Recently came out as bi. Slept with a girl for the first time and now she has feelings for me?

I broke up with my long term boyfriend 5 months ago, and I've been on the dating scene. I've always felt attracted girls; instead of feeling intimidated by pretty females I felt attracted to them and I've recently came out as bi. Anyway, I went on a date with a girl for the first time (SO nervous). I said to her that I wasn't looking for anything serious and we ended up sleeping together. This was a first for me and really different, I really enjoyed it. For me, it was an experience and a turning point. The girl knew I'd never been with a girl before, and she was excited to teach me new things. Problem is, whether its male or female, I believe I slept with her too quickly so I shrugged off the encounter as a bit of fun. Ever since that encounter though, she's been blowing up my phone desperate see me again saying she's never felt this way about someone before. This is becoming too much for me; especially since she's the only girl I've been with!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It has been my experience that many times females will equate sex and intimacy with love and being bisexual or homosexual I don’t feel is going to change this thought process. Therefore, when you slept with this girl, even though to you it was your first time and you’re not sure where you want to take your life moving forward, to her though you both shared something special and she’s believing this means something to the both of you and now gives her Rights to you and your body; believing you now have feelings for her as she does for you.

    I would suggest being open and honest with her and let her know how you feel and if you’re not ready for a committed relationship and you’re certainly not ready to commit yourself to another girl, then you need to be straightforward and let her know this before she becomes overly attached to you and you hurt her heart and her feelings. Unless of course you reflect on what happened and you feel this is the path you want to take, then go for it and be with her; still let her know how you feel though upfront.

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    • 3mo

      Thanks for the advice! I've already said to her I'm not after anything serious. I don't mind seeing her again to date casually but she's become very attached! It's so bizarre feeling this way!

    • 3mo

      That’s understandable to feel uncomfortable in such a situation, especially since you’re not looking for it right now. That’s good you told her upfront you’re not looking for something serious; this way she’s prepared for it if she continues to see you casually.

Most Helpful Girl

  • You should have the courtesy to tell her that it was a one time thing. You never talked to her about the possibility of being exclusive, so you should advice her to find someone else because right now you're not in the right place to be in a relationship with anyone.

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What Guys Said 3

  • you just have to reiterate that you aren't looking for anything serious

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  • good for you, if anyone doesn't like it then they are dick heads with actual dicks for head

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  • Yummy!

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What Girls Said 0

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