I regularly take my guy out. Dinner, drinks, a movie, whatever. Happily💟❤️😜. But when it comes to the VERY FIRST DATE...
A Man Only Has Two Gifts
When it comes down to understanding the Laws of Polarity, masculine energy only has two gifts to offer the feminine. Simply put, it’s his job to protect and provide. In order for feminine energy to relax into a relationship and let her guard down, she absolutely must feel “safe” and if she doesn’t, it’s game over.
In order to feel safe, she probably has to be in the company of a man who is confident, relaxed and grounded. He has to not only take care of himself, but also take care of her. This means she has to feel protected and safe in his company—both from outside forces—and from him. She also needs to feel like he can provide for her needs and look after her. Obviously, the easiest and most symbolic way to demonstrate that is by providing the meal you are sharing.
So, what is the woman’s responsibility here?
If a man’s responsibility is to protect and provide, the gift of the woman is her ability to nurture and have her man’s back. Simply put, a man is looking for a woman who will gratefully receive his gifts and appreciate his generosity. The fact is, a man can be with anyone else at any given time and when he invests his time, talent and treasure with a woman, he simply wants it to be acknowledged. Those who seem less than grateful or have an attitude of entitlement should realize how distasteful that is and not be surprised when a good man finds it to be a deal-breaker.
- Makes sense. I agree62% (24)48% (21)54% (45)Vote
- I don't get it and therefore disagree.38% (15)52% (23)46% (38)Vote
For those who think I made this up, I took the excerpt from Dave Elliot relationship expert at YourTango. com
I'm not talking about kids and how they spend their allowances. I'm referring to adults who are looking for love.
Most Helpful Guy
It makes sense, but it's way too complicated a way to get to the answer.
I solved the problem using game theory.
The guy essentially has four choices at the end of the first date :
If the girl offers to pay, the guy can either let her pay, or not let her pay.
If the girl doesn't offer to pay, the guy can just pay, or ask her to pay.
Note that at the point of making that decision, the guy has no way of telling whether there will be a follow up date, whether the girl is a gold digger, whether she's promiscuous, whether she's all about abstinence, etc, etc.
So with that information in mind, unless she offers to pay for the first date, he is only cock blocking himself by not paying. There is no upside to it at all, except the one time cost savings of the meal and the time spent. If she goes on and tells her friends about the experience, it might even cost him potential future dates/sex.
TL;DR - Guys who don't pay for first dates are just dumbasses on a mission to cock block themselves.0
Most Helpful Girl
I'm a firm believer that a man should pay for the first date unless I'm the one who invited him. Though, I've never had a guy ask me to pay. Even when I invited him out, the guy has always paid for me, even if we went out just as friends. Most 'men' that don't pay tend to be little boys who think they shouldn't have to work for anything or, at least, that's the kind of guys I run in to around where I live.
I don't mind paying for a guy if we're together. I've taken out ex's on dates a lot. Breakfast, movie, dinner... as long as I could afford it, we went. I think a man should be treated, too, but not right out like that. To me, it's part of the chase, the thing men tend to like the most.
Any guy who expects me to pay for myself or pay for the entire first date in my opinion simply isn't interested in me like that. I like being the submissive person in the relationship and by me paying for the first date, I feel like I'm taking on the dominant role.1