This is anonymous so be honest! Guys, do you really like it when a girl asks you to hang out?

Pretty simple. I'm debating whether or not to ask a guy to hang out and wondering if guys just say that, or if they really mean it. I've noticed a lot of guys tell girls on this site to take the initiative and ask the guy out, but how would you like it, personally?

As a side note, I may have to do this through text or a phone call. Just a casual "Hey this movie looks good do you want to see it with me?" ONLY because I hardly ever see him in person and when I do he is surrounded by people or either super busy and I can't ask him something personal like that. How terrible would a text like that be? It's not like I'm proposing!

  • I would love it if a girl asked me to hang out with her and wouldn't mind if it was through a text message.
    75% (33)97% (70)89% (103)Vote
  • I would love it if a girl asked me to hang out with her but I would hate it if it was through a text message.
    11% (5)3% (2)6% (7)Vote
  • I would feel uncomfortable if a girl asked me to hang out with her in person OR through a text message.
    14% (6)0% (0)5% (6)Vote
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Updates:
Oh, and if you have any suggestions for me, please tell me! Thanks!

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Here's an analogue to this scenario: I'm in a dancing society, and we meet often on campus to swing dance. Usually the girls just sit around waiting for a guy to ask them to dance. Of course this is what I usually do yet I get tired of it after a while, but whenever a girl asks me to dance I'm so much more into it! It's such a pleasant surprise... and the same goes for hanging out with girls! Guys are expected to make so many moves it becomes tiring and discouraging. I can't imagine any guy who wouldn't enjoy being asked by a girl to a movie unless his ego was the size of a blimp. And in that case he isn't worth the trouble.

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What Guys Said 16

  • Actually, as a more specific answer, I wouldn't mind if I were asked out, and I wouldn't be upset if it were through text... However, I would prefer if a woman asked me out in person. I know that it's tough to do, (I do it from time to time, so why not the girl do it in person) but I might not ever understand that it's intended as a date. If it were done by text, Facebook or e-mail, it's kind of like saying, Hey, we should hang out some time. That doesn't convey much interest to me personally.

    Depending on the person, I might also wonder if it's fake or a joke until I could be sure (by hearing her voice) or talking to her in person, but then I'd do my best to clear it up.

    Now if you're just wanting to hang out with the guy (as a wait and see approach), phone or in person tends to still be the best, though texts are acceptable. Just know that the chance he might not see it goes way up when you do it over text. And if you have his text, you might as well just ask him over the phone. You can still recover easily enough in the slight chance he may not remember you...

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    • I really appreciate your long and thoughtful answer! I understand what you mean about it being better to ask someone to hang out in person, but I'm going for casual in this instance. My hope is that he enjoys hanging out with me one on one and then actually ask me out himself if he wants to. I have to wait until I actually get his number so that's another issue...

      Thank you again for your thoughts!

  • Most guys are a little shy and we LOVE to get this approach. Most of us are appreciative of the attention and we don't see anything terrible about you texting us,..for a change.

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  • WHO WOULDN'T BE COOL WITH THIS!? You already knew what we would say to this question! so many girls pass up so much good opportunities simply because they stand there and wait and sometimes we're either too shy or too busy to go through the formalities that we just leave you standing there. if you want something. go get it.

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    • I honesty didn't know how many guys would be cool with a girl initiating hanging out, especially through a text message! I guess a lot of girls have this issue, or we would start asking more guys out haha. I just feel like I don't want to be the dominant one in the relationship, if that makes sense.

      Thanks so much for your answers, everyone!

    • I agree with you (question asker). I asked a guy out for the first time a month ago and it was going to be like a one time exception thing just because I knew he was shy. But this makes me realize that if I want something I should go after it. Though it does worry me that I'll have to continue to be the dominating force.

    • And see, I'm just naturally a more passive/submissive person, so once I GET the guy, I'll just fall back into that role most likely and we will at least be equal in the relationship. Unless that's what a girl wants, I think that once she and the guy are going out he should step up and be dominant. I don't know if I could stay in a relationship where I was the dominating partner, but to get things started I think I could suck it up and just go for it.

      How did things go with the guy you asked?

  • Having a girl ask me to hang out is like a dream, since I'm incredibly shy and have trouble talking and asking girls out.

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    • What if it was a girl you didn't like?

      You would still like being asked out?

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    • If she's someone I didn't know too well, I'd explain to her that I don't really know you too well, or well enough to say I am interested in her like she is in me, and am willing to try to get to know you better. If it's someone I just flat out wasn't interested in, I'd tell her that I'm flattered she asks, but I really don't feel the same way.

    • Oh, I see. That makes sense, and you explained it well. It's encouraging because now it seems like a girl is not very likely to be rejected by a guy, as long as they're single lol. Makes me feel a little better about possibly asking the guy I like to hang out the next time I see him!

      Thanks so much for your super long and explanatory answer!

  • I'm glad if this happens.

    You actually know that you have chances on her and you're not chasing down her for nothing.

    Also, it breaks ice. It gives some kind of courage to get closer to that girl. It's similar to feeling that somebody cares about you (well, that somebody is interested in you in this case).

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  • It's a huge turn on for me when a girl takes the initiative to ask a guy out. If there was a girl that I didn't even think about asking me out who did, there is a good chance I might say yes just for the fact that she's confident enough to do so.

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  • I love it when a girl asks me to hang out with her, especially if I like her more than a friend. It shows that could possibly be interested in me as well. Nothing is worse than chasing after a girl that has no interest in you and just wants to f*** with you and see how much she can mess with you :( I've been down that road

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  • I wouldn't mind if she asked me out, and I wouldn't mind too much if it was through text, but I would STRONGLY recommend doing it in person/over the phone.

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  • totally fine

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  • i honestly do find anything wrong with a girl asking me to hang out

    why do you think there is anything wrong with a girl asking a guy out?

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    • Because society tells girls they are supposed to sit and wait for a guy to come to them. But I'm glad that the huge majority of guys that answered this poll said they didn't have a problem with it so that's good! I hope lots of girls see this and start going after what they want!

    • That would make life SO much easier

  • This is literally every man's dream scenario.

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    • And here I am thinking that it took away the fun of the "chase" for the guy and made him feel less manly? Haha. This lack of communication between guys and gals sucks. I love this site.

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    • As long as you don't dominate everything, then it's cool. If you initiate, that usually gets us going. Just a personal example, I hardly talk to girls like that because I always see them talking to other guys (even if its just conversation) and I sort of back out. But if she were to start talking to me, then its like "Wow, she's talking to ME over those other guys." It feels nice to know that she's giving me her attention. So yeah, don't assume the role of the guy, but give the shy ones a nudge

    • I'm definitely not looking to assume the role of the guy here, just get things going! Thanks for your example, Brando! So what I'm getting is, basically a guy will never hate it if a girl starts a conversation with him?

  • I would prefer it in person, but it really doesn't matter. She's still asking me, so who am I to complain?

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  • Hello, this may be an odd request but I'm going through a similar situation. I know there is probably a 1% chance your the girl I 'm thinling of but what I'm gettin at, if you can give me your fisrt initial & maybe the initial of who your thinnking of. In the slim chance you are I would like to take the steps to contact her & relieve her of the burden. you never know right, thanx.

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  • I don't care how I'm asked. I'd just love to see a girl put some effort and initiative. It'll let me know that the interest isn't one-sided and that my efforts aren't futile. I really wish the girl I'm interested in would do this, but she never will.

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    • Yeah I'm sure a lot of guys wish the girl's they are interested in would ask them out, but I'm not even sure he likes me back. We've only had a few encounters, not much obvious flirting because I get really nervous and just talk and ask a lot of questions about them. But I bet I'm the one still thinking about him and he's not thinking about me lol.

    • Yeah, I think it's the same with me except genders reversed.

    • It sucks, huh haha. Maybe we should both just suck it up and ask the other person to hang out. It's better than siting here wondering if they like us or not, imagining they do and then finding out they don't and feeling crushed. Better to get it over with. Either something really good comes from it or we don't lose anything at all!

  • I'd prefer it if it was in person because it would allow me to pick up on some non-verbal cues and make me feel more comfortable. That said, if she asked me out by text it wouldn't sway my decision, especially if she didn't have a good chance to ask me out in person.

    That said, do it! I'd love it for a girl to ask me out!

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  • I would love it for a change. Asking him to go to a movie through a text would be fine, especially if he already likes you. Even if he didn't he will be thrilled you thought of him, I would. Good luck

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