Does doing a lot for a guy turn him off?

I'm the type of woman who likes to provide things and initiate in relationships, which is usually the guy's part and sometimes I think it turns guys off. I feel dumb being the one to pay for things and making plans, but it feels like if I don't, those things will never happen ex. Planning and paying for a dinner. Today I paid for movie tickets, drove us there, provided him with supplies he needed, and cooked for him. I don't know what to do because i feel if I don't do these things for him I'm not valuable but if I do continue doing these things I won't be valuble to him because some people say it makes you look desperate by doing too much. Helpp lol


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What Guys Said 2

  • you already answer you're own question tbh..

  • I say "no, it doesn't". But don't go over the top, don't be so quick to do everything, take it easy. Maybe he's just more laid back than you. Maybe there will be more balance in the future as you both develop and mature


What Girls Said 1

  • hi there. Trouble is, it sounds like you're a bit too desperate to please... I was like this with my new boyfriend of 3 months at first. I'd come out of a 10 year marriage and he has been married and had a tough time. I did it because I wanted to be kind to him, make him want to be with me more I guess. silly really when I look back now but after a 10 year marriage I didn't even know how to date anymore! Then I decided I was being over the top and chilled a bit. He has since become the perfect gentleman! takes me to beautiful places! cooks me dinner often and opens doors and carries my bags etc. He is wonderful! still a bit lame at texting back and planning weeks ahead but hey you can't have it all I guess! lol. Maybe just do what I did, quite doing these things and cool it a little... I bet he will soon step up! x