If they know that i have a daughter and she's 9 years old. I had her when i was 15 and it wasn't that easy as a teen mom. I finished college and i have a good job now, nice house, and many friends. I was too busy the past couple years and i didn't date someone but i think i'm ready to do that now. But would guys date me especially if i told them my story as a teen mom?
I think the real question is, should you tell them. The answer is yes. Don't start a relationship with deception or lies. It's the same thing as saying I want it to fail. Many men don't mind a child (I know because I married two women with kids). I've also dated some others with a child. I also understood the the child will always come before me and that is how it should be. Many men can't handle this even if they say they don't care. When it happens, they do. You will have men that don't because they only want their kids, not someone elses. You are in a situation where you have to see whats out there and don't take it personally if a guy has no interest. My first wife had our daughter when she was 16 years. I met her when she was 23 and her child was a 7 yr old. It's a package deal and if the guy can't love the child too, you are in trouble. As far as I'm concerned, the fact that you had your baby so young and even with all the turmoil it created in your life, you finished high school and wen't on to graduate from college. You have a good caerer. If I was you, I'd trust my judgement and deal with the disapointment you may have. I'm very confident that the rejection you may get will not stop you from finding your soul mate. He's out there, go for it.
I think that story shows how strong you are and despite the past, you clearly have your life together now. If you having a 9 year old daughter is a deal breaker for any guy, then that guy is not worth your time. The right guy won't see your daughter as a problem.
Most guys wouldn't, to be honest- they'd run as soon as they found out. But I'm not too judgmental; I'd be taken aback a bit, sure, but not to anywhere near the extent that I'd refuse to date you. So long as the past's in the past, then I'd be willing to let that chapter of your life lie. And I'm also quite a paternal person, so if the dad isn't too involved, I'd be willing to step up and give it my best shot. But there'd be a few other factors to consider as well- for instance, knowing that I'd like to have a kid or two of my own, would you be willing to date me? How would your nine year old daughter feel about me, about us, and about the prospect of some day having younger siblings? I'd date you, sure. But it'd be a big challenge to try and work everything out, that's for sure.
That depends on the current circumstances, teen moms are not a good thing that's a turn off but if you have learned from it and have not behaved in any impulsive way recently (within many years) then they may give you a shot.
I was dead against dating a Single Mother because I am not sure if I want children and I am not paternal. I am very introverted and I find dealing with my 5 year old nephew exhausting. I love him to bits but he's hard to handle, he's full of life and energy and I think to myself could I play happy families with a woman who has a child/children with someone else? I'm not sure, I don't think it's fair on the child/children either if I was to "give it a shot and then leave when it doesn't work out". Plus there's always the father that may or may not be involved and I'd feel like a spare part, a third wheel in that dynamic. I wouldn't hold what a teenager did many years ago. It's happened now and something good has come of it, but being honest I am not sure, so I won't selection an option here. I will never say never...
A significant number of guys will not date you because of this. Hiding it till later won't help. Unfortunately, guys looking to just hook up won't care, so you'll be losing more 'quality' guys than just random guys. And yes, guys who have less options are less likely to mind.
I think it will -sort of- actually get easier as you get older (unless you date older now), because the other group of guys who won't mind you have a daughter, is guys who are divorced. For older divorced guys, a pretty single mother who is responsible and much more mature than a childless young woman is sort of ideal.
I would date you, just be honest with them on the first date
It takes Someone Special to Take on someone else' Baggage, here, dear. My own sister was very 'Special' when she had Married a Man with 3 kids, and together, they made it Work as a Team. It isn't for all guys. It's a very Sticky Situation. Some of Them may Run when they Find out. However, if he truly Likes you from the Start, from his own Heart... Unconditionally, he will Stick around and Make it work as Someone Special who Knows he is in This for the Long Haul and All. Good luck. xx
Just be upfront about it. I had a child young too. In my experience there are a lot of guys who will be jerks about it. It just means that they are not for you. There are good guys out there who will accept that you are a package deal. If a guy is to pursue anything serious with you then he will have to understand that.
I'm proud to see a teen mom continue her and life and beat the odds. So if a guy doesn't want to date you because of that then forget him. You'll find someone who'll appreciate your journey, appreciate you, and your child.