I have recently stopped dating. Not due to my daughter's autism. But because I completely lack the desire right now to date.
However in the past, every time I have met a guy I always wonder when I should talk about my daughter's disability. Sometimes I mention it right away when I think the date is not going well anyhow and I feel that I will never hear from him again if I mention it (I'm usually right). Sometimes if I like the guy a lot right away, I will keep it to myself to feel him out.
I would like to know because eventually I will start dating again. And I think I should approach this more cautiously when I do.
To me it sounds like you are self prophesying - Dating not going well, you throw your daughter's autism in to kill date - Dating going well, hold it back. I would try and get out of that frame of mind by putting your daughters condition to the side. Treat any dating as normal, when do you normally raise you have children, things still going well, it is all about connection, question I would ask myself is do I trust this guy with information about my daughter. If you do, and he is happy to stay then great however if he leaves, he was not worthy of being a part of your life or your daughter's life.
1. Why tell a guy you are't really interested in? Is it to make him feel guitlty about it not going well or whatever?
Anyway, main point. Why wase time ith a guy if it's going well only for him to not be able to handle it (or want to)? And that is entirely in his right to make that decision. At the moment you say to someone "I have a daughter" you should also say "I have an autistic daughter". But don't just leave it at that, fnish the sentence with "but she's good, and it isn't too full on" or whatever.
A lot of people only know about all the bad sides and hardships of raising an autistic child. If you want someone to be interested in staying, make sure you don't leave it at just autism and let them know that your interested in dating and your own life too.
But don't wait too long, don't make it seem like you're trying to hook them in and trick them, or don't waste everyone's time.
As someone who has dated single mothers it's not something I would expect to be told immediately. Maybe after learning some about your kid it can be worked into conversation... But don't wait until you're ready for them to meet. You don't want to spring it on them.
I have autism myself, so the best time is either when they go to meet your daughter or around the 2nd 3rd or 4th serious date. Now if the guy runs then he isn't a man, i understand if they would feel scared about at one point in time you may need them to help with her and he's nervous because he's never done it before but if he runs just because you have a kid or because she has autism in my books that is not a real man thats a child in adult clothes
Tbh if a guy is seriously going to stop contacting you just because your daughter has autism and he's not going to love and accept her for who she is then then there's no relationship with any guy if you can't find a guy that has no problem with your daughter then you probably Shouldn't date im not saying that to be mean im saying it because i think you know im right good luck with everything ☺
when the topic of kids come up, you NEED to mention it right away. Show them that you have nothing to hide. If it a deal-breaker for the guy, then be thankful it happen sooner than later. Don't waste your time or his time.
This really depends on the guy, few men can handle it many can't. After getting a sense of the guy, ask him about his thoughts of autism. Then press him a little at a time. See if you can warm him up to the subject then the person. See if that works.
You word it like you or your daughter are the problem. That is not so. The small minded guys that are worried about social status have the problem. Maybe you have to look at rearranging your priority list as to who you date. Not changing it or lowering your standards just changing priorities a bit.
Do you just say "I have a daughter with autism" or do you explain what that means? There's autism leading to high ability in mathematics and awkward social interactions and there's autism requiring care all day.
another option: love your daughter and put it up on your dating profiles online (so kind of right away). I don't want to show how much that sounds so insensitive to me that guys reject you because of your daughter. That's ridiculous. How is that going to affect them?
On the first date so you can find out from jump street and not waste your time with males scared of a woman with "baggage." You could be home with your baby instead of being wooed by a dude that's going to run away anyway. When one sticks around you know he's at least worth the time and energy.