So apparently I'm horrible at love. Anyone got some good advice on handling this guy?

Let me start off by saying that I'm a college student. There is no way I should feel this confused and torn, but apparently that's just part of being human.

I met this guy over the summer and he's incredibly sweet and funny. Basically, he's amazing and I like him so much. You see, he even has this face, and I want to kiss it. Unfortunately I'm still painfully awkward when it comes to handling guys. This situation has now evolved into something I'm even worse at handling.

We were at a party a while ago and I mentioned to one of my friends there that I liked him. Of course this was a poor decision since we were both drunk, but I did it anyway. As you can probably imagine, she ended up telling him that I liked him. And as if that wasn't enough, she asked him if he was okay with that to which he apparently replied "yes". She tried to sell it to me like that meant he liked me too, but I understand that "liking someone back" and "being okay with someone liking you" are two entirely different things.

Well long story short, I finally found the balls to ask him if we were still okay, since I know it isn't very fun to find out like that and he's still someone I want to be friends with. Obviously this was the wrong question to ask, since it didn't really reveal whether or not he had any feelings for me back.

Logic would typically lead to the conclusion that he would just flat out tell me if he liked me back or not, however this really isn't a logical situation and I know he isn't used to having girls like him (or at least knowing that girls like him). I really don't think he would know what to say or even how to respond regardless of whether or not he likes me back.

Basically, I've fucked up. Any suggestions on how I can un-fuck up? Literally anything would probably be useful at this point.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • First, just for future reference, try to avoid revealing your feelings to your meddling friends or at least tell them not to interfere if you do.

    Don't lie about whether you like a guy you're interested in but just tell them it's none of their business. All they tend to do, especially when you can't comfortably own up to the feeling in front of the guy, is elevate the relationship between you to a new level of awkward while attempting to play matchmaker in a very obnoxious way.

    For your case, my suggestion is just casually talk to him but not about your feelings and about the previous incident so much. Since your feelings are out there it's not useful to be all awkward about it now or getting serious with him about it.

    Make it fun, be easy-going, and you might even casually ask him to hang out some time. I know it's kind of rare for girls to ask a guy out but you're at this stage now where he already knows you like him and it sort of naturally follows to seek a follow-up where you invite him to hang out in a very friendly and easy way (that'll make the rejection less awkward if he does reject your offer).

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    • 3mo

      Basically diffuse the awkwardness by taking a very innocent and easy-going and confident attitude about it (confident like you don't really care). That'll make it easy to kind of undo some of the damage that made things awkward between you two. And casually asking him to hang out just makes a lot of sense after that.

    • 3mo

      You know dood, you seem to cover everything most of the time, so I don't even comment on the question. Good shit dood

    • 3mo

      @Ephemera1 Thanks very much -- cheers!

Most Helpful Girl

  • Contact Joe but this Time... Go Slow and just let it all Flow.
    Nursing and Nurturing First, a Nice Repore and Friendship is the Trick of the Trade. Jumping Feet First into Murky waters can Be the Death of You and any Potential Relationship, when the Other person on the other end could Grow these Cold Duck Feet and Never want to Come out of the Waves again.
    Make light of everything, hun, and let his Actions speak Volumes and Louder than Words right now in Hopefully giving you a Second Chance.
    In Finding Love, there is Always a Little Lesson in Life that one Learns, and this is to Try and Learn by your Mistakes as you go Along with the Flow.
    Good luck. xx

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What Guys Said 7

  • There is the blunt way to do things, no charm, no romanticism, no nothing:

    "Hi *guy's name*, do you have a minute so we can talk? Ok, you see, I'm sorry about what happened that day at the party, we had a little to much to drink, but the point is that it wasn't supposed to be like that, and you weren't supposed to know it that way.. but anyway, things aren't perfect, and now you know. Then I asked you if you were Ok with that, which was obviously the wrong question, what I wanted to know was both how feel towards the situation, and now that you know, is there something to do about it, or just continue as we always did?

    (this can be over text, if you simply feel too nervous to approach him)
    If you don't like the tone of cheer trueness, you can play the dating game, and try to ask him out, or at least hint it to him.

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  • Sounds like you are over-analyzing the hell out of this simple thing. Just continue on, and if he likes you back, he'll let you know. If not, you won't be any worse off than you are now.

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  • You should've told him you wanted to know him better. It could've helped. But I dont know what you should do. Chasing isn't gonna do any good until he figures how he feels and decides how to act from now on. For now, wait. Next time you talk, see if you can show him you wanna know him. It might change your image in his mind, but its unpredictable.

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  • Just hang out and evaluate his behavior, no irreversible fuck up here yet. Everyone involved is awkward af

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  • Why didn't you ask him out?

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    • 3mo

      Oh my god I wish I knew. I think part of me was really hoping that he would just ask me out if he liked me back, but I realized literally right after I asked him if we were cool just how shy he is and how my question kind of made it sound like I didn't want him to ask me

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    • 3mo

      It wouldn't, but part of me is worried that he may honestly just not know what to do. And if I were to jump on the chance to ask him out, I feel like that may confuse him more.

    • 3mo

      I'd ask him out.

  • If you like him and you feel torn about him not knowing it then tell him. Get it off your chest. I'd hate being in limbo like that.

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  • I think maybe he has the same situation you are having and just doesn't know what to say. It still can go either way tbh

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What Girls Said 3

  • Ya you sound like me and I'd assume he's not interested but just to be sure ask him straight up... he could be already taken or something like why else not make a move

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  • I actually agre with you, if he really liked you he probably would have said so. I'm sorry if that's not what you wanted to hear but, maybe he doesn't know his feelings for you. I was confessed to before and honestly, I needed some time to figure my feelings out.

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    • 3mo

      Nah, it's fine. I mean I said it myself. And honestly that's why I'm really wanting to wait for a bit before pursuing him more. I don't want him to feel forced into a decision. I want him to have time to figure stuff out on his own.

  • be confident girl. You can get him. snatch him up before he becomes taken. I made a mistake with a boy like that he got super mad so make him your boo don't wait or shy away

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