Has dating ruined your self-esteem?

After nearly a year of having roughly 1 or more online dates per week, my self-esteem has been ruined. I'm pretty convinced I'm ugly now and have no "game" as many like to put it.

Anyone feel the same way?

  • Yes
    24% (9)42% (21)34% (30)Vote
  • No
    76% (29)58% (29)66% (58)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • 1 or 2 dates a week is A LOT. There are men who literally go on for months and can't even get a single date. Be grateful sweetie loll

    And eh, a bit. BUt thats because I dated dudes who werent fully into me. Its more like my questionable choices did lol

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    • 3mo

      It's not. Literally any guy can time some decent pictures, get on Tinder, the worst invention of all time and get a few dates a week. It's not complicated. What the purpose of the exercise is exactly, I'm not sure.

    • 3mo

      Well, there are so many men that come on here and they complain that they have no luck

Most Helpful Guy

  • Don't be so hard on yourself man. At least give yourself credit for trying and learning despite no actual success. Failure and rejection is difficult to take, have you ever seeked help and advice and try different methods after so many dates? If you're doing exactly the same thing each and every single time every single date, then there should be no surprise why it isn't working because those methods you had previously used at the very beginning had never even worked in the first place.

    It will take time, but if you become single chronically and long enough you may completely stop caring all about it and give it all up altogether. Besides, relationships are not guaranteed to last forever and neither will they ever guarantee any sort of real happiness. That part is entirely all on you and is completely your responsibility.

    Have you ever considered the possibility that you may never end up in any relationships at all over the course of your lifetime? And if you did, then what would you then do? What exactly then are you willing to do?

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What Girls Said 14

  • "B" for Better person, @LiterallyZeus.
    It has Allowed me Many different Experiences in my own life, to Have Had and still have the Privilege to Date and Mate, and be Able to Tell about it, maybe even Help someone, such on Gag even, which is How I have Gotten to this Level.
    Good luck and Great question and Welcome to Gag town. xx

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  • A relationship I was in, did shatter my self-esteem. For a while after, I thought I was useless and no good.

    Dude did a number on me and got in my head.

    - - - Since then, I've had time to heal. :]

    The casual dating I've done since that relationship has only increased the size of my ego and self-esteem. :*

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    • 2mo

      Since you are a girl, I'm not even slightly shocked that casual dating has inflated the size of your ego and self-esteem.

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    • 2mo

      You have 0 tolerance? For what exactly? Sadly this is not an echo chamber for your ideas alone and blocking people (a favorite tool of feminists and those with fragile/indefensible opinions) is barely a way to demonstrate your self-esteem and self-proclaimed big ego. If you're that sensitive about what supposed sexists like me have to say, it's probably best for you to avoid public discussion of anything other than self-aggrandizing and self-reassuring delusion.

    • 2mo

      @alter_ego - Have you ever been in an abusive relationship that completely broke you?

      Do you know what that's like? To feel like complete shit, having a man tell you how ugly you are, how "plain" and that no one else wants you? Someone you spent 3 years with and loved?

      So, yeah, due to that, I think I've got the right to grow a big ego and enjoy my life.

      If EITHER of you have a problem with that, grow up.

  • even as a girl it's ruined my self esteem. it seems like s lot of men chase after me and find me attractive. but the only guys that are interested in a real relationship with me are the ones that I'm not interested in. when I date as guy I actually like it seems like after a few weeks he's no longer interested. and everyone I've been in a relationship with has cheated on me. it stings either way. if you don't get a call for that 2nd date from someone and you thought it went well, or even when you think it's going so good that it could get serious only to discover he's not on the same page

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  • Nah, it hasn't ever ruined my self esteem. Even when I've been rejected, it's never been so heartbreaking that I assume it's my fault. I just sort of accept that it sucks and I move on.

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  • It hasn't lowered my self-esteem , but it has taught me what I don't want in my life , and what sort of relationship doesn't work for me.

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  • It actually has improved it. I mean I have meet a lot of great guys, sadly enough it hasn't worked out with most but we have remained friends and for the most part if I want advice I generally ask them. I told this one guy I communicate with that he needs to go out to flirt with more girls. He is such a smooth talker he could give anyone a good ego boost.

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  • Yes to an extent, but not anymore. It taught me how to be confident in myself and my decision. I learned that I won't tolerate certain behaviors, attitude and treatment from anyone. Be it spouse, parents, family or friends. Lastly, it taught me self love and self respect. It is really essential that we take care of our emotional health, a sound mind is a sound body.

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  • Nope. The opposite actually.
    I had worse self esteem when I didn't date.

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    • 3mo

      And why would you say that is?

    • 3mo

      I started taking better care of myself when I started to date.

  • A little bit to be honest, when I have someone its great.. when they leave me it makes me question myself

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  • I don't date anyway.

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  • Not very lol

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  • I am more selective so i have much fewer dates, by choice which in turn dampens the blow frequency

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  • I had been with my ex boyfriend for 3 years... I was never confident with myself before him - always thought that so many things were wrong with me.. but he made me love myself - he appreciated my body so much.. he literally worshipped the ground i walked on.
    After our break up, yes i worked a little on myself - i always made sure my hair was nice, i had good outfits on and without him i wouldn't have ever felt as good as I do now about myself.

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  • I've never dated. I had 'boyfriends' very briefly (for like a few weeks) when I was 10 and when I was 14. When I was 19 I met my current boyfriend online and we became very close friends very quickly and kind of almost got together but didn't a couple of times, and finally did get together 3 months ago, and I am nothing but happy with our relationship :) (I'm almost 21 now)

    I don't think I could 'date', I could only ever see myself being friends with a guy first, that worked super well for me, and now I just want to stay with my boyfriend. Forever and ever :)

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What Guys Said 15

  • I've gotten my heart broken a couple of times. I ain't even gonna lie and pretend otherwise.

    But oddly enough, my self-esteem seems to get better as time goes on. I've been fortunate enough to have a few pretty special women interested in me -- and with me -- in my life, so maybe that plays a part? For instance, the last woman I was into is completely amazing, and even though it didn't work out, I can't help but feel good about sharing what we had.

    Like, don't get me wrong, I derive self-esteem from who I am independent of what others think of me. I genuinely like me a lot. But it doesn't hurt when a few amazing women affirm that you're desirable.

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  • If anything dating has affirmed that I really am better than most people. I haven't settled on fat girls, I haven't accepted dishonesty, and I certainly didn't stay with girls that cheated... I definitely am not a beta, everything else is up for question, but at least we have that solved.

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  • I dated a lot, weekly for about a year until I settled with one.
    I can not say that dating lowered anything.
    Conversely, I believe that I became a better person as a result of many new dates.
    I learned how to better center my focus on the date and her motivations as opposed to selling myself.

    Just my opinion

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  • I used to feel that way when I was doing online dating. Just stick in there eventually you will find someone.

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  • My mum ruined my self esteem.

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  • I don't even really date so like I haven't had the opportunity to get my self esteem ruined.

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  • Awww boo hoo. Want to hold my hand cupcake?

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  • No. I realized a while back that dating is for chumps, so I don't do it. If a bitch is a

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    • 3mo

      (Fuckin phone!)

      If a bitch is attracted to you, she'll fuck with no need for dates. If she's not, no amount of dating will ever change that. So why invest time and money?

    • 3mo

      Lol, I can't stop laughing! My phone does that too. It usually does it when I am in a heated debate, hate that though.

  • I taught me confidence in myself

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  • My self esteem is impossible to ruin.

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  • cool story bro.

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    • 3mo

      Very insightful, thanks for your opinion. Bro.

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    • 3mo

      well no, since i thought this was pretty lame, since a person islame for thinking this.

    • 3mo

      There is nothing inherently wrong with having that opinion or expressing it. It just isn't terribly useful to anyone else.

  • Yea, dating is not for me. I don't see the point in dating anymore. I just hookup and have sex and my life goes on without having a women hold me down. Its way better

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  • not me

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  • My self esteem was already non existent

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  • My lack of it has.

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    • 3mo

      Trust me, I probably would have been better off without dating at all. Online girls completely ruined my self-esteem

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