My boyfriend and I are 33 and 32. We met online at 31 and 30. We started as friends with benefits, and it progressed into something more. It only started that way because we both had fears of commitment at that time. But we were basically in a relationship with no label for 3 months.
I would go out around groups of other people who are into the same hobbies and interests, and meet new people in general. That way you increase your chances of meeting a single lady through other new mutual friends.
First of all, one guy to another, DO NOT cut yourself short. Women will not run to hook up with you unless you are a star of some sort. And believe me, you do not want anything more from them than what they can offer you in a single bounce. Forget about what you look like, or how you measure up to a porn star. Women really do not care, and the ones that do, you do not want them anyway. Trust me. Sure, any woman would love to have a tall dark hansome man come and sweep them off their feet in fleeting act of romantic drivel. Guys have the same corny thoughts about women. Neither of them are realistic or practical thoughts or dreams. Would it not be nice to meet someone who genuinely cared about you? Someone who would put your hopes and dreams on the same plane as their own? Does it really matter how tall or short, or slim or heavy they are? No. Stop thinking about yourself, and start thinking about how to make your next partner happy, EVERY DAY. You will not only get the hang of it, but so will your partner.
Dont give up! I know it is a lot tougher for guys online dating than it is for girls. I was online dating the same time as a guy friend. He would get a couple of messages a week... I got several a day. Did you try POF?
I never understood why people wasted their time with online dating anyway.
Are you talking to women who are also near/in their 30s or only 25 and under? I know guys who do pretty well online, but they don't try to stretch too young exclusively. If you shoot for 28-40, that ought to be a sweet spot.
Also, you sound intelligent. Match. com has more "young professional" types who may match your interests. POF is horrible.
What about your 'play'? Gigs. You're open, you've had a drink or two, some woman always gives you the eyes. If you have the bollocks to talk to her... Though sometimes the necessity to meet someone can ruin the fun of those things, one should be mindful of that. For me I do crazy stuff from time to time like laughter yoga. You can go on meetup, and find stuff that is social and a bit 'out there', or unusual, or towards your taste, that facilitates socialising. In the laughter yoga, everyone stays for a drink after. It's nigh on impossible to not meet new people. But you have to put yourself out there. Online dating is such junk because men and women use it for validation, rather than anything serious (though maybe the paid ones are better?).
Also, one notion I find helpful, is 'energy'. You could be sabotaging your chances if you're not comfortable in your own skin and 'close up' body language wise in the presence of women you like.
That's a tough one. Bars don't work because they are filled with smokers and alcoholics. Churches won't work either, too hard to get.
Online dating can be hard because of all the people there, bit I admit it has been successfull for me in the past.
What it boils down to, is you need to be brave and speak your mind. Girl at the supermarket cashier cute? Tell her. "Sorry I'm not good at this, but your personality is freaking awesome and you're gorgeous. Let's some midnight bowling this evening!"
How can you not meet women in your mid 30's? You're dead in your prime. Any woman from 25-50 is in your range. Go to a bar, a jazz lounge, a tennis match, an art gallery. There are way more options than online dating. You're the guy, you're time is now.
Same age and same boat as you a year ago bro. One positive thing I noticed is many younger girls will often be more responsive to older men online. However you have to look out for the REASON they are responsive (looking for free dinners, money). Others will assume you are more mature and know how to treat a woman. I prefer that latter.
Overall my dating live in my early/mid 30s is way better than I expected. I met a beautiful, yet hard working smart 21 yr old girl on tinder and we have been dating for 5 months now (we fib to other people we met at the gym). There is still some hope out there, trust me.
Guys I know that age who take it seriously get multiple first dates a week.
You're doing it wrong.
You're also not playing the numbers game. For a guy who actually has his shit together 1 in 15 or 1 in 20 first messages might lead to a date. 1/3 of those a second date.
It's a lot like looking for a job. You don't just send out 4 resumes.