Would u rather a person tell u they had acne scars before you met them when online dating or would you rather find out when you meet them?

Iv been on a dating site and what I do is state in my profile I'm not interested in shallow men.
After chating with someone a long while where I feel there is a good basis of a connection I then exchange numbers and go from there.

Usually before meeting I send them this message...

I would like to mention this is my only flaw... and other then that I'm beautiful! !

***Hey, so I just thought I'd share... In highschool I had bad acne. Which left me with acne scaring on my face. You can't see it in pictures but in person you can. However I don't feel it defines me. As its something I can't help. But I feel like even though I don't normally put it out there... I'd rather tell a person before I meet them so they know and it doesn't seem like im hiding things. Also I realize it's not everyone's cup of tea, to each their own. But I wanna be with someone who will love me for me. And see's people beyond the surface! That why on pof I write... *We come to Love not by finding a Perfect person, but by loving an imperfect person perfectly! * Just thought I'd throw that out there.

I send this only because I had met someone I really liked and he seemed way turned back by it not expecting it because I look so great in pictures. And then asked me about it the next day. Which was awkward and didn't make me feel very good.


Most Helpful Guy

  • It is preferable to be open about your appearance. So you did the right thing.


Most Helpful Girl

  • No... Don't do that.
    Guys know girls wearing make ups covering frakles wrinkles do some magics. Especially guys on online dating site kinda know/expect their date look different than their pictures.
    Like if you going to mention about your acne scars, you should mind as well your wrinkles, picture angles, body hair and stuffs.. I mean no it's just a no.
    I have acne scar on my face/body too. And I don't mention them. Like if a guy compliment my skin, I would just tell him 'it's filter don't be fooled'lol but I don't go ahead tell him the whole history. You just DO NOT point out your flaws like that.
    If a guy noticed your scars, and didn't like you bc that, that's that.
    Guys might not even be noticing if you never mention it to them.
    And just post a real photo of you with out filters and stuffs. Then you don't need to worry, explain. If a picture doesn't catch your scars that means your scars aren't that bad.
    Anyways not only about your acne scar, you just don't mention your flaws to a guy you are dating like that. That's not sexy. That's not a smart move at all.

    • 1mo

      I had a plan to meet a guy Saturday whom I liked a lot so far and sent him that message. ... he responded hrs later to say...

      Thanks for being honest and up front. I'm still cleaning and doing the moving stuff so I'll let you know when I'm done.***

      I didn't respond ad he never sent me a message again.

      It's ashame that he is that shallow as he was always saying he wants communication etc


What Guys Said 1

  • Personally, I wouldn't even mention it before meeting in person.


What Girls Said 3

  • Whatever makes him feel more comfortable , but I'd prefer him to tell me. Only for the fact that when we arrange to meet up he may be apprehensive about turning up if he is insecure about his scars. So to prevent that concern he may have I'd rather he mentioned it. Then he wouldn't have to worry if I'd be turned off or not... which I wouldn't be

    The scars wouldn't be a deal- breaker though. I wouldn't take it into consideration when making the decision to date him or not

  • I don't care if they have them. I'm too old to worry about dumb shit like acne scars.

  • Tell me beforehand