Am I being a spoilt brat if I would like a guy to be chivalrous to me and court me on a date?

I don't know what's up with your guys recently but like i get the whole equality thing, but would you guys not want to court a girl and do nice things for her on a date. My last date did nothing for me and i never felt special at any point during the evening. He just talked about his things and what my plans for the future are... never offered to pay or make me feel like a girl at all?

Like am i missing something or are you guys just not interested in courting a girl and dating her and making her feel that little bit special?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Courting and chivalry (as it relates to women, which was only a very small part of the code, and only applied to noble Ladies, not commoners) are dead, and women killed them.

    Let's play Reverse the Genders for a minute...

    Would you cook a man a nice meal, clean his home, give him a massage after work, all that good shit, if you knew there was a high % chance that after you did all that, he was going to give you a pat on the head and then go fuck some skank?

    My phone just learned the word skank.

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    • 2mo

      I doubt they'd like that lol these women don't know anything about empathy or they'd already realize our point.

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    • 2mo

      @tyber1

      You know what a chameleon is, right? ;)

    • 2mo

      I'm just gonna stop responding now

Most Helpful Girl

  • If paying is the only way a guy can make you feel special, you're missing out!

    A guy who feels genuine interest in you as a person is so much more thrilling than a guy who is just trying to go through traditional routine to get laid.

    If he's a good match, you'll feel so envigorated by each other's company thar something like pulling a chair our or buying you coffee sounds petty.

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What Guys Said 22

  • So your upset that your being treated like an equal instead of special? Its one or the other either your an equal or your treated special not both. Then on top of that what are you doing to warrant him treating you that way? He pays for dinner great, what are you offering in return? Women did things for men and men did things for women historicly speaking so when women complain about men not being chivalrous the fact is its got more to do with you then them. Women wanted to be treated as equals then immediately complain they lost all the benefits of being treated differently, women complain that men are not chivalrous but then do absolutely nothing to actually deserve that chivalry. Are you acting like a lady? Are you doting on him are you going to make him lunch or dinner or just cook for him in general? Are you going to show respect towards him etc. etc. etc? No. So the reason why men no longer play these games is because their is no benefit to it why go out of your way and pay for everything and do everything for her to get literally nothing in return? If you want a chivalrous guy you need to give him a reason to be chivalrous and until that point what you are doing is selfish and rather narcissistic as your only thinking of yourself, you believe that you deserve preferential treatment for no other reason then because you are a woman. That no longer works because we treat men like shit in our society and men are becoming increasingly fed up with having all the expectations placed on them with absolutely no reward. HIstoricly a women spoke with reverence to men because it was men working their asses off and giving everything they had to the woman, they respected him because of all he did for her and as such they whent out of their way to do things for him, now you want to have all of what they did but not have to show respect without having to give anything in return and that's simply not going to happen. Hence all the male responses being much the same, you can't expect a person to work for free which is exactly what you are demanding of men.

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  • That's seen as a sexist thing to do now and most guys are subconsciously okay with that. It is incredibly hard and expensive to plan an entire first experience around someone else in an attempt to impress them.

    If you like being pampered, it's totally fine. If you're setting a standard you have to be pampered, you're going to be waiting a while.

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  • Unfortunately it is extremely common for guys not to know how to attract and date women. Mostly the parents fault. Parents just let their kids play video games and they don't learn how to interact with other people, especially women. Not really much you can do other than keep meeting new guys. Eventually you'll meet some that know what they're doing and you'll be attracted to.

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  • Interesting how the only thing you mentioned that makes you feel like a girl is to do with money. He gave you his time and talked about his future with you but it's not enough unless he takes out the dollar bills right

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  • "make me feel like a girl at all?"
    In other words you believe being a girl makes you the special one who should be courted.
    I will take a wild guess, maybe men just got tired of that notion by this point.
    If you require me to prove you I'm worth your time, maybe I should require you to do the same.

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  • Why is it always about the girl on dates? It's not even worth it for men anymore. This is why hookup culture is popular

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  • No, you're not being spoiled. The reason for this though is because of exactly what you said: the notion of "equality". It's also in part because many guys today are painting most, if not all women with the same brush.

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  • Oh I do court women on dates. I just feel like I have to do so much and women get to do so little effort in the long run. Bottom down it feels like Im the only one that is heavily investing in this (monetarily or otherwise). Women frequently say they want equality, but they dont. They wanna feel better than normal, get treated as better than normal, they wanna find a guy that is better than normal, but they want you to make the investment. Sometimes it just feels like dating is a Sisyphean task.

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  • Only if you would give your part of the deal back. If you want a guy to be a gentleman, you gotta be a lady.

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  • I don't try to make her feel special until she is my girlfriend. If she's not my girlfriend then why is she special? She's probably just... a girl. Like half the planet. What's special about that? Now, if... IF... she was a girl who I already thought was very special then I would treat her as such but just some cute girl I asked out, no she isn't special and I won't treat her like she is because that's lying.

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  • *sigh* again chivalry has very little to do with women the word your looking for is gentlemanly.

    And no there is nothing wrong with wanting your partner to be that way.

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  • What about the guy's feelings? Your acting like you want him to put you on a pedestal.

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  • Women whining about men not paying on the first date is boring me. Do we have to have these same questions every day.

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  • lets say thats his role
    than what is your to sit there and feel special while holding a whip and telling him
    make me feel special

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  • Well we get yelled at whether or not we do so what's the point?

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  • you are not spoiled if you repay the favor.

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  • If he's optimistic about the potential outcome of the chemistry between you both... y not.. he'll chivalry... I will

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  • YOU GOT TO UNDERSTAND THAT US MEN HAVE BEEN USED AND WE DON'T WANT TO BE USED ANYMORE!!!

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    • 2mo

      I'VE BEEN NOTHING BUT A FUCKING PUNCHING BAG TO WOMEN AND ALL THE HELL THEY WANT TO DO IS LAUGH ABOUT IT I DESERVE TO HAVE FUCKING RESPECT AND SO DO ALL THE OTHER MEN DO TO WE DON'T DESERVE THIS PUNISHMENT YOU WOMEN ARE GIVING TO US PUTTING US MEN ON A GUILT TRIP BECAUSE OF SOME OTHER GIRL ABUSED US AND USED US SAYING THAT WE'RE THE PROBLEM FOR WHY SHE USED US AND ABUSED US DOES THAT GIVE ANYBODY THE RIGHT DO THAT TO US I WANT TO FUCKING KNOW

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    • 2mo

      what the women have done to us is what we tell you those are the BOUNDARIES WE SET and if women can't respect that then it's time to kick those women out of our lives

    • 2mo

      cause we ain't going through that mess again I'd rather die then to relive that pain

  • You can thank feminist for that fam!

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  • What can you do for the guy? Every woman talks about how they want to be courted but don't ever say what they'll do for the guy.

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  • My job is not to make some random woman I am taking on a date feel "special" that's her Dad's job, not mine.

    She gets treated as my equal and while I am happy to offer to pay for the bill I expect her to at least offer to pay half, if she doesn't then I'll immediately cease contact with her once the date has come to its conclusion.

    I don't want a self-entitled woman.

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  • That's outdated

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What Girls Said 3

  • Yes, yes you don sound spoiled

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  • In every date? Yes, you're being a spoilt brat. It's common courtesy to treat the other person too. You have to realize that their time is also precious.

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  • You been seeing wrong guys.. or should i say those guys are not for you.

    All guys I dated, they always insisted to pay, open/hold the door, chivalry all over me. of course there were times I insisted to pay and they appreciated it.. or I held doors for them lol but you know what I'm talking about.. Chivalry is not dead yet ;p

    Either the guy you met was not interested or he just did't know to do chivalry stuffs.

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