Let's be real here, I've only ever had 1 girlfriend in my life and that was long distance. Would this be a red flag for you girls considering my age?

Yes I do have a bit of social anxiety. I try to hide it as much as possible so as not to make people uncomfortable around me but people can see through it.

knowing this and knowing that I only had one girlfriend in my life considering my age. Red flag?

  • Yes this is a red flag
    16% (8)27% (8)20% (16)Vote
  • No it's not
    46% (23)27% (8)39% (31)Vote
  • It depends
    38% (19)46% (14)41% (33)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Not at all. Many people haven't had relationships due to circumstances that wouldn't allow them to, some just haven't really wanted relationships in their 20s (or haven't thought about having anything serious) like me : ) until like later. Some just haven't found someone who suits them or is compatible enough.
    Really, I don't judge at all. Everyone has their reasons. However I do know a lot of women are not as open minded as I am, but why would you wanna go for a woman who cares so much about that anyway? Just means she isn't for you if you can't be yourself with them.

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What Girls Said 35

  • It depends on whether or not it'd be a red flag for you.
    Like... if you make it a big conversation topic from the get-go, telling me why you've been single for so long and whatnot, it might become a bit of an issue for me as well. I'd be fine with 'just one' girlfriend otherwise. If you'd act like the relatively low number were something that was inherently bad, then that's more likely what would happen. (meaning that your actions, guided by that belief, would turn your belief into a reality. 'Self fulfilling prophecy', as I'm sure I make little to no sense after a night of not much sleep.)

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  • It depends on the woman.

    Some women might be totally accepting of your reasoning, some women would view such severe social anxiety as something that could potentially prohibit the relationship. It's going to be individually dependent on the person.

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  • For me, it'd be less about only having one girlfriend at your age and more about your age itself, seeing as there's a 13 year age gap :P I think that most women would do their best to understand and accept it, especially considering your anxiety.

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  • I don't think one girlfriend is bad at all. And if you find the right girl she could help you overcome it or deal with it better maybe.

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  • It's cute. Just don't be a crazy person and you're good bro. I'd rather be with someone with very little history with other women as possible than a person who is a man whore.

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  • one girlfriend isn't a red flag to me. the social anxiety needs to be addressed though. it's tough :/

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    • 3mo

      Why?

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    • 3mo

      Ehhhhh I feel like I'm screwed either way

    • 3mo

      you're doing something right, you have had a girlfriend :)

  • Having only one girlfriend is not a red flag.. social anxiety isn't a red flag either if you are interested in someone who has the same problem. you two can hide from the world together 😊

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  • I don't see it being a red flag. You're being cautious and playing it safe when it comes to girls so it's not an issue.

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  • Depending how hot you are.

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  • It wouldn't be for me, but I do worry that guys would feel the same way about me. I've never had a relationship at all and I'll be 30 in a week.

    It really depends on the girl. Some will see it that way, but others won't. I would wonder why a guy has a bunch of different relationships that didn't last, over one who has only had one. I think a lot of girls would be okay about it, especially once they know about the social anxiety.

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  • I think it might have some baring on your comfort-ability (is that a word XD) or ease with women, but I wouldn't automatically think "no, no, won't date"

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  • I think women would want to know the reasons why. If you shared the fact that you have social anxiety, I think most women would understand and be okay with it. I have social anxiety myself, I think, so I have no room to judge. :P

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  • Have you been trying and failing, or did you just decide you didn't want to date?

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  • The page is no longer showing my comments.

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    • 3mo

      Huh?

    • 3mo

      I no longer see my previous comments in the scroll. Is this a new question? It is so similar to the other perhaps I'm mistaken. Is this a new question you invited me to or a previous one?

    • 3mo

      Yes it's a new one

  • It might be considered one, but just don't lead off with that. Wait to bring it up after the first couple dates.

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  • no its not

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  • No red flags here, your past doesn't distinguish your future. Don't listen to society's standards. I have no problem with dating someone who's never had a girlfriend or someone who's dated only long distance. You're not a bug.

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  • I think social anxiety is your problem, not lack of gfs

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  • The dude in dating now has never had a girl friend ever. And that's not a red flag. We just going with the flow

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  • Nope, Just means you lack any good girls where you live.

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  • Nope, only one girlfriend ever is not a problem.

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  • Your age itself can be a red flag since I prefer someone closer to my age XD

    But no. I wouldn't have much of a problem with that.

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  • It is if you make it one. Don't obsess over it. Explain the and then leave it at that.

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  • It would, yes

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  • Nah, I don't think so :)

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  • yes toto

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    • 3mo

      Why?

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    • 3mo

      Yeah...

    • 3mo

      "I am social, the guy won t adapt with me."
      I don't think that this is true, I explained it to you some time ago when talking about myself if you still remember. Being together with someone you trust a lot, someone who makes you comfortable, someone who motivates you and pushes you forward in life changes A LOT.

      I'm not saying it always works out, but it's not as difficult as you might think. I know you pretty well by now and I also know exactly what is holding my social life back. You'd be surprised how different I can be if we were together :P

      But I can of course also see why you would rather take someone where you know that you are compatible and not start experiments like this

  • no, the facts you've stated alone wouldn't be a red flag

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  • It is not a red flag for me :)

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  • It kinda is

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  • Red flag? No!

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What Guys Said 9

  • Hmm, it is a red flag. But if you don't tell them about it unless the bring it up, they might just like you enough to not care, presuming your interaction with them is otherwise normal/pleasant. Lying to them if they ask about ex's is not a good idea.

    If your opening line is "I have social anxiety and only 1 online girlfriend" they will run fast in the opposite direction.

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  • Yeah it would be a red flag to most women. Can rationalize it however you like but the negative notion surrounding being single for long will be in the back of their head the whole time. The negative.. something is wrong with you for not being able to attract women for that long. Need to tackle that social anxiety head on.

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  • here's the real deal brotha

    No girl needs to know that until she actually gets to know you. If every girl told the guy she met that she just had sex the day before today and with 10 more guys before that and 1 dude at a beach resort , most would be 'turned off'

    But thats not their business nor is you not having a girlfriend other than long distance

    Either way at your age bracket it doesn't matter really. There is a lot of girls in the same position

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    • 3mo

      Exactly, you don't volunteer that kinda info. A month ago, I had a date with a girl who volunteered way too much information that I didn't need to hear.

      Like she was asking about my number of partners, last time i had sex, etc and then she's like i fucked my ex 2 days ago, my partner count is really high, how her and her ex are sex addicts, how i like girls to go down on me, if id finger her while eating her out, and showing nudes. None of which I asked for.

    • 3mo

      Bottom line is, i don't slut shame but that's just shit you don't talk about on a first date. I don't care if you're a guy/girl. You should impress someone with your personality, not your sex life/lack of.

  • What's age got to do with it these days? A lot of guys simply skip relationships altogether (they are a lot of work) their entire lives and work on themselves/their careers. I pretty much quit relationships after discovering Craigslist and then Backpage (and whatever replaces it when BP is gone) years ago. If I only knew how unnecessary relationships are when I was in my 20's and half a dozen gf's ago.

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  • There's no age limit on love and compassion, only people that will oppose against

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  • Are you socially awkward around just girls or everyone?

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    • 3mo

      Everyone

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    • 3mo

      Well I'm not shy, I talk to people just fine, but I can come across as awkward or anxious

    • 3mo

      So you don't pick up on social cues and what's appropriate and what's not. That's a learned skill some pi k up quicker than others. you should still go see if you can get help. Being anxious is an anxiety issue. At 33 you shouldn't have that.

  • Some might care, but those are the ones you don't want anyways. I just wouldn't volunteer that info or put it out there. Wording is key though when you get asked about it. While having social anxiety is tough, I've had it, I wouldn't mention it. That sounds negative and lacking confidence.

    I haven't even had an official relationship/gf yet and there's been ones who were obsessed with me or super clingy to the point they'd get mad at me if i had plans and offered to reschedule. I do want a relationship, but I won't put up with that.

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  • It depends

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  • Don't make it a red flag
    Accept it happened and get on with your life

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