A few years ago I "hooked-up" with a friend, then later turned down another hookup with him because it wasn't going to become more than that... I'm a single mom, he said he doesn't take well to kids, he's a womanizer and I actually don't like hookups. Basically, we like each other but we have different objectives.
Fast forward to now. I just came out of a serious relationship. It ended 6 weeks ago so I'm far from over it, but I'm getting out and socializing again. This friend contacted me today and asked me out on a date.
So... he knows I don't do hookups, I know he doesn't want a relationship, and I'm not ready for either of those things right now anyway. How do I honestly tell him that I would like to go on dates with him but I don't want a hookup or a relationship? Lol
I know most of your answers will be "just tell him", but I'm hoping for suggestions on wording so I don't offend him or make him assume that by accepting his offer I'm now interested in hookups again. Or worse, make him think I'm "friend-zoning" him.
I have no idea why you would go with him if you don't want a relationship or a hook up so I don't think now would be a good time any way for you to go out since clearly your not ready for it. But maybe just tell him that your not interested in a hook up and right now your not ready for a relationship so you wouldn't mind going out on a date with him but you can't really promise it will be anything more for the time being. Something along those lines that way its straight forward enough that he won't misunderstand your intentions and still lets him know that your interested in him.
So he doesn't take well to kids and he is a womanizer but you want to spend time with him. Don't get me wrong, I'm not highlighting this because I am surprised, I am highlighting it so that guys take note of the choices women make.
So you just want to hang out? like two buddies doing stuff together? It sounds like you need friends of either gender. You're going the long way around in describing this.
When you say date, there's an implication that someone is paying for someone else. If that's the case that's bull shit. You date people hoping it leads to sex, a relationship, marriage. You've clearly stated that's not happening.
Assuming you want sex with him, just tell him that you don't want anything romantic, but you need a fuck buddy for now. He can either accept or go away, the main thing is to be absolutely clear what your intentions are and ensure he understands. The same if there is no sex involved, say you just want to be good friends, but nothing more!
What do you want from the dates if not a hookup or relationship?
If you're looking for a meal and conversation and nothing more, that's something friends do. Tell him that right now you just want to be friends with him. That is "friend-zoning" yes, but if you don't want a hookup or relationship with him, you've already done that.
So you want him to wine and dine you, but you have no intention of putting out?