I recently found out that a guy friend of mine may be interested in me as more than a friend. Now he is a lovely guy, and I think if we had a relationship it would be pretty damn good as our personalities are very compatible. Only problem is... at this stage anyway, I don't feel much physical attraction. He's not ugly and not exactly a turn off, but... I'm just not super attracted at this stage. However once we are old and wrinkly anyway does that stuff even matter, is it more important to build off our emotional compatibility, rather than someone who may I may be really attracted too but I just don't have the emotional connection with?
Should I still give it a chance and hope that my attraction grows (which has been known to happen to me in the past)? Or just don't even bother as it could just be seen as leading him on?
You cannot force physical attraction, it's either there or it isn't. If it isn't, it may happen naturally down the road in the future but it's not something that can be remedied by forcing things along.
It's kind of weird... I met my SO online, and I really iked his profile so I clicked yes before I even looked at his photos, and we chatted for a while. And I finally look at his photos and it's like "ok, not bad, not that good though...". And we meet in person and just being around him and how good it felt being with him, made me find him really attractive. I get home, and naturally you're reminiscing and I'm thinking "was he really good looking?" I look at his photos again like "I don't know if I'm feeling it, there's no goddamn moment".
And then the next time I see him I just forget again and since then I don't doubt how gorgeous he is to me. Because he is. I guess the physical attraction grew and I realised how good looking he really is to me, once that emotional bond started.
I think you should still give it a try I mean physically he can improve he can go to the gym, work out, get more muscular etc.
but personalities you can't change those, at least not easily, it's rare to find one that you truly find attractive and connect with that well and are compatible with.
I think you should at least give it a shot, and see what happens, and attraction can and usually does grow once that emotional bond sets in. because you just like being with them so much that you forget the looks thing and they start to become attractive to you alone.
But you won't know if you don't give it a shot, you could be missing out on nothing or you could be missing out on something great, never know until you try.
Maybe if you give him a shot, he might surprise you. Maybe since you've only been just friends so far, he's been holding back. And if you give him a shot, he might turn on the moves and change how you feel about him.
I think it really just depends on how much you like him otherwise. I won't lie, physical attraction is definitely a big part of any healthy relationship. However, it is possible for that attraction to grow after you start dating someone. So, if you think you are compatible in other ways then you can still give him a chance and see what happens. Your feelings may change.
If, after some time, you realize that your attraction hasn't grown, then you will need to tell him. It would be unfair to continue dating when you know the relationship isn't going anywhere. I don't see the harm in at least trying though and giving it a chance.
I think if there is no physical attraction you will struggle when it comes to things in the long run. It will lead to a friendship or just a relationship that will fizzle because you are checking out other people
Let me talk to you about my aunt. She's dating this guy she didn't really find attractive. She gave him a chance and now they have two ADORABLE babies. Seriously they're so cute. They've been dating for years now.
I fell in love with my friend and at first I wasn't physically attracted to him (he's not ugly but he's not super muscular and stuff like most girls like) but as I became more emotionally attached I got physically attracted too. It's like I noticed stuff more, like his eyes and how cute his smile is. So if you're really emotionally connected, physical attraction will come after.
"Hope that my attraction grows" It can happen, indeed. But I wouldn't risk it to be honest.
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