Guys, Why are guys so quick to stop talking to girls when they realize they're a single mom?

Do you think they'll just want you for your money?


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27

Most Helpful Guy

  • I have kids, I love them like crazy.

    Kids are a really big deal. They radically change your lifestyle.

    Dating someone with kids? They have way different time constraints. On top of that, either you casually hook up with them quietly... or you end up dating seriously and being around their kids. It's hard to do the middle ground.

    Tons of people don't want kids, those that do typically want their own, and they also don't want to get involved, bond with kids, then break up and have them AND the kids upset and never see them again.

    My kids are the most important thing in my life, but I absolutely think it's normal for people to not want to date those with kids, especially when young.

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What Guys Said 26

  • Most young guys are not interested in

    1. raising another guy's child,
    2. dealing with the drama which sometimes accompanies such situations, and
    3. living a lifestyle that is encumbered by a child.

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    • 3mo

      There are going to be a lot of single men in my generation. Possibly be single until they die.

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    • 3mo

      @Asker

      You could date another single mother's baby daddy and it would work out somewhat, mathematically. But you're not likely to do that because you (young single mothers in general) know from experience those guys are mostly deadbeat POSs. The flip side of this is that a single guy with no kids knows you were stupid/irresponsible/impulsive enough to have a kid with a deadbeat POS and that you're most likely more attracted to those types than to him.

    • 3mo

      And I do feel sorry for those kids. I'm not in that position. My son calls my husband Dad even though he knows he's not. Its my husband's idea to adopt him. I never even thought about. I was fine with being alone and having my casual hookups. one casual hookup turned into dating. Something I honestly didn't want at the time. He took on that dad role himself. I never forced my child on him.

  • 1. Pretty much no guy wants to raise the child of another guy.

    2. Dating a single mom means that as a guy you are never the first priority.

    3. Yet, you are expected to be some sort of substitute dad. And if you do and actually bond with the child, you have no legal means to actually be part of that childs life.

    4. Most single moms have a bad reputation for a reason. Aka sleeping around, mental baggage, etc.

    5. Possible struggle with the actual father.

    it is simply not worth the hassle.

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  • a young guy may not want the added burden or responsibility. Wives, kids are expensive. they basically lose their freedom... a guy has to be ready for that commitment. young guys aren't that settled or financiall sound (some).

    It didn't stop me, but I was in my 30's and in better place. In my 20's I would generally not be interested.

    may have to wait for right guy or slightly older one?

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    • 3mo

      I'm not asking for myself. Several of my friends are having that issue. My husband had no problem taking my son in like his own. I didn't want a relationship. He's the one that persued me knowing I had a 4 year old from a previous relationship.

  • I don't think it's a money issue. I think for a lot of guys once they know a girl is a mom they instantly realize a relationship with that girl isn't just with that girl, but her child automatically becomes part of the picture (and rightly so). It's not that they dislike kids, they just don't want that level of complexity in a relationship at that point in their lives.

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  • It's sad when guys do, I don't see any issues with talking or getting to know/date a single mom

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  • well whats the point of talking to a women after you realize they are a single mom. a decent guy should want better for himself. why can't he get a girl that doesn't have kids? does he not deserve a family of his own?

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    • 3mo

      statistically men who seriously date single mothers are 20 times more likely to be pedophiles.

  • We don't want someone else's kid, or a baby daddy, or to forever be second best to someone else's kid.

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    • 3mo

      That's not always the case. My son looks up to my husband. He doesn't care about his deadbeat dad. He loves his stepDAD like he's his actual father. My husband wants to adopt him and my son wants it too.

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    • 3mo

      You don't have to prove or justify anything. It's great that you found a guy who was a perfect fit. Several commenters have already given numbered lists that explain just how lucky you are to have him.

    • 3mo

      I know. I just like to put out there how much I love my husband.

  • 1) They could be after me for my money
    2) Kids are expensive, so even if she doesn't intend to use me for my money, I will probably end up spending money on kids anyway.
    3) I don't want anything to do with children
    4) Single mums get understandably stressed, which makes them less physically attractive over time.
    5) I don't know if I have already said this but I don't want anything to do with kids.

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  • Why wouldn't they? Everything a single Mom has or says she has, a woman out there who is completely single also has, and more. There is simply no benefit of going for a single Mom Vs a completely single woman.

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  • Because I don't want to raise some random dude's kid

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  • I don't want to waste your time.

    I REALLY don't want to waste your kid's time.

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  • "Do you think they'll just want you for your money?"

    Yes, that's one major reason. I could give you a list of other reasons but other people here have already done that...

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    • 3mo

      I'm glad my dating days are over.

  • Yes above everything else !!

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  • do we?

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  • I'm strongly considering messaging a single mom on a dating website because it looks like we'd be an amazing match based on her profile, and I can't have my own children anyways due to genetic condition.

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    • 3mo

      We both are looking for a real relationship... Not just a casual thing or hookup.

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    • 3mo

      No I knew exactly what you meant. But if you feel a connection with someone, regardless If they're a mom or not, you can't help but try to pursue.

    • 3mo

      My only concern is the possibility that her children might not accept me as a father figure.

  • No but the risk is real.

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  • i doubt its money but a lot of guys will not want a child in tow

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  • nah they just do poor life choices so its a red flag to me

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  • because no one wants a package deal
    u and your child specially young men

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    • 3mo

      Well I found my husband several years ago while being a single mom. He's only 3 years old than I am. We were young

    • 3mo

      he's probably a beta male.

  • not sure.. not heard of it

    may be because of responsibilities

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  • red flags red flags

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  • Couple of things:

    1. I am 25, I have goals in life, and I know what I want out of life. My goals in life do not include me having a "step child" or spending time with another man's son/and or daughter.

    2. I don't want someone else's kids. I want to have my own kids...

    3. Every time I see your kid, it will be a constant reminder that you loved another man and that child is the result of that love.

    4. Because of your kid, you cannot stay out as late or do fun things. You have a "curfew" for when you need to get back to your kid.

    5. I don't want a pre-made family. I'd rather start my own.

    Basically... in short... I want a woman with no kids. Someone that I can grow with, have adventures with, get married to and THEN have kids of my own with.

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    • 3mo

      How nice for you. Lol. Thank God my husband is one in a million. We are all a family, my son and our daughter.

  • Im afraid its the extra baggage and the possibility of being her next baby daddy no offence intended

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  • too much baggage. if he's not willing to try and take care of you AND a kid, there's no point

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  • Yeah I kinda do. Plus other things.

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  • Nothing to do with money. Single moms come with baggage. When you have a single girl, her love and devotion is directed mainly at you. If you have a single mom, the kid is always first (which it should be). Then there's the original father. I feel like a single mom can't give that same passion that a single women can.

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    • 3mo

      That is absolutely not true one bit.

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    • 3mo

      To be completely honest, my husband was the one that wanted to take him places when I was just fine watching TV. While we were dating he was the one that found the baby sitters. And we didn't have a "curfew". So in actuality he's the that put my son first.

    • 3mo

      Asker That would a different question than this one asked.. That is not at all how you presented the question though. I don't see anything wrong with a guy being that way for your son or you. This question asked wasn't about that in its concept. So that's why you got that opinion instead

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