He went back to his ex but he gets mad that I talk to guys , what should I do?

A guy I had a fling with went back to his ex ( I will call him Tim) from a year ago and I accepted it pretty fast, it hurt but I accepted it. He was one of the few guys I felt that real special bond with, I could talk to him about everything and we behaved like best friends and like we were dating even if it wasn't anything official or anything. He ignored me for about 2 weeks after that as if I did something wrong and I started talking to this guy that knew him and he has been trying to flirt with me but I rejected him because I liked "tim" and when I actually let him in I felt comfortable with him. So on Friday Tim came up to me as if nothing was wrong did our special greeting and he asked if we were going to the party and I said yeah probably and he said that he would go too, nothing special and then he just stared at me and said " You are happy again" and I just said " yeah, I am happy". At the party we greeted pretty quickly and his ex were not there suprisingly and when I met him again he said " Damn you look beautiful tonight" and I just said thank you. I talked to the other guy all night and ignored Tim because I do not feel like I need to talk to him. He tried to get my reaction by giving my friends lap dances and just said " fuck you" to me, he were rude... And when me and the guy left the party hand in hand after and I know now that he is not that happy about it. I know I should just let it go but I dont wanna lose Tim as a friend... I dont want him to hate me or anything and he makes it seem like it is my fault... what should I do , did I do something wrong?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Jesus, just ignore him. It's none of his business.

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    • 3mo

      I know it's not but still.. I don't want him to hate me. because now everyone thinks that me and the other guy is dating while we're actually more of best friends... I don't know, I just feel stupid that I did that..

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    • 3mo

      he was my best friend.. if it was that fucking easy I would do it, correct?
      It's not just something to move on from when I lost a fucking piece of myself.

    • 3mo

      This doesn't depend on just you - if he were a true friend, he wouldn't treat you the way he does.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Tim is jealous and doesn't want you to be happy. He pretty much ignored you and went back to his ex now he's being a controlling asshole. It's not your fault and you should not be worrying about what Tim thinks. You need to worry about your own happiness. Tim is with his ex. He needs to worry about his own problems, it also sounds like Tim is unfaithful if he's giving girls lap dances and being jealous. Why would you want to please a guy who is a jerk and unfaithful?

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    • 3mo

      it's complicated. he was somewhat my best friend and it felt like I lost a piece of myself.. And every guy that talks to me, I compare to him.. I don't know why, it's not that I wanna please him, I just don't wanna lose him or his friendship. I'm okay with him and his ex, it's just that his friendship...

    • 3mo

      I get it, he was your really good friend. But you had feelings for each other-that now gets more serious than just being friends. You said so yourself, he was a fling for a while. You dont have to stop being friends but he just can't act stupid with you-or jealous of you because he moved on. He ignored you in the first place. Tim obviously still has feelings for you-but he can't be playing mind games with you when he wants.

What Guys Said 0

The only opinion from guys was selected the Most Helpful Opinion!

What Girls Said 3

  • Ignore him, your life is not his busyness! and he's a very shitty friend if he doesn't want to see you happy, he makes a crappy boyfriend but looks like his girlfriend is happy. seriously, he wasn't even worth your worries!

    Respect yourself and realise that people like Tim are poisonous and don't belong in your life.

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  • omg i was with someone like that. leave him thats the beginning stages to abuse.

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    • 3mo

      Even if I wanna keep him as a friend? I dont wanna lose him, i dont wanna end badly because we are both graduating next month and going separate ways... I don't know what to do...

    • 3mo

      Lets break it down. He got back with his ex.. to me that speaks volumes for where you stand in his life, and how he feels about you. You aren't a priority yet he wants to be upset with you when yo talk to other men. So only his hapiness matters not yours. You have to change your life to please him, but he won't do the same for you. At the enf of it all he chose someone else. The real question is are you willing to br 2nd best?

    • 3mo

      I dont really wanna get bck together with him, I just dont wanna lose him out of my life... he is possessive , I know that... He has acted on it before but I don't know, I am happy for him that he is with his ex because if that is what makes him happy then he should go for it but just that I somehow feel so damn guilty for everything i have done now... It just feels like I made a huge mistake and he is going to hate me forever...

  • Show some self-respect and stop trying to be a goody two shoes. Totally ignore him or if he confronts you tell them to go f... himself. You did nothing wrong. I absolutely hate manipulative guys like you described

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    • 3mo

      I know, i hate it too and i usually just ignore them and move on but this time i somehow can't...

    • 3mo

      But you can. Look in the mirror, realize what he's doing, admit it, tell your reflection out loud that you will not allow him to manipulate you

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