When is it too soon to tell a woman you are thinking about her?

I've been talking to a woman online for a little over a week. At first, our conversations were pretty short, but have picked up a little in the last few days (lasting 2-3 hours a night). There are multiple times a day that I will think of her and smile. Is it weird or creepy for me to send her a message telling her that I was thinking about her, when we are in still in the (very) early stages of getting to know one another (have not spoken on the phone or met yet)? Do I send it or keep it to myself until further down the road. I don't want to ruin anything or make her feel that I am too needy. Any feedback helps. Thanks.


2|0
12|10

Most Helpful Girl

  • If you've been talking for 2-3 hours, then I think it's okay to tell her that you were thinking about her, BUT, this is where choosing your words very carefully comes into play.

    If you find yourself thinking about her and absolutely want to let her know, I think the safest way to go about it is to bring it up in such a way that references something or some things you've talked about.

    For example, you talked about cats. Then, maybe the next day, a cat showed up at your front door and wouldn't leave you alone. You can text her and say something like, "hey, just wanted to let you know that I thought about you today. I remembered that conversation we had about cats, and something interesting happened to me this morning with a cat... so it made me think about you. hope you're having a wonderful day..."

    Conversely, it's NOT safe to just say something straightforward and creepy (so early on) like, "Hey, I've been thinking about you a lot." There's no context or background if you just leave it at that, because as far as she knows, you're just thinking about her like a creep.

    2|3
    0|0
    • 3mo

      I did the thing similar to the cat example to my crush. His response was neutral but i could sense that he liked it and that was enough for me to know it worked.

Most Helpful Guy

  • To me better to err on the side of later for these things.

    Generally confessing how you've been thinking or dreaming about her and so forth early can strip away some qualities of yourself that are attractive to her unless she's feeling very much the same way.

    You don't change people's minds about you typically with such a confession. You tend to push them towards a more extreme end (like or dislike), and also strip yourself of that kind of independent quality of requiring the girl to earn your affections and not just have them for granted which, when taken away too early, can backfire very badly.

    It's generally safer to keep it friendly and fun and focus on having a good time together. There will come a time when there's little doubt that both of you have been thinking about each other a lot, and then revealing that can make her glad. Right now, it's probably too soon or better still to err on the side of reserving that for later.

    1|1
    0|0

What Girls Said 11

  • Personally I would wait. Nothing bad can come of waiting until you two are a little more established, but you could scare her off by appearing too eager.

    0|2
    0|0
  • Give it a little more time. It's really cute but just a bit early. Two more weeks at the least. She'll be more comfortable hearing it. Glad to hear you're falling for her.

    0|1
    0|0
  • maybe not tell her so promptly try to tell her in a coy way or maybe tell her that you saw something that made you think of a conversation you had earlier. Having an inside joke always makes a comnection stronger ;)

    0|0
    0|0
  • It's a little bit early, its okay to feel that way but I wouldn't let her know until you guys have met

    0|0
    0|0
  • I think it's cute :-)

    0|0
    0|0
  • Keep it to yourself until after the second date or something? As a girl tho, if I said it to you now, it would be less creepy but does not mean it would not weird the guy out. Hold off for now.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Tell her! You have nothing to lose.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Like it should be at least a week bby

    0|0
    0|0
  • Tell her how you really feel simple as that. I don't think it's being needy. Don't wait too long.

    0|0
    0|0
  • If u mention it in a cute way I think it's fine.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I guess u should listen to the majority.. but I for one liked to be told I'm being thought about.. it doesn't have to be over thought... people say that all the time... but I guess if ur not feeling it then don't do it

    0|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 9

  • Pretty much never. Women are simply not attracted to men who talk about their feelings. Just ask her out and if you like her show her by kissing her. Just telling her you were thinking about her is useless. If you tell her that she will subconsciously start to think "well if you are thinking about me so much then why don't you just man up and ask me out?". If you ask her out then she can put 2 and 2 together and figure out you like her.

    1|1
    0|0
  • DON'T DO IT! It will appear too eager and too needy. Your instincts are right.

    0|2
    0|0
  • The only purpose for an 'online' communication should be about when and where you're next meeting IRL is. Anything esle is a waste of time and effort and WAY too easy to be misconstrued.

    Wait, you haven't even met yet? Gaah! Time to do that sooner rather than later. Relationships are about relating, like interacting. Not some typed drivel.

    2|1
    0|0
  • Face to face would probably be better. Or even on the phone. But online and by text? To open to interpretation and misunderstanding in my opinion

    0|1
    0|0
  • Just ask her out.

    0|0
    0|0
  • When you don't even know her yet. Too soon.

    0|0
    0|0
  • never tell her that
    she will like damn this guy likes let me play hard to get

    0|0
    0|1
  • lol I don't think so...

    0|0
    0|0
  • Don't tell her, demonstrate it to her by arranging a date.

    1|0
    0|0
    • 3mo

      Could not agree with you more! Arrange a date, there is a possibilty that in person, there is a lot or no chemistry. Meet!

Loading...