Would you date a 28 year old woman with 3 kids?

Her oldest is 10. All of them have different Fathers.
I have an online friend we've been talking since we were teens. She's now pregnant with her 4th kid from a different guy.
Each guy she dates a short while , apparently she falls in love and then gets pregnant.
Fast forward a year or two , she cries about how crappy the guy is and that she is single.

  • Yes, I wouldn't judge her
    11% (11)18% (36)16% (47)Vote
  • No way!
    89% (87)82% (166)84% (253)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I have dated women who had children, but none who had more than one stop to make on Father's Day.

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Most Helpful Girl

What Guys Said 92

  • That sounds like a lot of baggage I wouldn't want to deal with drama wise. The behavior sends some red flags. It would make me think "am I just going to be another statistic to this?" Kind of like, "what makes me so different from the guys before?"

    Also, the behavior is cause for concern with her herself as well. The judgement calls were pretty poor and she didn't learn from her mistakes. I feel like you could project this onto a larger scheme of things that paint a not so pleasant picture of her as a potential mate.

    Yeah, sure, I may hypothetically be different from the guys beforehand. She may have changed/learned from her experiences too. But I can only make judgement calls based on what's layed before me, and dating worthy is not what this points to.

    On a menial side note, she is a bit old for me, but I'm not factoring that into my decision. I voted B regardless.

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  • I wouldn't date her being pregnant as she need to be concentrating on other things then guys. I had a kid and my now wife still dated me so I don't want to be hypocritical saying I wouldn't but in her case I would pass. Seems like too much baggage and drama.

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  • This woman has absolutely no concept of responsibility, discipline, or self-control. Therefore, I could not expect her to have any discipline or self-control when it comes to important things like saving money and not getting into more trouble. A woman like that with no self-control and no discipline is one who willget into lots of problems.

    Men want partners to help get through the problems in life;in other words, someone who minimizes problems. We don't want someone giving us more problems.

    Word of advice: Keep your legs closed.

    cdn.shopify.com/.../mistakesdemotivator.jpeg

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    • 3mo

      Funny enough, I see some (or many) men choosing exactly the kind of woman who gives them a lot of trouble.

    • 3mo

      @dipta Such as this woman's last 2 baby daddies.

  • HELL THE FUCK NO!!!

    ANY man who would date a chick like that is an idiot and a simp... So pretty much she likes a certain type of dude. Im gonna say she likes dusty ass dudes because NO good men that I know would bust a nut and then leave her prego. Thats fucked up but girls like her like a certain type of dude and the guys she's fucking like certain types of girls...(naive type)
    Its her fault (partly), she needs to learn to distinguish between the decent men and bum ass dudes... No sympathy here...

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  • I still won't judge her. but she sounds like she doesn't have a vision for the future at all. I wouldn't date her. but I don't hate her or anything. iam sure she's a good person.

    she has to find another single parent who knows what's it's like and is more responsible.

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  • i am talking to a girl like this now, and she got std's from the last guy , she is almost to far gone for anyone to want to have anything to do with her. and i also i can't have kids so i pretty much only go for single moms seeing how its a family already made and i just have to marry the girl after i get to know her.

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  • I was going to answer yes to the question, but the details stopped me. She has some definite problems that I would not want to deal with.

    If she had an SO and had all the keds with him, then they got divorced or whatever, then I would have no problem with it. (Other than she is a bit young for me. lol)

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  • if we got along and i felt like she was a good person to date i would. i wouldn't completely discount her as a dating option because she had kids. i would be concerned about the fact that all the kids were by different fathers though and it would be something i'd probably have to talk about her with at some point if a relationship was going to proceed

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  • i might be looking at the problem wrong but if in ever relationship she gets pregnant, she isn't being responsible. and by now she should know what what causes it, and how to prevent it. to be a responsible person she should have tried not to let it happen again. thats why i wouldn't give her the time of day.
    with that said it goes the other way also. if a girl meets a guy who they find out has multiple kids with different people dump him and find someone more responsible

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  • It wouldn't necessarily bother me if it was her choice to have children by 4 different guys... if that was what she wanted and she went after it, fine. But this sounds like a pattern that she fails to recognize and a problem which is generally easy to avoid with birth control. She doesn't sound very bright, and that would be what would turn me off to her.

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  • No AND I wouldn't judge her. Not my place. But just because I don't judge her as a person, doesn't mean I still don't find flaws in her that turn me off from dating her (assuming I was that age anyway)

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  • No way. I'd date a single mother but she just sounds like trouble.

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  • I would happily date a 28 year old and consider myself a happy, happy boy. I would even date her if she had one child or so. But at my age, I do not believe that I would be able to date a 28 year old woman who has 3 children, because that would just be too much for me at this stage in life, especially when in many ways I myself am still a child.

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  • I'd be skeptical, not that I'd the judge person, but from my experience, I met a girl off tinder who was 25 and had 2 kids. She had a good personality and we got along fine. But her working and taking care of her 2 kids, which she had full custody of, was a 2 full time jobs. Not to mention the distance between us.

    When someone has kids, their kids will come first before anything. That's just how it is.

    I've been more open minded to dating women with kids as long as they don't expect me to help raise the kids, but I hate not being able to see them or having plans delayed due to the kids.

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  • It's too much to inherit
    I would like to start my own family not inherit one.
    Maybe if she had 1 kid I would be willing to date her. But 4 kids with 4 different fathers. It says something about her choice in men and her lack of intelligence in selecting partners

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  • Different fathers? No way.

    Having 3 kids with one man thinks maybe their marriage failed or someone terrible happened.
    3 kids, 3 fathers tells me she is not a very responsible person and given the trend am I going to be on her rap sheet of absentee fathers?

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  • No.

    That's really not a situation for me.

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  • Everything is based on circumstance... but i'd be skeptical going in.

    I voted A because I wouldn't automatically rule her out.

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  • No way. I am not her substitute dad. Additionally I will never be her #1 priority.

    Plus I don't date promiscuous women to begin with. If she sleeps around and then is crying because she is lonely - that ain't my business. She made a choice.

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  • Everyone has their thing in life they suck at. Her problem is obviously giving up on jerks and assholes lol whatever who the fuck am I to judge I have 4 kids by 2 moms so she's ahead a bit

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  • My issue would not be the kids - She is a faller by the third date she is planning the rest of her life with you and gets disappointed when you fart in bed.

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  • No.
    Did anyone tell her what the definition of insanity is?
    Insanity is... doing the same exact fucking thing... over and over again... expecting shit to change. That... is insanity.

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  • Four kids is alot' for a single mom. Even if a guy didn't mind the 4 kids from 4 dads it'll still never work. I doubt she'd have time to even date.

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  • I would give her a try (I'm sure you not surprised) I would get to know her soul and see what makes her tick. I would see if she is compatible with me or not. But she sounds like the female version of me.

    My mantra: find that person who's demons play well with yours.

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  • No. I'd always wanted a woman who has no children, that with it, form a family. With such woman I got married.

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  • What kind of woman is that? xD
    Now way I'm dating her.

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  • No way in hell. I wouldn't even date a girl with ONE kid.

    Mostly because I don't want kids at all to begin with.

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  • It's not the age/kids that's the problem, it's the fact that she has a different goddamn donor for each. She has complete shit taste in men and thinks giving them her pussy will keep the shit guy around.

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  • no. I'm not ready for kids right now and I want my own. In 10-15 years I might be okay if she brings one... or two. But 4? And everyone from a different guy... I'd have to be blind of love for that.

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What Girls Said 28

  • As a friend you really should get her to think about her poor decision making and to stop blaming the guys. I'd also educate her on the many available forms of contraception available in the 21st century.

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    • 3mo

      She doesn't want to hear it. She says anyone that says anything negative will be blocked.

    • 3mo

      Then she's beyond help and destined to her continued sadness. You may need to make the hard decision to remove yourelf from her life and drama. You can't help those who refuse to help themselves.
      I'd also add, she needs to take a break from dating, thinking about men and focus on her own life and the lives of her kids. It's not healthy for them to be in that situation.

    • 3mo

      @SarahsSummer - everything you just said!!!

  • I'm going to answer this as if it was a man.

    No I wouldn't. If it was 3 kids by the same person, I probably would consider them. But 3 kids by different people? No. Why is it that they can't keep a long term relationship, and secondly why do they feel the need to have a baby each time? It just seems irresponsible. The responsible thing is to enjoy time together, after the honeymoon period goes away and talk becomes more real, then you consider children.

    They clearly haven't learnt their lesson, especially if number 4 is on the way. Either keep it between your legs or take birth control steps. It's not difficult.

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    • 3mo

      But also if I was the bloke, it's one thing dealing with 1 ex in terms of children. It's another to deal with 4. It's just massively thoughtless from the girl to expect someone to accept that lifestyle.

  • No but that's just because I'm only 20 and I don't really want to get involvd with a 28 year old at all, certainly not if it involves me becoming involved with three young children. If I was older and in a more stable place in life, I might be open to it.

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    • 3mo

      Funny thing is, at your age 8 years was my smallest age difference.
      But not everyone is into that.

  • Let's switch this to a *man* with 4 kids. Nope.

    He'd have to be EXTRA freaking special to get me if he's even got 1. So... 4? lmao. <1% of that happening.

    I love kids.. It's just hard to get into someone's life who already has a kid. Takes time, work, and then worrying about "replacing" their mom... etc, etc.

    - - - So, I'd like a man without kids that could give me my own.
    Haven't waited this long to have kids for nothing, ya know?

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  • I'm pretty sure she has some kind of a mental disorder. Actually almost 99.8% sure. So nope, I wouldn't recomment anyone date her unless they plan on having a kid outside of marriage... And the additional baggage of other kids and an unstable ex.

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  • I wouldn't think a guy is an ass for not wanting to date her. 4 kids is a lot of responsibility. And this woman seems to have some really poor judgment. Not only that but this also means the 4 fathers may or may not be involved in her life still, which can complicate things quite a lot.
    I hope she does find a guy eventually who's right for her and doesn't mind kids. But I don't think it's shocking that her situation and poor decisions is a turn off for most guys.

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  • I try not to judge, but she sounds irresponsible... like fuck, it's so easy to not get pregnant and there are even options after the fact... there is no reason why a young, uncommitted woman should have multiple kids with multiple dad's...

    It'd be one thing if she was divorced or out of a long term common law relationship in which she had a few kids, but if she has a habit of getting pregnant by every new boyfriend, that is a whole different story.

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  • I'd question her ability to make smart choices. I'm not gay, so, I wouldn't date her. I would still be friends with her though, if she was nice :)

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  • I think it's a red flag that they all have different fathers. It would be one thing if she'd been in a long term relationship and had kids with him, but now she's onto her fourth kid. None of those relationships lasted. She seems irresponsible when she keeps getting pregnant. I feel sorry for those kids more than anything. There has to be something wrong with her if guys don't want to stay with her for very long.

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  • No because I don't even plan on having children myself and honestly she just sounds stupid, just like the guys she has the kids with.
    It's really not that difficult to use contraception.

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  • Lol you're next

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  • Hell no, she's a damaged woman with zero self respect or values.

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  • I'm into dudes so nope, even if it was a dude with 3 kids. I still wouldn't dude to the responsibility they have to watch them.

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  • Guys would date yes and maybe have sex yes but not marrying or take on her kids as they consider her damaged goods and her kids as a hassle and burden. Sorry.

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  • I'm a woman but I think you'd have to really be emotionally healthy to attract a healthy man. It seems like a lot of men who date women with kids do so in the hopes of just getting sex, or they think the woman will be desperate for a man because she has kids by different men and is single.

    I am 31 and I personally wouldn't date a man with kids because I want to have my own some day and I would hope to stay with whoever I have kids with.

    So again, put yourself and your kids first and be mindful about dating. Your hobbies sort of lay out what kind of men you will attract.

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  • She sounds very irresponsible. It will be hard for her to find a decent guy with all that baggage.

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  • To be honest, your friend sounds like a bit irresponsible and not very bright. So if a man wants something more serious he'd find someone who doesn't have 4 kids from different men.

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  • Not a hope in hell's chance.
    I would avoid her like the plague.

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  • You must want to be baby daddy number 5 huh? Girl is making bank with all that child support she's getting lol

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    • 3mo

      Ok my bad.. I thought a guy was asking this lol

    • 3mo

      Lol, far from a guy and if I were I'd have to be raising a football team of my own to consider this.

  • I'm reversing the situation, would I date a 28 yr old guy with three kids? Possibly. It depends on if we have chemistry and if I trust him. It isn't the kids' faults for existing, and I like kids of all ages.

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  • oh wow.. it would take a man that really love you to do that. and some would... i would not date a man with kids by diff mothers. but i wouldn't mind being friends.

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  • When a girl has 4 baby daddies, you are guaranteed to find yourself in a mad mix of drama. Stupid is as stupid does. She is also not selective. Dont think for a minute she is not loose. Hot dog, hallway.

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  • I wouldn't judge her but I would not be ready to suddenly get 4 children that weren't my own.

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  • Maybe if they were a 10 but most likely, no. I'm young and that's way too much for me right now.

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  • No way! What am I your sugar daddy?

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  • don't judge.. no one is perfect and for whatever reason she obviously hasn't met the right guy.

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  • I have a cousin who has 5 kids from diff men and she found a man who's been with her for more than 8yrs. They're a power couple.. he's 10yrs younger than her, and had no kids before her they have one son together

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  • I'm sorry but she just sounds like an idiot. If I were a guy I'd never date her for two reasons.

    1.) She sounds incredibly stupid
    2.) I hate kids

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