I installed a non detectable program into my boyfriends computer which will track every email he sends and I will get a copy of it, including... ?

Including websites and links.

The reason why I did this was because I've had suspicions of my boyfriend cheating on me. My inutition was right. he would make excuses to not see me, he would hide his phone etc. that's when I knew

He has been emailing his ex for the past month- and he's using dating websites.. It's disgusting to think he can lie to my face and pretend it's all good in front of me. I am basically past the point of no return ,, I've been waiting patiently for him to own up to his fucking disgusting behavior...

I want to destroy him just like what he did to me. I want him to suffer and regret the day he did this to me. I don't know what to do next? I can't take this manipulation anymore ! It's destroyed me- I want to beat the living shit out of him and his ex girlfriend

Today I told my best friend about this and she keeps telling me to calm down but I'm so fucking angry at this point -


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Your boyfriend is a dick, putting it lightly. If you didn't trust him, why did you pursue the relationship? Why did you even bother with the weirdness, manipulation, resentment, installing crap on his PC? The relationship was surely a joke before it reached that stage... If something was awry, you should have left him earlier. Intimacy, trust, communication. One would hope a relationship is formed on those things. If you're not 'feeling it', fuck it off, I say. Trust yourself.

    Why did you get with him? And what is your view of relationships in general? Did you have things in the past that gave you trust issues? Your furious anger, which is of course, in a certain sense, justifiable, indicates that this has some aspects that may have their roots in past relationships.

    What would be the benefit of 'destroying him'? Why does he and his ex even deserve your energy? Those emotions will indeed consume you. If the relationship is dead, then why not just tell him it's over and move on? I don't understand, which is sort of implicit, how you could continue to have a relationship with someone when you have such violent emotions permeating you. Just deal with it, decisively, hopefully without killing him :) If it's finished, it's finished, there's really no need for the manipulation.

    The thing about anger, is you have to understand, that it is righteous to abe ngry. The way I deal with anger, if I literally internally vocalise it. I tell myself, 'I'm angry, I'm furious, I'm pissed off, fucking hell, etc' I let it all out. Otherwise, it can work out in your subconscious. You might have to do this when no one is in or a secluded space, for obvious reasons. Keep on asking yourself why are you angry. Then something comes up, ask yourself about that too. It's important to understand your thought processes as best as possible. It's good to do this in your own private space. Of course, you have to deal with him, as best you can. But the benefit of doing it privately, is that it all goes out into 'space'. You may do something you regret if you allow yourself to be wholly consumed by anger. Just remember that it is justifiable and understandable that you're angry. But try and retain the understanding that it is part of the subjective experience, and things in the past that you have experienced will be feeding into it and kneading any insecurities. First and foremost, end the relationship, surely. Maybe spend some time alone to figure your head out?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I get how you feel, trust me I do. But also trust me when I say that it's not worth it. It'll feel good to tell him off, but then once the anger and hate fade, you'll look back and wonder why you even bothered putting so much effort into someone who didn't give a shit about you. It's not worth you spending any more time on this guy.

    If you want you can do some long drawn out thing where you make profiles on the sites he's on and wait until you guys possibly match, or you pretend to send him an email you "meant to send to someone else" saying some shit like "I can't wait to see you this weekend" and tell him you're going out, or post shit on social media, but it's just going to blow into a huge argument that I promise is not worth your time, because he already doesn't care about you. He'll only make it a huge thing about you lying or going through his stuff or making shit up, but he's not going to feel bad about it.

    If you absolutely must, just slowly take your stuff, if you have any, and remove any traces of you in his life, and then when that's done, just drop the bomb. Be a straight shooter, send a text, "Hi. You're a piece of shit. I know you've been talking to your ex and I know you're on dating sites again. You've disrespected me and our relationship and I never want to hear from you again." and either block him or wait for him to say something (I know that's tempting) but don't get him get more than a few words in before you cut him off. Don't let him explain himself, don't let him make excuses.

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What Guys Said 26

  • Awesome surveillance operation you have here. I'm sure the NSA would be proud lol

    If you were married to him this may have benefited you more since if you fathered evidence to prove what he did is wrong you can take half of his assets.

    He should have manned up long ago and be up front and honest about how he feels about you and the relationship he had with you and just ended it instead of going behind your back using dating websites and communicating with his ex. From the looks of it, he had been using you as a "rebound" from the very beginning of your relationship with him, as he really does not appear to have been over his ex at all. He had been playing you and lying to you from day one.

    It's time to make plans to ditch him forever and heal from your emotional wounds and start all over again.

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  • Anon, I have been in the same situation. And as much as you may want it to make your currently living mission to make his life a living hell. Dont and I repeat dont do anything rational that he could then hold against you in the future. Cheaters are pricks and will overlook the fact that they were dishonest and will use anything against you. Be the bigger person and realise he isn't worth the time or effort. Start going out. Start exercising and really pushing your body's limits to see results. Start eating healthy. Take up a new habit and overall place your mind on other things than that pathetic man I have to share this gender with.

    Soon a week will go by. then a month. and then you'll find yourself wondering why you ever let yourself get to that point. Trust me.. You will come out stronger and better.

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  • 1. What you did is illegal. You better delete this shit before you break-up.

    2. Going for revenge will just make you feel even more empty afterwards.

    3. Don't waste any more time on him. Neither emotionally nor physically. Just break-up and ignore him for the rest of your life.

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  • Oh please, do something in anger that will put you in jail. Show you have as much judgement as he has.

    You should just leave and move on with your life.

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  • YOU ARE BREAKING THE LAW!

    You also have a SECOND problem. You can't use the evidence you gathered. Go ahead and confront him. If he has any intelligence he can take his Computer to an I. T. Specialist for Forensic Analysis and have evidence to use against you!

    YOU ARE LOOKING A POTENTIAL JAIL TIME.

    www.rosen.com/.../

    news.nationalpost.com/.../u-s-officials-decide-that-steathgenie-an-app-used-to-spy-on-the-phone-calls-of-spouses-is-not-so-cool-and-arrest-developer

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  • What's your problem, lady? So he cheated. I do not understand why you won't just walk away instead of going bat shit crazy... see these are the stories that people tell other people about and when they looks at you they run away. " I remember this one time" starting to ring a bell.

    How about you just take down the software and move forward. And what will happen if ou don't, you ask? Cause an argument that would end up the same result with another bat shit crazy story of another women being a total asshole to a guy.

    Your hurt? We get it, but is it really worth the story?

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  • You're a fucking psycho.

    I'm glad he's fucking around on you. You deserve it.

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  • Good luck not getting arrested for the violating the Digital Privacy Act.

    Federal prison time is harsher than state, just so you know... and I believe you have to do the whole time.

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  • Go see a shrink.

    If you don't get your psychological problems figured out, you'll find yourself cheated on over and over again.

    It's a classic case of chicken or the egg. Does your bfs go cheat because they're fed up with your bat shit crazy, or are you bat shit crazy because they cheat?

    Either way, get your bat shit crazy fixed.

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    • 2mo

      To blame her for the cheating, with no in-depth supporting knowledge of their relationship, is really tacky, careless, rude, and disgusting. @Asker This is essentially a worthless answer. Don't believe that this is your fault and that you will "find yourself cheated on over and over" just because some random asshole online doesn't know how to give a valuable answer. It's not your fault that he failed to practice loyalty, integrity, and decency.

    • Show All
    • 2mo

      @MellowMindedMadness LOL... You can wrap up bullshit in a thousand layers of niceness, but in the end, you're still a cunt.

      @asker is a stalker who did something illegal and has shown intention to go and cause physical harm to people. So, you can stay up on that high horse of yours as much as you want, you are still the person who is defending criminals, domestic abusers and stalkers. Period. End of story.

    • 2mo

      @tarvold get fucked

  • act maturely and dump his stupid ass. anger is never good, trust me.
    he's a asshole, just dump his stupid ass and stay strong.

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  • I am a horrible person and I have 1.2 inch cock erect.
    Just making sure that we don't date even by mistake in the future.

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  • Bunny boiler alert.

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  • Just dump him, you silly moo. Revenge is only going to make things worse. Cut your losses and leave.

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  • That's kind of crazy and psycho. Just do the calm and bigger person thing and dump Him, karma will get to him sooner or later. Why put so much work into someone who is a prick?

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  • You can be arrested...
    I dont get it why young people get in serious relationships and expect to be forever loyal to each other.
    Just move on, you are not marry, dont get arrested because of a fuck boy.
    And you came out like a stupid bitch out of this story. He was cheating on you but you straight up violated his privacy. You are just his girlfriend u dont have the right to get into his personal life, even if he is cheating on you.
    Grow up and move on.

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  • Just dump him , you are torturing yourself , a woman in your age group can EASILY find another guy !!

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  • Thats not legal without his consent. This is a spyware virus. This is not legal.

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    • 2mo

      What you have done is beyond despicable/deceitful, far, far worse than what you are purporting his actions to have been.
      You are very obviously a very revengeful and vindictive person, certainly one that I would hate to meet, even on a good day.

  • My question is, what are you doing out of the kitchen?

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  • There's only one thing for it: cut off his willy!

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  • You put spyware on his computer?

    I think you're the one who needs help.

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  • keep wasting time with him

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  • Just move on, what your doing is illegal, you can't just spy on him without his consent

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  • You fuckin druggo, is what you must be to think this is a good decision... good luck get groomed in jail

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  • Both of you act sickening.
    Stay together, please, that way there's only one couple destroyed.
    If both start over with another partner there will be two bad couples instead of one.

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  • Just move on. Waiting around all angry and stuff is waisted time that you can be spending with somone who isn't a cheater.

    Do what you want.

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  • This doesn't happen when you date an introvert, shy, or nice guy. You got played.

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    • 2mo

      Don't try to make her personal issue all about your desire to whine about not being dated as an "introvert, shy, or nice guy"

What Girls Said 7

  • I understand why you are angry and hurt beyond words. You have every single right to be. Intense anger is probably the only thing that's numbing your intense pain right now. What's going to be good for you years from now while you decide your next move is to just cry and be honest about your pain. It's harder, but it's better for you in the long run.

    Making him regret the day he did this to you and destroying him is only going to make him feel like he dodged a bullet and make a good choice in having romantic back-up plans. It might make you feel better for a little while, but it won't address and heal the real problem. It's only going to make him feel glad that you are no longer apart of his life and give him good reason to slander and defame you. Beating the shit out of him and his ex girlfriend will only give them both the power to ruin your future and destroy your possibilities should they decide to press charges and perhaps even sue.

    The only way you can win with someone like him in this situation is by removing yourself from his life, his mess, and allowing his own deep lack of morality destroy him and his life from the inside out.

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    • 2mo

      @Tarvold Excuse me? There’s no greater cunt than whatever mess of a female raised such a failure of a 34 year old man. Is your ego really that fragile and pathetic to where you need to attempt degrading me for simply informing you that your answer is not helpful and useful? That’s pitiful. Usually men who are so eager to talk down to women on the computer would get their ass handed to them in real life if they actually stepped to another man.

      You make massive assumptions about this stranger without asking her one detailed question and pretty much just sit their accusing her as if you're perfect in relationships which is why I informed you how useless your answer is. So don’t lash out at me for calling you out on your ineffective, pathetic, failure to understand things outside of your tiny, small-minded, psychologist wanna be perspective. YOU are the one on a high horse sitting up here judging this woman then judging me for informing you that the way you’re speaking to her is wrong.

    • 2mo

      @Tarvold So next time you try to call someone a cunt for simply keeping it real about how little value their is in your mouth, don't forget that there's no filthier, nasty cunt than the one you came out of. Your mother fails as a woman if she created something as disgusting as you.

  • Don't calm down nor repress anger. Express it or it'll consume you I guess.

    You can wait for months if you want, he won't ever own up to his behaviour. What he's done requieres a very low level of misgiving, so don't expect him to suddenly start developping qualm.

    I think it's time to tell him what you found out but without seeking revenge. That would be putting too much energy on someone who's already taken much more than what he deserved from you. By doing so, you'd end up feeling even more used than you already are.

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  • Just ghost him... don't talk to him anymore don't email him don't text him don't respond to any of his calls. No communication with him and show him that you've had enough. Wanting to hurt him isn't going to solve anything it's only going to hurt you in the end. It's understandable that you would be upset about something like this but why be upset over someone who doesn't care enough about you

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  • Personally i would just stop all communication with him cold turkey. He just proved he ain't shit.

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    • 2mo

      I said the same thing... she should ghost him... don't even tell him why...

  • Well I sincerely hope that he dumps your sorry fucking ass when he finds out.

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    • 2mo

      Of course you take his side you fucking rat

  • Why didn't you just confront him about this as soon as you became aware of it? It sucks, and I'm really sorry. I know you're mad, but you'll have to ask yourself if this is really going to help you move on?

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  • i know how you feel...

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