Girls, When a girl ask for a break, what does that even mean? She doesn't want to date other people, she is just unsure of her feelings. What?

My girlfriend and I were dating just fine then we started arguing. A lot. Over trivial stuff. She asked for a break. She said she doesn't know how long the break will be but she is unsure if she is happy with me. She says she won't talk to or do anything with other guys while we're on this break but I just texted her goodnight and said I love you to her and she read it but didn't respond. She acts like she cares about me in person but over text she is treating me like just a guy-friend. I've read her conversations with guys on her phone before. The way she is talking to me now is very similar to that. Perhaps she has found a new guy and doesn't want him finding out that we are still together, we are just on break. So she can't text me things like I love you, or goodnight or something. What do you girls think is going on? Also, does a "break" mean a break up?

Updates:
3mo She is 16. I am 18. We are.. well.. we were very close to one another. I still am to her but lately it doesn't really seem like she knows what she wants. High school girls and all that. Normally I'd say "alright screw this" and leave because of she doesn't know what she wants then she clearly isn't mature enough for a real relationship, but she was my first, I was her second. I have a very strong attachment to her, so it's hard just "giving up".

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Well, here's my opinion, which may upset some people. I don't really like the idea of "Breaks" in any type of relationship. I mean, she's either your girlfriend, or she's not. I get that one can have some time to think to think to themselves and have a little chill out time, but a break? No, because after the break, the problem is still going to be there once she comes back. The only thing that "Breaks" do is prolong negative anticipations, trust issues, and wandering thoughts as if that person has already moved on. If she's a on "Break", does that mean she gets to see other guys? I mean, it's a "Break", right? So, in my opinion, there is no "Break", "lunch hour", "recess", etc in a relationship. It's ongoing even with ups and downs. What she needs to do is TALK out these problems WITH YOU that are causing you guys are argue.

    I noticed you said you guys have dated a month and already she claims to love you. With her being young, and likely a typical confused and drama high school girl, she may not really know what she's saying. But I see you're trying to reach out to her with a lovely text, and not even that got her to come around. She's taking you for granted, and possibly likes the fact that you may be squirming or trying to desperately chase and get her back. Don't give her no entertainment or satisfaction in that becuase I really wonder how she would act if you just disappeared and remained silent; making her realize she was stupid to let you slip by. It's not fair for her to have you sit around and halt your life until she's ready to come back.

    Honestly, date somebody around your level. I mean seriously. You deserve a mature partner, and one that actually wants to talk to you when something is wrong.

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What Girls Said 20

  • That's a toughy. When things got really bad with my ex (I contemplated climbing out the window and onto the roof cause the arguing was so bad) I asked for a break. I did it cause I needed time to see how I felt without him, whether I was missing him or feeling relieved he wasn't there, whether I'd be ok without him or not. Also so that I could work on myself and take a step back and evaluate whether we could sort out our problems or not, so I made my decisions on certain things so that I knew that that was where I stood. I ended up breaking up completely because I realised it wasn't fixable and that he wasn't going to change or compromise on anything. It may be different for you though! It really depends on what's happened and the reasoning behind why she may not be happy. If she misses you and realises you can sort it out it'll be ok. Just give her space and time.

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  • To me it means that: she may feel overwhelmed by the intensity of the relationship, she needs to step back for a breather and calm down and chill before resuming the relationship. (She may also use this time to evaluate the relationship to either continue or end it.)

    She may feel that the relationship is monopolizing her time to be with others whom she has friendship relationships with, she needs the time to reconnect.

    I've never taken a break from my relationship with my guy, but I've never felt smothered by him either.

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  • Break = going to troll for a larger selection of candidates than just you b/c things are either changing or not working out & trolling is the least trouble to fix all that = lazy, not motivated to work things out

    If forced upon you, she needs to be told that ending the break "takes two to tango" so that calendar date can't be also forced upon you (as this one IS) - for she will end the break if you're getting more attractive fish trolling than she is!

    Best to agree to the break, telling her you really think the whole deal is over. You will date others and still be friends with her but nothing more, ever.

    Only then will you be free of Qs like this posted - for a gal that fits can finally find you free of "her", move in and be quite understandable b/c she's falling for you (unlike Ms. Mysterious)

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  • At your age, and I'm assuming here that she is around the same, I would guess that she isn't happy with you, but she doesn't want to be alone. She's holding onto you as a backup to see if she can find someone better. Girls do normally mature faster than boys, but I wouldn't know how mature she is. What I am trying to say is that more mature women might really mean the reasons she gave for the "break".

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  • Break means don't call or text her. She needs time to think about the rekationship without your input. I'm my situations, I've just wanted to get to the point of missing him and vice versa ;depending on who initiates the "break"
    Just give her space. There's a much stronger chance of her missing you and the relationship if she can actually miss you which won't happen if you are texting or trying to call her.

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  • A break doesn't necessarily mean break up but the way this girl is acting I guess she is confused she doesn't want to hurt but at the same time wants to be left alone. Dont text her for a while give her some space ( about a week) and if she still acts that way tell her that you need to talk and ask her whats happening be understanding.

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  • A break is not a break-up. It just means that she wants her space and doesn't want to hurt you or herself. Let her have the space she needs for a little while and then re-evaluate with her. Communication is the most important thing and respecting her wish to have some space. If you guys have been fighting a lot then maybe some space for the both of you is a good thing. Just don't assume it is the end of your relationship because if two people want something enough then it will all work out.

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  • Breaks is an a way to ease out of relationship without really breaking up or pathetic excuse to talk to other men/women so when you find out that person can say "I'd know why you're mad.. we were on a break". The only break I believe is breaking up... there's no such thing as taking a break from a relationship. You're either in or out.. instead of taking a "break" you sit down and talk out your problems. This girl just wants out of the relationship, do her favor and call it off.

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  • Maybe she needs some time to des over herself outside of the relationship and maybe you're smothering her. Some girls push away the people they love because their wall is starting to be let down. How long have you been together?

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    • 3mo

      We have been together for just over a month. She said I love you first so I said it back. I didn't want her to feel like I didn't want her or something. I have feelings of love for her but it's only been a month. Can you even love someone in such a short time. She's 16. I'm 18.

    • Show All
    • 3mo

      Yeah trust her 😊 she will come around, just letting her know you're here for her is the best you can do x

    • 3mo

      We have become... intimate. She was my first, I was her second, so just being her friend after being so close to her is.. well it's kinda hard. She says if I really care about her I'll wait for her to figure out her feelings, but how long is to long to wait? I'm thinking 1-2 months. I can't wait forever. She means a great deal to me but how long should I wait?

  • It varies for every girl. I have done that in the past because I felt like I lost attraction towards him so I wanted to figure out my feeling. Personally, 90% of the time it isn't a good sign so just be mentally prepared.

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  • It means she dumped you in the trash can! Its over! Finished! Oh golly my answer does seen a bit harsh please dont cry - you'll get over her and find another bloodsucker that will take your money and dump you in the trash can just like this one has. Cheer up! It could be worse! Well, maybe not. Have a nice day now!

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  • She needs time to herself to think about her future with you. Sometimes being apart helps the couple make up their mind. You guys are still young so it's not the end of the world if it doesn't work out.

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  • it means that, she need a space to think, and she's unhappy with the relationship. She might think all the argument messed her mind and affected her daily life, so she need something to solve it. so she ask for a break... but, honestly, most of the time... if things don't change, she will leave the relationship

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  • to me it sounds as if she genuinely doesn't know whether she wants to be with you anymore, maybe the arguing has become so much it's ruining her idea of what a lovely relationship looks like. she probably just wants time to think. I'd try not to text her to be honest. she wanted space for a reason and you could end up pushing her away. respect her wishes and let her chill alone. If she misses you she will be back! If she doesn't then it just wasn't meant to be sweetie x

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  • To me, it doesn't sound like she found another guy, it sounds like she's just unsure if she wants to be with you. I've been in that position (hers). If you wanna wait for her to decide if she likes you go for it. But I'd advise against it.

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  • How old are you guys? Well it can be 2 things. She can just be really stubborn and say that to make you feel bad and see if you are willing to stick around because she is testing you.. Yeah some girls are crazy or 2 she can just be really done with you and was to afraid to hurt your feeling so she through the word "break" to not be so mean and let you down easier then saying it over completely. Or she she can be a bitch and told you that because she talking to someone else and is trying to see if anything happens with them and if it fails she still had you around as back up. I use to do this a lot I know mean but I am just letting you known

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  • A break is the in between stage before either missing you in that time and getting back together or not missing you and enjoying the single life and breaking up.

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  • She wants space and time to think.

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  • Well it's called break for a reason. She wants some time for herself and with you texting her all the time probably makes her even more confused, Give her a little space, this may be one of her tests to see if she still cares for you and if she loves you

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  • No a break is exactly that. I break, a time out and texting I love you or goodnight every night isn't taking a break. A break is taking a step back and just trying to get your head on straight... ya know?

    I have taken breaks when I first started dating my now Husband. Dating can be overwhelming when your pretty young (we were 16 and 18). I used to need breaks. We are 29 & 31 now... have been married for 9years this year (together for 13).

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