I've been talking to a woman online for a little over a week. At first, our conversations were pretty short, but have picked up a little in the last few days (lasting 2-3 hours a night). There are multiple times a day that I will think of her and smile. Is it weird or creepy for me to send her a message telling her that I was thinking about her, when we are in still in the (very) early stages of getting to know one another (have not spoken on the phone or met yet)? Do I send it or keep it to myself until further down the road. I don't want to ruin anything or make her feel that I am too needy. Any feedback helps. Thanks.
Most Helpful Girl
If you've been talking for 2-3 hours, then I think it's okay to tell her that you were thinking about her, BUT, this is where choosing your words very carefully comes into play.
If you find yourself thinking about her and absolutely want to let her know, I think the safest way to go about it is to bring it up in such a way that references something or some things you've talked about.
For example, you talked about cats. Then, maybe the next day, a cat showed up at your front door and wouldn't leave you alone. You can text her and say something like, "hey, just wanted to let you know that I thought about you today. I remembered that conversation we had about cats, and something interesting happened to me this morning with a cat... so it made me think about you. hope you're having a wonderful day..."
Conversely, it's NOT safe to just say something straightforward and creepy (so early on) like, "Hey, I've been thinking about you a lot." There's no context or background if you just leave it at that, because as far as she knows, you're just thinking about her like a creep.5
Most Helpful Guy
To me better to err on the side of later for these things.
Generally confessing how you've been thinking or dreaming about her and so forth early can strip away some qualities of yourself that are attractive to her unless she's feeling very much the same way.
You don't change people's minds about you typically with such a confession. You tend to push them towards a more extreme end (like or dislike), and also strip yourself of that kind of independent quality of requiring the girl to earn your affections and not just have them for granted which, when taken away too early, can backfire very badly.
It's generally safer to keep it friendly and fun and focus on having a good time together. There will come a time when there's little doubt that both of you have been thinking about each other a lot, and then revealing that can make her glad. Right now, it's probably too soon or better still to err on the side of reserving that for later.2