What are the best places to go to or to do for a first date? Is coffee a good idea or not?

It's all in the question, because lately when I have gone on dates, I would only get a first date but no second dates, and I have met these girls for coffee at Starbucks, so it makes me think if I should stop setting up coffee dates for a first date.

Updates:
3mo And why does it seem guys are more than girls are, at being the victim of being flaked or having dates cancelled on you?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • If you're meeting online, then I think coffee shops are one of the best places to meet up. Smoothie places are good too. These places make for a laid-back environment, and they're not too expensive. If the location is nice, then it can be fun to take a walk together (while drinking the coffee or smoothie drink). I personally feel less shy and nervous when I'm walking and talking, rather than just sitting face to face. Maybe I'm weird though haha.

    If you've met them in person, then you could definitely try being more creative with your first date idea. Some ideas: bowling, mini golfing, ice skating, a yummy hole-in-the-wall type restaurant, a bakery or cupcake shop, a museum, dinner and a movie, etc.

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    • 3mo

      Is going to the fair or to a theme park a good idea for a first date or is that not recommended until later?

    • 3mo

      If you've met her in person, then yeah I think that'd be a fun first date idea.

    • 3mo

      But if I met online, then going for coffee is a better idea right?

Most Helpful Guy

  • How well do you know these girls?

    If you've just met online and haven't texted for weeks, were just like 'you seem interesting, brief flirt, lets meet', then coffee or an after work (not after dinner) drink is a good quick way to meet in person.

    As for starbucks, it really depends. I work in a downtown core and live in the deep suburbs. Where I work, suburbs are like the standard coffee, the starbucks are high traffic places and would suck for a date. Find somewhere much smaller, or maybe grab a coffee at a little restaurant that you can chat in. Out where I live, where there's no massive foot traffic, starbucks are trying hard to act like nice little café, and they could be fine.

    If you already know the girl, i'd plan a slightly more interesting date. The point of a coffee date, honestly, is that it can end in 20 minutes easily.

    Most first dates don't lead to second (if they're the first time meeting). But if less than 1/4 are, i'd question if you're doing something wrong in the date.

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What Girls Said 29

  • A coffee date for a first meeting is fine. But honestly, it's nice to go on a real date. It will make you stand out for sure. Pretty much everyone does coffee dates, and what if your date doesn't drink coffee? It's just really intimidating (at least I find it is) when you are meeting someone and have to sit across from them and talk.

    Go do an activity. Doesn't have to cost a lot of money, could be as simple as a walk in the park, followed by some mini golf, or ice cream. You could even visit a museum or go to a festival or outdoor concert.

    In the fall, go on hay rides, visit a place where they make maple syrup. There are all sorts of things you could do. Do some research. Think of things to make you stand out!

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    • 3mo

      Is going to the fair a good idea? A theme park?

    • 2mo

      A fair or a theme park is a great idea! Usually there are rides, exhibits and even just the ability to walk around the park and see all the happenings. Plus it's a good excuse to try and win your date a cute stuffed animal, or to have a friendly competition with one another for prizes.

  • Usually, on Probably knowing the Best from the Rest, What a Guy is Thinking when it Comes to A... First Date.
    Many guys Today may Take the girls to a Simple place to an Inexpensive meal that is Served, or even to a Coffee Spot, that might Not be too Hot. It can be even a Pub for a drink, just to Talk.
    This way, if it Doesn't work out, he is Not out of a Pretty Penny.
    Good luck and Great question. xx

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  • Coffee I think is fine. :) Maybe get the coffee to go and go walk around a park or shopping center and talk for a while. As for your second question on why guys get canceled on more I don't know, i say life just happens sometimes, where you have to cancel and its nothing against the person, things just happen.

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  • coffee is a great first date~ neutral turf, gives you a quiet atmosphere to really get to know someone... always a safe bet.

    my last first date was a coffee date that turned into a day-long adventure, then into a 2-year relationship. i'm not sure where you're meeting these girls (online, at work or school, somewhere else entirely) before asking them out, but it may just be that you need to change where you're meeting them or they type of girl you're looking for.

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  • Coffee is fine for a quick meet, like if you're meeting in person the first time having connected online.

    For me, I always preferred a casual, fun date for a first date... like meeting up for a beer, going to an arcade, mini golf, bowling, grabbing a drink and walking around downtown or around a park... that kinda thing. Dinner is a bad first date because it's too formal and it's annoying trying to talk and eat and not be a slob. Movies are even worse because you don't have the chance to actually talk and get to know each other.

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  • Yes , going for a coffee is a great idea. It's an informal and relaxed atmosophere.

    To get a second date though you have to suggest a second date , but suggest an alternative to going for a coffee.

    Some people don't look on going for a cofffee as a date , so that's why it's best to suggest a second date, but elsewhere

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    • 3mo

      If a guy does suggest a second date but the girl doesn't want to, what do you think are the main causes behind that?

    • 2mo

      If she says no to a second date then I'd assume the connection or chemistry between you wasn't there.

  • My best friend goes to Starbucks on dates all the time but for me id prefer pubs but that is due to me not liking coffee lol a dog walk can always be an idea

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  • I would prefer to be able to talk to you more. Personally I would like a dinner date maybe followed by something else. The best date I went on was dinner followed by ice skating. I want to find out more about you so movies are a bad idea. Maybe something fun the first date and then dinner the second would be good too. Coffee is a bit boring tbh, but fine.

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  • I think any casual setting used to get to know someone is a good first date. One where you can talk and listen to each other and look at each other. That fact that it only costs a few dollars is a plus.

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  • i feel coffee is such a typical first date. i wouldn't mind it though. but id prefer like the movies or and activity. because im bad at talking for a long time. because i have bad relationship with my family. and i love my job taking care of kids. and i love my major or psychology... but those are typically stuff people dont like to hear on first dates... so i like first dates where those topics dont slip out

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    • 2mo

      You take care of kids. If the guy is into a serious relationship he might as well like it. I know I do. It makes you think she'd be a great mother.
      And talk about a specific person in your family you wish you'd have a better relationship with. As long as you won't fall into tears and stuff I think it shows a bit of human vulnerability and shows that a person, however many troubles she may have, is mature enough to face reality and not hide behind an mask.

    • 2mo

      @RedHood7 but at my age no one is really looking for a serious relationship. and i kinda do fall into tears when ibtalk about my family. i was heavily abused growing up so i cut them out of my physical life. but ibstill wanted to keep contact with them. but they won't respond to my messages or answer my calls

    • 2mo

      Oh boy. Ok then. Dont talk about your family in the first date. Do it when you're already in a relationship. Just to be safe. Sorry you had to go through all that. Must be painful not to talk about it.

      Also, you're 23. How come people dont want a serious relationship at 23? I mean, I get that many are just having fun and stuff but at some point you're gonna find men your age who take an interest in something more serious. Im 20, most of my friends are 22-24. They all want relationships, just not all the time.

  • Lunch date is good nothing too fancy but also not like fast food.

    Or ask her if she had anything in mind, say something like " (insert her name), I would really like to get to know you better, could I take you on a date?" She will say one of two things yes or no. If she says no thank her and let it go. If she says yes, then say something like "is there anything in particular that you would like to do?"

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  • Coffee, ice cream parlor, desert shop, walking/hike in my opinion are great places for first dates it allows you to talk In a laid back environment that isn't super expensive like dinner. If the first laid back date is a hit then a second fancier dinner/movie date could do.

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    • 3mo

      And something tells me that girls flake on guys more than the other way around, do you think that's true?

  • it depends on the girl. Some like Cafes, others fancy restaurants... try asking the girl what kibd of places she's into. But u know... even if she's into other stuffs and hates cafes, she wouldn't care going out with u again if she liked u. Maybe its not t place, its not u, its not her... maybe u just didn't find a match.

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  • I just like going for walks on first dates. Depending on where you live, it could be the park, could be the shopping area, could be the beach.

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  • I always like simple with a relaxed but easy exit route.

    Night time park and city walks are perfect.
    So are club events.

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  • If she drinks coffee, yea it's good

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  • Be creative, do something fun. Mini golf, bowling, arcade gaming, ice /roller skating, make a picni and take board games, the zoo, a pet rescue space, crab racing, tranny bingo... There are so many options

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  • Yeah coffee is good or lunch at a cafe

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  • A cafe with boardgames was fun for my first date

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  • Anything could work but how about trying to take her to an adventurous place.

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  • Coffee dates are good.

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  • coffee walk
    take a cooking class
    wine tasting
    outdoor activities
    watch the sunset
    etc

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  • Coffee would be great in my opinion

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  • I like coffee 😬

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  • I think you asked this question before. Starbucks is a place to meet it is not a first date. I would be offended if a guy asked me on a Saturday night to go to Starbucks. Not only wouldn't there be as second date they wouldn't be a first

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  • If you want to meet you go to Starbucks. That's a cheesy date if you want to date. If you want to ask me out for a date a real date, go to the red lobster

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  • good

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  • For some insane reason if you decide to just give a black dude a shot.. Make sure its out in public with cops around, or hire some cops to look out for you. And bring deodorant, tooth paste, & toothbrush incase he didn't use any of that..
    BE CAREFUL & GOOD LUCK

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  • coffee dates are great when you are still feelings around and seeing if your interested... if it's pretty casual and yous are just meeting there. If you want it to be more serious I'd pick something else... I guess it depends where you are at emotionally with the person.

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What Guys Said 20

  • Try an Ice Cream parlor or Ice Cream shop, or maybe a cookout, or a barbecue or a picnic or something similar. Or even go out for Pizza!

    Maybe go shopping, err, window shopping with them and see if that makes any differences.

    Switch it up and try something new and fun.

    Maybe go ride bikes together, or go fishing together (if you can meet or fulfill all of the requirements), or something else, maybe billiards or bowling.

    There's always bars and nightclubs but that's probably meant for hookups moreso than to find someone that is more suitable for a LTR.

    And then movie dates, but this really is not ideal if it's the first, maybe for the 3rd or 4th date, or much later than that. I heard it's not recommended since you can't really talk much or have any real conversations with it.

    It's the same old, same old, cliché "dinner and a movie" if you heard of it. Best saved for the later dates, after if you figured if you two clicked or not first within the first 2 to 5 dates.

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  • Star gazing and Deep Meaningful Conversations.

    Nice Picnic at the park and interactive games.

    MAYBE coffee and roaming around the mall?

    I wouldn't recommend movies as the first date. You need to ensure that your first date has enough room and opportunities for interaction.

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  • Anything that promotes conversation. This is why a movie is the worst place for a first date.

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    • 3mo

      Luckily the past couple of first dates I've been on have not been at the movies, they have been meeting at coffee shops but yet I am not getting any second dates, so it makes me wonder is V the location I am picking for the date or what I am talking about with the girls on the date that makes them not want to see me again

    • 3mo

      I doubt its the place. Sorry

  • Guys are more likely to get flaked, because guys are doing the majority of the asking. It's a numbers game. Most girls don't want to be the one to chase.

    Personally, I don't think where you go matters much for a first date. Just do what sounds fun to do/watch alongside her. I've had first dates at the movies, at theme parks, at art museums, at the beach, at dennys lol. Wherever. Location really doesn't matter. What matters is that you make her feel good anytime she's around you and honestly express who you are. That's most important. Remember that the girl falls in love with the soul. All the external shit is secondary.

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  • Coffee and a walk, yea.

    If a girl likes you, she won't care about the venue. Don't think that you can win a girl over by spending $ on her.

    Source: Have had three girlfriends and spent a total of $2 on first dates over 7 years of dating. And why? Because they liked me for who I was inside and not on shallow stuff like whether I paid for them or where I took them.

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  • Are you meeting these girls online? What site?

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  • I have never been on a date before, so perhaps I'm the last person you should take advice from, but I'd still like to share my thoughts on this. Coffee seems to be the conventional choice but if you're not even a decent conversationalist then you're putting yourself at a disadvantage. Something more active/interactive, maybe even competitive, could work better. Ex: pool, walking, bowling, board games, sports

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  • Best places for a first date? Well what about a $30 a night motel off interstate 50?

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  • Yeah coffee is always a good idea, getting drinks (just dont get too drunk), food and anywhere where you can actually talk and get to know each other.

    Never go to a concert or movie where there's no time to talk.

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  • Coffee or something else that's inexpensive. If she's into you, she won't give a damn where you went or what you did. If she's not, you're just wasting time and money so you might as well waste as little as possible.

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  • Coffee is boring, that's something you do when you've been dating for a while.

    On a first date you want to try an exciting event like bowling or going to the zoo.

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  • Guys get flaked on more, because they are invested a little more in the date. The guys the one usually asking the girl out, so they have to put more on the line in being afraid of being rejected and are the ones usually planning the date.

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  • yes. But Starbucks is so, eww.

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  • Coffee isn't a bad idea. When you've got that awesome love connection and sparks are flying anywhere is a good place for a first date.

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  • Disney part

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  • MERCILESS

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  • Maybe a brothel? That way if it doesn't work out with the girl, you have other options nearby.

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  • Coffee is a good choice. Or a bar that serves appetizers.

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  • Girls flake more often because they are constantly bombarded with messages from guys, so they will always be getting messages from guys who are better than you in any random way (better looking, better job, better hobbies).

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  • What's wrong with you? Don't you know there's a minimum amount you need to spend if you're interested?

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