I have recently stopped dating. Not due to my daughter's autism. But because I completely lack the desire right now to date.
However in the past, every time I have met a guy I always wonder when I should talk about my daughter's disability. Sometimes I mention it right away when I think the date is not going well anyhow and I feel that I will never hear from him again if I mention it (I'm usually right). Sometimes if I like the guy a lot right away, I will keep it to myself to feel him out.
I would like to know because eventually I will start dating again. And I think I should approach this more cautiously when I do.
- Right away so I can get the hell out of there.21% (8)32% (21)28% (29)Vote
- A certain number of dates.13% (5)28% (18)22% (23)Vote
- Doesn't matter.16% (6)15% (10)16% (16)Vote
- When you are ready for them to meet.50% (19)25% (16)34% (35)Vote
Most Helpful Guy
To me it sounds like you are self prophesying - Dating not going well, you throw your daughter's autism in to kill date - Dating going well, hold it back.
I would try and get out of that frame of mind by putting your daughters condition to the side. Treat any dating as normal, when do you normally raise you have children, things still going well, it is all about connection, question I would ask myself is do I trust this guy with information about my daughter.
If you do, and he is happy to stay then great however if he leaves, he was not worthy of being a part of your life or your daughter's life.2
Most Helpful Girl
1. Why tell a guy you are't really interested in? Is it to make him feel guitlty about it not going well or whatever?
Anyway, main point. Why wase time ith a guy if it's going well only for him to not be able to handle it (or want to)? And that is entirely in his right to make that decision.
At the moment you say to someone "I have a daughter" you should also say "I have an autistic daughter". But don't just leave it at that, fnish the sentence with "but she's good, and it isn't too full on" or whatever.
A lot of people only know about all the bad sides and hardships of raising an autistic child. If you want someone to be interested in staying, make sure you don't leave it at just autism and let them know that your interested in dating and your own life too.
But don't wait too long, don't make it seem like you're trying to hook them in and trick them, or don't waste everyone's time.2