I think my guy is losing interest. How do I talk to him about this?

We met online and we’ve been dating for just over 3 months. Things were really great up until a month ago, where he became less affectionate in person (i. e. no more holding hands in public) and the texts were less flirty and affectionate too. He would mention plans, but no day is ever confirmed unless I ask him. He lives about 40 minutes away, and drives (I don’t) so I mostly pay for him (when we go for drinks somewhere) when he comes to see me to balance out the cost of his gas money. It’s only fair. I’ve met his family and his friends, and he’s even mentioned me meeting more of them fairly soon but I don’t understand this sudden shift in behaviour. The uncertainty of when I’m going to see him next bothers me, and when plans are finally made, it’s always me who has to confirm them. I probably only see him once a week, tops.

I’ve tried being more flirty/affectionate in texts, initiated holding his hand in public, but nothing feels reciprocated. My instinct is saying that because he “has” me, he no longer has to put in any effort and that he’s becoming lazy but I still feel like I’m getting to know him. We have never talked exclusivity; we’re both the kind of people who like to see how things unfold naturally but his behaviour has stalled any progression in my eyes. We both said at the start we’re not looking for a fling, but I feel I’m being taken for granted. Last night he didn’t text me all day for the first time.

I need to talk to him about this; but not sure how to word it without pushing him away?

I know what I’m after, and that’s eventual commitment with somebody.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Ask him where he sees you two now then ask where he sees you going. If he has no plans for commitment or is vague then you want different things and you'll have a decision

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What Girls Said 2

  • You should definitely talk to him girl. I had a boyfriend for 2 and a half years and he started acting like this and a couple months later he broke my heart and left me because he lost interest. I don't want you to get hurt like I did. use your best judgement

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  • Just say what you feel , say it as it is.

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