are meeting women that won't even do that little part?
Maybe you should rethink who you are asking out. Maybe go for the more adventures, extraverted females. You may find you are better fit with them than with females more like you.
I think the phrase opposite attract only really works in the case of introverts and extraverts. I think this is when the yin-yang thing works for relationships. The rest of the stuff, I think relationships should be pretty similar: outlooks, dispositions, skepticism, religion, etc.
But for extraverts and introverts, I think relationships are better suited if they are opposite in this matter. That is my advice.
Women do worry that we talk too much sometimes. My boyfriend always says that I "never stop talking" Half the time he's not even listening though, so I can just carry on, but I am aware of it around other people.
Maybe they're already worried that they're boring you so they keep it as brief as they can? Not necessarily you, but shy guys can be quite hard work. If she's not sure of your reaction to how she is with you, she'll stop.
I've only went on dates with 3 guys. They were just one of dates with each of them. Its the last time I ever use online dating. The first one bored me to death because all he could do was bang on about politics, the second one wasn't over his ex and the third one wasn't much of a conversationalist and kept trying to grope me and kiss me at the cinema. I love to talk but I hate it when I'm always the one putting all of the effort in. I'm the kind that will just come away with some random shit just to try keeping the conversation going. Lol. So you can see why I don't really put myself out there for dating anymore. Shy can be very sweet and endearing but after a while it gets boring.
Maybe try someone outside of your routin girls. Or try something high energy and somethi, g that would get them active and comfortable with you really fast. Don't choice places like restaurants and bars, or even coffee shops. If you want to take her to dinner, try a cooking class, or take her to do something she has never tried before. Think outside the box, be creative, I am sure they will open up to you.
Maybe you just failed to get in to her. That's it. Try to get to know more about the things she wants. And try to engage on that topic. Establish trust between the 2 of you even if its on-line thing. Women are not shy at all if they are comfortable and trust the person they are talking to. And don't rush for a meet-up, let her open up more. I'm sure when you’re both comfortable and trust each other, the better the dating would be.