Including websites and links.
The reason why I did this was because I've had suspicions of my boyfriend cheating on me. My inutition was right. he would make excuses to not see me, he would hide his phone etc. that's when I knew
He has been emailing his ex for the past month- and he's using dating websites.. It's disgusting to think he can lie to my face and pretend it's all good in front of me. I am basically past the point of no return ,, I've been waiting patiently for him to own up to his fucking disgusting behavior...
I want to destroy him just like what he did to me. I want him to suffer and regret the day he did this to me. I don't know what to do next? I can't take this manipulation anymore ! It's destroyed me- I want to beat the living shit out of him and his ex girlfriend
Today I told my best friend about this and she keeps telling me to calm down but I'm so fucking angry at this point -
Most Helpful Guy
Your boyfriend is a dick, putting it lightly. If you didn't trust him, why did you pursue the relationship? Why did you even bother with the weirdness, manipulation, resentment, installing crap on his PC? The relationship was surely a joke before it reached that stage... If something was awry, you should have left him earlier. Intimacy, trust, communication. One would hope a relationship is formed on those things. If you're not 'feeling it', fuck it off, I say. Trust yourself.
Why did you get with him? And what is your view of relationships in general? Did you have things in the past that gave you trust issues? Your furious anger, which is of course, in a certain sense, justifiable, indicates that this has some aspects that may have their roots in past relationships.
What would be the benefit of 'destroying him'? Why does he and his ex even deserve your energy? Those emotions will indeed consume you. If the relationship is dead, then why not just tell him it's over and move on? I don't understand, which is sort of implicit, how you could continue to have a relationship with someone when you have such violent emotions permeating you. Just deal with it, decisively, hopefully without killing him :) If it's finished, it's finished, there's really no need for the manipulation.
The thing about anger, is you have to understand, that it is righteous to abe ngry. The way I deal with anger, if I literally internally vocalise it. I tell myself, 'I'm angry, I'm furious, I'm pissed off, fucking hell, etc' I let it all out. Otherwise, it can work out in your subconscious. You might have to do this when no one is in or a secluded space, for obvious reasons. Keep on asking yourself why are you angry. Then something comes up, ask yourself about that too. It's important to understand your thought processes as best as possible. It's good to do this in your own private space. Of course, you have to deal with him, as best you can. But the benefit of doing it privately, is that it all goes out into 'space'. You may do something you regret if you allow yourself to be wholly consumed by anger. Just remember that it is justifiable and understandable that you're angry. But try and retain the understanding that it is part of the subjective experience, and things in the past that you have experienced will be feeding into it and kneading any insecurities. First and foremost, end the relationship, surely. Maybe spend some time alone to figure your head out?1
Most Helpful Girl
I get how you feel, trust me I do. But also trust me when I say that it's not worth it. It'll feel good to tell him off, but then once the anger and hate fade, you'll look back and wonder why you even bothered putting so much effort into someone who didn't give a shit about you. It's not worth you spending any more time on this guy.
If you want you can do some long drawn out thing where you make profiles on the sites he's on and wait until you guys possibly match, or you pretend to send him an email you "meant to send to someone else" saying some shit like "I can't wait to see you this weekend" and tell him you're going out, or post shit on social media, but it's just going to blow into a huge argument that I promise is not worth your time, because he already doesn't care about you. He'll only make it a huge thing about you lying or going through his stuff or making shit up, but he's not going to feel bad about it.
If you absolutely must, just slowly take your stuff, if you have any, and remove any traces of you in his life, and then when that's done, just drop the bomb. Be a straight shooter, send a text, "Hi. You're a piece of shit. I know you've been talking to your ex and I know you're on dating sites again. You've disrespected me and our relationship and I never want to hear from you again." and either block him or wait for him to say something (I know that's tempting) but don't get him get more than a few words in before you cut him off. Don't let him explain himself, don't let him make excuses.1