Female Superior: Should I ask her out for a date?

"If you like her, then just go for it!"
- Internet consensus

Here's the twist: I'm currently serving an uniformed conscription. And she's quite the high achieving officer - cute, funny, intelligent, earning a high wage, and 5+ years older than me. (Most importantly, she's single)

A subordinate dating their boss is always a poor idea, regardless of gender. Hence, I would have made the approach if we've met under different circumstances. I'm aware that women often struggle to be taken seriously as leaders in such a workplace and that dating a subordinate could undermine people's perception of her. Admittedly, I fear that rejection would have implications on our professional distancing as her subordinate.

Apart from the age gap, there's also a difference in our educational levels (She's the top graduate-scholar type; I'm just average). We do text each other, mostly about work, and also shared laughter at work. But I'm bad at picking up hints of interest (no shame conforming to social stereotype here!)

So, should I ask her out and "keep it a secret"? Openly and casually display my admiration to open up the opportunity? Or, just simply no?


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What Girls Said 2

  • Noooooo. BAD idea. Do NOT ask her out and move past this crush thing.

  • Bad idea, looks unprofessional


What Guys Said 1

  • no, dont do it. you're in a subordinate position, this means she could take hostage of your balls if she wanted to