My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 years now and has told me that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. We talk about our future very often (i. e. how we are going to raise our kids..) but told me that we should live together to build a foundation and get used to each other and then he will propose and since we already live together it is going to be a very exciting and smooth transition as we plan the wedding and everything without going through the usual frictions. He says that he would propose within a year of living together and I do trust him but my parents are very conservative and told me that my relationship with them would be damaged if I do that. He says that he doesn't want them to "obligate" us to get married prior since it would be something that they want and not something that we want... and that he is very firm that if we don't live together before then he won't propose... what should I do?
1mo My friends say that why does it have to be under his conditions... I agree with his argument but would be great if he wanted to do it for my parents (that is getting married before living together)
You should invite your boyfriend to sit down with your parents and explain his position, they can explain their position. You should then announce that the three of them have put you in a horrible position in which you cannot win and you expect them to resolve the problem between themselves. Then, you get up and walk out of the room.
Typically when a couple lives together then marries, the odds of divorce are INSANELY high.
I read an interesting theory that said that's because when a couple is living together the woman still feels like she has to "earn" the man and keep his interest. Then they marry and the dynamic shifts, that she knows he can't just leave or find a new woman if she's bitchy. Then that subtle power shift makes the man unhappy and kills the interest for the woman.