It's all in the question, because lately when I have gone on dates, I would only get a first date but no second dates, and I have met these girls for coffee at Starbucks, so it makes me think if I should stop setting up coffee dates for a first date.
1mo And why does it seem guys are more than girls are, at being the victim of being flaked or having dates cancelled on you?
If you're meeting online, then I think coffee shops are one of the best places to meet up. Smoothie places are good too. These places make for a laid-back environment, and they're not too expensive. If the location is nice, then it can be fun to take a walk together (while drinking the coffee or smoothie drink). I personally feel less shy and nervous when I'm walking and talking, rather than just sitting face to face. Maybe I'm weird though haha.
If you've met them in person, then you could definitely try being more creative with your first date idea. Some ideas: bowling, mini golfing, ice skating, a yummy hole-in-the-wall type restaurant, a bakery or cupcake shop, a museum, dinner and a movie, etc.
If you've just met online and haven't texted for weeks, were just like 'you seem interesting, brief flirt, lets meet', then coffee or an after work (not after dinner) drink is a good quick way to meet in person.
As for starbucks, it really depends. I work in a downtown core and live in the deep suburbs. Where I work, suburbs are like the standard coffee, the starbucks are high traffic places and would suck for a date. Find somewhere much smaller, or maybe grab a coffee at a little restaurant that you can chat in. Out where I live, where there's no massive foot traffic, starbucks are trying hard to act like nice little café, and they could be fine.
If you already know the girl, i'd plan a slightly more interesting date. The point of a coffee date, honestly, is that it can end in 20 minutes easily.
Most first dates don't lead to second (if they're the first time meeting). But if less than 1/4 are, i'd question if you're doing something wrong in the date.
A coffee date for a first meeting is fine. But honestly, it's nice to go on a real date. It will make you stand out for sure. Pretty much everyone does coffee dates, and what if your date doesn't drink coffee? It's just really intimidating (at least I find it is) when you are meeting someone and have to sit across from them and talk.
Go do an activity. Doesn't have to cost a lot of money, could be as simple as a walk in the park, followed by some mini golf, or ice cream. You could even visit a museum or go to a festival or outdoor concert.
In the fall, go on hay rides, visit a place where they make maple syrup. There are all sorts of things you could do. Do some research. Think of things to make you stand out!
Usually, on Probably knowing the Best from the Rest, What a Guy is Thinking when it Comes to A... First Date. Many guys Today may Take the girls to a Simple place to an Inexpensive meal that is Served, or even to a Coffee Spot, that might Not be too Hot. It can be even a Pub for a drink, just to Talk. This way, if it Doesn't work out, he is Not out of a Pretty Penny. Good luck and Great question. xx
Coffee I think is fine. :) Maybe get the coffee to go and go walk around a park or shopping center and talk for a while. As for your second question on why guys get canceled on more I don't know, i say life just happens sometimes, where you have to cancel and its nothing against the person, things just happen.
coffee is a great first date~ neutral turf, gives you a quiet atmosphere to really get to know someone... always a safe bet.
my last first date was a coffee date that turned into a day-long adventure, then into a 2-year relationship. i'm not sure where you're meeting these girls (online, at work or school, somewhere else entirely) before asking them out, but it may just be that you need to change where you're meeting them or they type of girl you're looking for.
Coffee is fine for a quick meet, like if you're meeting in person the first time having connected online.
For me, I always preferred a casual, fun date for a first date... like meeting up for a beer, going to an arcade, mini golf, bowling, grabbing a drink and walking around downtown or around a park... that kinda thing. Dinner is a bad first date because it's too formal and it's annoying trying to talk and eat and not be a slob. Movies are even worse because you don't have the chance to actually talk and get to know each other.
I would prefer to be able to talk to you more. Personally I would like a dinner date maybe followed by something else. The best date I went on was dinner followed by ice skating. I want to find out more about you so movies are a bad idea. Maybe something fun the first date and then dinner the second would be good too. Coffee is a bit boring tbh, but fine.
I think any casual setting used to get to know someone is a good first date. One where you can talk and listen to each other and look at each other. That fact that it only costs a few dollars is a plus.
i feel coffee is such a typical first date. i wouldn't mind it though. but id prefer like the movies or and activity. because im bad at talking for a long time. because i have bad relationship with my family. and i love my job taking care of kids. and i love my major or psychology... but those are typically stuff people dont like to hear on first dates... so i like first dates where those topics dont slip out
Lunch date is good nothing too fancy but also not like fast food.
Or ask her if she had anything in mind, say something like " (insert her name), I would really like to get to know you better, could I take you on a date?" She will say one of two things yes or no. If she says no thank her and let it go. If she says yes, then say something like "is there anything in particular that you would like to do?"
Coffee, ice cream parlor, desert shop, walking/hike in my opinion are great places for first dates it allows you to talk In a laid back environment that isn't super expensive like dinner. If the first laid back date is a hit then a second fancier dinner/movie date could do.
it depends on the girl. Some like Cafes, others fancy restaurants... try asking the girl what kibd of places she's into. But u know... even if she's into other stuffs and hates cafes, she wouldn't care going out with u again if she liked u. Maybe its not t place, its not u, its not her... maybe u just didn't find a match.
Be creative, do something fun. Mini golf, bowling, arcade gaming, ice /roller skating, make a picni and take board games, the zoo, a pet rescue space, crab racing, tranny bingo... There are so many options
I think you asked this question before. Starbucks is a place to meet it is not a first date. I would be offended if a guy asked me on a Saturday night to go to Starbucks. Not only wouldn't there be as second date they wouldn't be a first
If you want to meet you go to Starbucks. That's a cheesy date if you want to date. If you want to ask me out for a date a real date, go to the red lobster
For some insane reason if you decide to just give a black dude a shot.. Make sure its out in public with cops around, or hire some cops to look out for you. And bring deodorant, tooth paste, & toothbrush incase he didn't use any of that.. BE CAREFUL & GOOD LUCK
coffee dates are great when you are still feelings around and seeing if your interested... if it's pretty casual and yous are just meeting there. If you want it to be more serious I'd pick something else... I guess it depends where you are at emotionally with the person.
Try an Ice Cream parlor or Ice Cream shop, or maybe a cookout, or a barbecue or a picnic or something similar. Or even go out for Pizza!
Maybe go shopping, err, window shopping with them and see if that makes any differences.
Switch it up and try something new and fun.
Maybe go ride bikes together, or go fishing together (if you can meet or fulfill all of the requirements), or something else, maybe billiards or bowling.
There's always bars and nightclubs but that's probably meant for hookups moreso than to find someone that is more suitable for a LTR.
And then movie dates, but this really is not ideal if it's the first, maybe for the 3rd or 4th date, or much later than that. I heard it's not recommended since you can't really talk much or have any real conversations with it.
It's the same old, same old, cliché "dinner and a movie" if you heard of it. Best saved for the later dates, after if you figured if you two clicked or not first within the first 2 to 5 dates.
Guys are more likely to get flaked, because guys are doing the majority of the asking. It's a numbers game. Most girls don't want to be the one to chase.
Personally, I don't think where you go matters much for a first date. Just do what sounds fun to do/watch alongside her. I've had first dates at the movies, at theme parks, at art museums, at the beach, at dennys lol. Wherever. Location really doesn't matter. What matters is that you make her feel good anytime she's around you and honestly express who you are. That's most important. Remember that the girl falls in love with the soul. All the external shit is secondary.
If a girl likes you, she won't care about the venue. Don't think that you can win a girl over by spending $ on her.
Source: Have had three girlfriends and spent a total of $2 on first dates over 7 years of dating. And why? Because they liked me for who I was inside and not on shallow stuff like whether I paid for them or where I took them.
I have never been on a date before, so perhaps I'm the last person you should take advice from, but I'd still like to share my thoughts on this. Coffee seems to be the conventional choice but if you're not even a decent conversationalist then you're putting yourself at a disadvantage. Something more active/interactive, maybe even competitive, could work better. Ex: pool, walking, bowling, board games, sports
Coffee or something else that's inexpensive. If she's into you, she won't give a damn where you went or what you did. If she's not, you're just wasting time and money so you might as well waste as little as possible.
Guys get flaked on more, because they are invested a little more in the date. The guys the one usually asking the girl out, so they have to put more on the line in being afraid of being rejected and are the ones usually planning the date.
Maybe a brothel? That way if it doesn't work out with the girl, you have other options nearby.
Coffee is a good choice. Or a bar that serves appetizers.
Girls flake more often because they are constantly bombarded with messages from guys, so they will always be getting messages from guys who are better than you in any random way (better looking, better job, better hobbies).
What's wrong with you? Don't you know there's a minimum amount you need to spend if you're interested?