Would guys date me if they know this?

If they know that i have a daughter and she's 9 years old. I had her when i was 15 and it wasn't that easy as a teen mom. I finished college and i have a good job now, nice house, and many friends. I was too busy the past couple years and i didn't date someone but i think i'm ready to do that now. But would guys date me especially if i told them my story as a teen mom?

  • I'd date you
    62% (13)42% (16)49% (29)Vote
  • No thank you
    38% (8)58% (22)51% (30)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think the real question is, should you tell them. The answer is yes. Don't start a relationship with deception or lies. It's the same thing as saying I want it to fail. Many men don't mind a child (I know because I married two women with kids). I've also dated some others with a child. I also understood the the child will always come before me and that is how it should be. Many men can't handle this even if they say they don't care. When it happens, they do. You will have men that don't because they only want their kids, not someone elses. You are in a situation where you have to see whats out there and don't take it personally if a guy has no interest. My first wife had our daughter when she was 16 years. I met her when she was 23 and her child was a 7 yr old. It's a package deal and if the guy can't love the child too, you are in trouble. As far as I'm concerned, the fact that you had your baby so young and even with all the turmoil it created in your life, you finished high school and wen't on to graduate from college. You have a good caerer. If I was you, I'd trust my judgement and deal with the disapointment you may have. I'm very confident that the rejection you may get will not stop you from finding your soul mate. He's out there, go for it.

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    • 3mo

      Thank you so much this is really sweet.

    • 3mo

      You are quite welcome. I'm glad if I was of some help. My very best to you!

Most Helpful Girl

  • I think that story shows how strong you are and despite the past, you clearly have your life together now. If you having a 9 year old daughter is a deal breaker for any guy, then that guy is not worth your time. The right guy won't see your daughter as a problem.

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    • 3mo

      Thank you so much. I really hope that they can see it like that

What Guys Said 24

  • Most guys wouldn't, to be honest- they'd run as soon as they found out. But I'm not too judgmental; I'd be taken aback a bit, sure, but not to anywhere near the extent that I'd refuse to date you. So long as the past's in the past, then I'd be willing to let that chapter of your life lie. And I'm also quite a paternal person, so if the dad isn't too involved, I'd be willing to step up and give it my best shot. But there'd be a few other factors to consider as well- for instance, knowing that I'd like to have a kid or two of my own, would you be willing to date me? How would your nine year old daughter feel about me, about us, and about the prospect of some day having younger siblings? I'd date you, sure. But it'd be a big challenge to try and work everything out, that's for sure.

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    • 3mo

      You gave me hope that i will find a guy who thinks that way

  • You being an ex teen mom wouldn't the problem.
    A daughter entering her difficult years before she accepts your new guy fully, AND the daughters dad + his mom would be BIG problems.

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    • 3mo

      If they care in the first place

    • 3mo

      The guy's mom probably will care and the daughter will pay ot her dad and granny against the new stepfather. I do NOT say it's impossible to live that in harmony but I'm afraid it might become a guerilla war.

    • 3mo

      EDIT:
      *will play out her dad and granny___

  • I don't think you have to tell them the story to date them. They need to know about your daughter and when they look at you and you tell them she's 9, they'll figure it out.

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  • That depends on the current circumstances, teen moms are not a good thing that's a turn off but if you have learned from it and have not behaved in any impulsive way recently (within many years) then they may give you a shot.

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    • 3mo

      i guess i'm different and more confident and strong than before. I'm more mature and still have goals and dreams too and being a mother didn't affect my life in a bad way.

    • 3mo

      Well the reason why being a teen mom is viewed as bad is because it suggests you are impulsive (which most teenagers are) and it also means more drama due to not only the child who may or may not accept you but also in the interactions of the child (my friend is having these issues himself dealing with his girlfriends kids). But again it was when you where a teenager so the behavior part of it may not be an issue if you haven't had issues since i. e. only one child no multiple children by multiple fathers etc.

  • well i wouldn't tell them all this shit up front.. your past is just that, YOURS. You don't have to hand someone your history up front. let them get to know you first.

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  • i would, i mean since you have managed to raise a child who is of 9 years now you should be pretty mature by now. so yes i will date you.

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  • Look.. You are obviously young... But the answer to your Question is that. Some guys won't like the idea of dating someone with a baby and some won't mind. .

    So keep looking for that one person who will love you and accept you... :-)

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    • 3mo

      Thank you :)

    • 3mo

      Welcome.. By the way if I was ready to take care of your child I would 100 % go for you... :-)

  • Would girls date me if they found out i had a kid? Fuck no. So my answer is no but i wish you the best.

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    • 3mo

      For me i would date a guy with a kid it's not a problem for me.

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    • 3mo

      It's ok i understand :)

    • 3mo

      Wait... ah ok so your like 25 now? Well if you were the nice/caring type and not your typical chavy/ mcdonalds family meal every Sunday teen mom i would date you.

  • No thank you, not interested in a single parent.

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  • Yeah possibly

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  • Lol nope

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    • 3mo

      Why?

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    • 3mo

      I mean that's alright sugar lol but your mind would kinda subconsciously think about that and you'd be more "family oriented" so

    • 3mo

      I understand :)

  • men older than 25
    younger than that no

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    • 3mo

      I don't think I'd date young boys anyway. Especially if he still a college student or something.

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    • 3mo

      You are right

    • 3mo

      ofc im right cats always are :p

  • Not into teen moms. It just shows what type of person you are, and I'm not attracted to them.

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    • 3mo

      That was years ago

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    • 3mo

      Well, I'm not into older women for dating, maybe 1-2 years older, but not more. But that's not the point of this :/

    • 3mo

      It's ok i understand

  • Sorry but no.

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  • Having kids is a deal breaker for me, sorry. Unless they are my age but have a hot 16+yo daughter that's also interested, though that seldom happens.

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  • I'd jus fuck tbh

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    • 3mo

      Then you will need young fun girls because a mature woman isn't what you're looking for.

  • It depends on how I get on with your daughter, what happened with her biological father and if you are and overprotective mother or not.

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  • No thank you

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  • I personally wouldn't. But now a days who doesn't have a kid when they past 20 yearsold. Hell, i have a 4 yearold.

    The reason why i wouldn't is because you have something that tops what would be "Us". And possible drama that might come up from being with a woman with a kid.

    I wouldn't hold it against a girl if she wouldn't want to be with me because of my 4 yearold.

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    • 3mo

      Just out of curiosity, how is it being pregnant at 15? I think I've only seen a pregnant 15 yearold like 3 times in my life.

  • I was dead against dating a Single Mother because I am not sure if I want children and I am not paternal. I am very introverted and I find dealing with my 5 year old nephew exhausting. I love him to bits but he's hard to handle, he's full of life and energy and I think to myself could I play happy families with a woman who has a child/children with someone else? I'm not sure, I don't think it's fair on the child/children either if I was to "give it a shot and then leave when it doesn't work out". Plus there's always the father that may or may not be involved and I'd feel like a spare part, a third wheel in that dynamic. I wouldn't hold what a teenager did many years ago. It's happened now and something good has come of it, but being honest I am not sure, so I won't selection an option here. I will never say never...

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  • Sorry but no

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    • 3mo

      I understand

    • 3mo

      It's that most women who have children from previous relationships expect a guy to step in a fulfill a father role to the child and some like myself aren't in a position or ready for a child yet. Because I currently am laying the groundwork for a future family to have a loving wife and to provide for my son and daughter. I'm putting myself through school with all these hopes and dreams in mind

    • 3mo

      You don't have to be a father for someone if you don't want to and this isn't what I'm looking for in a guy. But i can understand where you are coming from :)

  • A significant number of guys will not date you because of this. Hiding it till later won't help. Unfortunately, guys looking to just hook up won't care, so you'll be losing more 'quality' guys than just random guys. And yes, guys who have less options are less likely to mind.

    I think it will -sort of- actually get easier as you get older (unless you date older now), because the other group of guys who won't mind you have a daughter, is guys who are divorced. For older divorced guys, a pretty single mother who is responsible and much more mature than a childless young woman is sort of ideal.

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  • I would date you, just be honest with them on the first date

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    • 3mo

      She would have to put out on that first date or there wouldn't be a second.

  • i would date you.
    we both are the same.

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    • 3mo

      Really? You have a kid too?

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    • 3mo

      Actually if you didn't date someone it's their loss and it's not the end of the world. We still can live and enjoy our lives even as single parents

    • 3mo

      do u wanna talk in privet better.
      im not feeling comfortable sharing this with all the Gagers

What Girls Said 9

  • It takes Someone Special to Take on someone else' Baggage, here, dear. My own sister was very 'Special' when she had Married a Man with 3 kids, and together, they made it Work as a Team.
    It isn't for all guys. It's a very Sticky Situation. Some of Them may Run when they Find out. However, if he truly Likes you from the Start, from his own Heart... Unconditionally, he will Stick around and Make it work as Someone Special who Knows he is in This for the Long Haul and All.
    Good luck. xx

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    • 3mo

      Thank you :)

    • 3mo

      You are so welcome and thank you for the Like, hun. xxoo

  • Just be upfront about it. I had a child young too. In my experience there are a lot of guys who will be jerks about it. It just means that they are not for you. There are good guys out there who will accept that you are a package deal. If a guy is to pursue anything serious with you then he will have to understand that.

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  • That's awesome you were able to accomplish college and getting a good job with a child. I'll date you!

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    • 3mo

      Thank you so much :)

  • I'm proud to see a teen mom continue her and life and beat the odds. So if a guy doesn't want to date you because of that then forget him. You'll find someone who'll appreciate your journey, appreciate you, and your child.

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  • I'd say you're still date-able

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  • Well she's older, she's not screaming and crying anymore so you got that going for you

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  • I'm a bisexual woman so my opinion might not be helpful but I'd date you. I'd only care about if I liked you and if your daughter liked me.

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    • 3mo

      That would be awesome :)

  • If I was guy then no I wouldn't cause I hate kids. I'm 100% sure that some guy out there would love to date you and wouldn't mind the fact that you were a teen mom.

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    • 3mo

      Just because you hate kids?

    • 3mo

      Yea pretty much. I honestly really don't like kids. I can't stand being around them for more than 10 minutes. I don't even like being around most of the people my own age.

  • They looking to freeload. They see that you're living well off imagine honey if you had a kid and a low wage job living in a run down apartment they wouldn't want nothing to do with you.

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