The guy that i am dating right now is pissed at me because he thinks that i am lying to him. He thinks that i keep standing him up and canceling our dates because i do not want to be with him and that is not the case. My life is complicated and I told him that but he does not understand. We have been able to go on a few dates but the dates after that i had to cancel because I have had many family emergencies (my grandpa is very sick) and i put my grandpa before anyone. My boyfriend is very caring and understanding but its gotten to the point where he does not believe me anymore when i tell him we are going to hang out and he is like whatever. He thinks that the reasons i am cancelling are excuses and that i do not want to hang out with him but I do more than anything. I lost my best friend trying to hang out with him and now she will not even talk to me. He is upset with me right now because i cancelled the other day. I haven't even talked to him yet because i dont know what to say and I do not want to make anything worse. He told me that he does not think it is going to work between us anymore if we can't hang out and that I am full of shit. I dont need this stress right now in my life and I really dont want to lose him at all because i love him so much but it is at the point where i am just like "fuck everything" im trying to make things work between us but something keeps getting in the way. Advice? I dont want to lose him.
Most Helpful Guy
So here's what's going on. He's dated/talked to women who have strung him along or otherwise treated him like shit. Most of us guys have. I'm sure most of you ladies have too.
So he's got like this little radar going. And whenever he gets signals that he may be getting fucked with, that little radar starts pinging. And he's going to listen to that little radar. Because it's his defense mechanism for avoiding women who just want to use him.
So you have to figure out how to get past that radar. And the only way you can do that is by confronting him wholly and completely honestly. You're dealing with this shit in your life right? Make him a part of it. Take him to meet your grandfather (if possible). If you have to cancel on him for some reason, give the reason, then invite him to come with you, because you need emotional support (bonus points here: guys love giving emotional support). Bring him into that part of your life, so he *really* understands, and knows for an absolute fact that you're not fucking with him.
Because there are some women out there who will really fuck with a guy like that, in a really sociopathic way, and he's on high alert right now that you could be doing it to him.1
Most Helpful Girl
You had your reasons for cancelling those dates. If he doesn't understand those reasons, you're better off. Don't waste your time with someone who simply refuses to understand you. He already gave up on you, so it's very hard to convince him. I would spend my energy on something else.0