Is it wrong for me to date two guys at once?

I’ve been dating Guy1 for about 3 months. We began sleeping together a month ago. We’re dating, but not exclusive. We really like each other however, lately, I feel like I’ve been the one putting in all the effort and I don’t feel like I’m much of a priority. I’ve initiated the last 3 dates. I guess my belief is that because he's "got me" he knows he can see me anytime he wants.

Enter Guy2. We meet at a BBQ 2 weeks ago through a mutual friend and we instantly click. We end up texting, and he asks me out for a drink next week to which I agree on impulse. Thing is, I don’t feel guilty. I refuse to be an option, and when someone takes me for granted, that pushes me away. I don’t want to put all my eggs in one basket with Guy1; I’m not going to initiate any more dates with him.

I know I may sound manipulative but I’m too proud to say anything to Guy1. I’ll come across as needy, and it’s not like we’re official.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Your question is misleading at best. Let me clarify, it is NEVER right to string along someone with whom you are having sexual relations, EVER.
    If you want to date multiple people that is fine, but once the date turns intimate, it is no longer a date. You have shared the most private part of yourself with another, therefore ending the courting session transforming into an intimate relationship. So in by doing so, it is wrong to involve other potential courters.
    Just my opinion

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You are Merely "Playing the female field" here, dear, as a free Bird, so Good... I don't want to put all my eggs in one basket.
    keep Going and Flowing until you are sure one day, One of them May or May not be the Right One for you.
    You are Not official nor Exclusive with Neither one of them, hun, so Keep this Under your Wing when it comes to Any... Fling. No one has to Know about the other Joe.
    Keep those 'Options' open, and you may Dump them Both one Day, when Mr. Right comes your Way and Treats you like a Queen Bee.
    Good luck. xx

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    • Thanks for the Like, hun. You are only this Cheat Sheet, if you are In a Relationship with One of them, hun. I am not seeing it. xx

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    • I only "See" Jealousy on someone's End, my Friend, Ignore them. Some lonely souls out there. You are doing okay, hun. Enjoy the boy.
      Number#1 doesn't sound like he wants Real Relationship, but if you feel he is not the deal, the ball and all is in your court. xxoo

    • Thank you for the Vote of Confidence. xx

What Guys Said 24

  • doesn't sound like 1 is interested that much. so just tell him that you aren't feeling loved and that he is in it and that you found someone else you are going to date. be open and honest, don't play around that is terrible as you look bad and he feels bad (maybe). and your reputation suffers.

    the #1 thing people shoudl get out of this web site is to be open and honest with people as i is so confusing with the "openness" in society, there is no need to hurt people, lie, cheat, etc..

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  • Rather hypocritical to "not want to be an option", but "don't feel guilty" about having two guy options.

    #GirlBye

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    • What you're doing is not bad because you're not cheating,

      but the hypocrisy of not wanting to be in same position you are putting the two guys into... is still apalling.

  • If your at a point of having sex with both, then you should tell both of them and make sure they know your dating and having sex with other people. Otherwise that is a deception that many guys will dump you immediately when they find out. If I am with someone I only date her. If we get to the point of having sex (which is usually date 3), then I would never want sex if she is fucking someone else. That is just gross and nasty.

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  • Technically you aren't cheating since you haven't agreed to be exclusive but I think its trashy and potentially insulting if I was the second guy. I would instantly dump a girl if I knew she was taking things slow with me and having me pay to take her out while she is already sleeping with a different guy on the side.
    No thanks 😝

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  • So, you'd be perfectly happy if one of those guys were dating other women?

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    • In all honesty, I've never been in this situation before. I came out of a 5 year longterm relationship about 6 months ago, and I know what cheating feels like. Dating is all new to me, and in preference, I'd rather date someone who isn't seeing anyone else. Things are not shaping up with the first guy, and it will naturally fizzle out and we'll probably end up being friends. I cba with any drama, asking why he's not treating me like a priority - I shouldn't have to feel like this when we've only dated for 3 months. Unto which, this will give some leeway to start seeing Guy2, if all goes well with him. I'm not putting all my eggs into one basket and getting hurt.

    • It sounds like guy 1 has every right to not treat you like a priority. But you're still being hypocritical, because you admitted you don't want them to date other women.

  • Women are like monkeys, they have a firm grip on their next branch before swinging from the previous one

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  • This is perfect example why i started to ignore girls, reason why i give my best to evade anything connected to dating. Why i dont want to have girlfriend and this is probably reason why i will stay single for a life. Maybe i will even start hating girls eventually.

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  • well, you're using em like it or not. no, its not right.
    dont treat people like shoes you can put on an off, that's just rude and insensitive especially for a girl

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  • Break up with Guy 1 before sleeping with Guy 2. Guy 2 will wait for you to break up first, otherwise he's asking to be cheated on.
    Does Guy 2 know about Guy 1?

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  • he doesn't think he has you... he just doesn't know he has competition. Ditch guy 2 and tell guy 1 how you feel

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  • When we do it we get thrown knives at.

    When girls do it "is it wrong?" Double standards.

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  • It is if they don't know about it

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  • I think its wrong in my opinion.

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  • Replace guy 1 with a New Guy 1

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  • Why do boys have all the fun😊 if you like just continue it.

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  • I suppose let me put it another way, if you heard of one of your male friends doing this with two females, what would you think?

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    • Pretty normal to be honest, plus its their own business on how they date.

  • This is why i don't want to date women anymore. I'm so tired of you girls. I try and be sweet and nice and listen to my dates and then women like you reason like this. I'm actually sick and disgusted. Where are all the great women? What happened to the values of strong women from the past. Sorry to say but women like you shame all that the great women f the past fought for. You know i always believed in my heart that women would be the best part of life. *feeling disappointed and sad.

    I should stay single and not get involved in this mess.

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    • If a guy did this, what would you call him?

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    • They're old :)

      Don't give up. Take half your estimated dating time to meet men, then pick the first one you meet that's better than the best you met in the first half. It's maths. And it works both ways, guys!

    • @goaded I know :) times have changed (sadly)

  • WHORE

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  • Yeah but you should then tell the other guy. It's wrong to consider someone else's time and life not important. Would you like it if he did that to you?

    Especially if it means other people holding off on options.

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  • Dating maybe but I wouldn't sleep with both, then you need to make a decision

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  • You go gurrrrl!!!

    Seriously, you can date as many guys as you like so long as you haven't promised exclusivity to any of them.

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  • Ony sluts like you do that... What's the point in dating of all you wana do is sleep around... Why not just stay single and sleep around

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    • By the way right now you are technically cheating on both of them... I hope the guy you will finally settle with will cheat on you too that you get a taste of your own medicine you slut

    • Aha :). Thanks for your opinion.

    • Huh hoe

  • It is ok to date more than one guy at a time as long as they are both aware of it from the start, otherwise it is cheating. You can have multiple boyfriends though and it is ok.

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  • I think it's sad that a 25-29 year old woman has to ask a question as such as this. You're single and can do whatever you want.

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What Girls Said 10

  • Personally I wouldn't. If I dated a guy then I'd be hoping it would develop further. I'd feel like i was betraying him if I dated another guy at the same time. Besides, all my focus and attention would be for the guy I was dating, because I'd want to get to know him more , so we could pursue a potential relationship together

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  • That fact that you can't even tell the first guy proves you shouldn't even be in a relationship. Ok so what if you guys aren't official yet? If you wanna date someone else at least have yhe courage to tell the other guy "hey I feel like I'm the only one doing anything, so I wanna date someone else". Stop acting like just because you feel a certain way your pride should matter. No the other guys feelings should matter over stupid pride that you shouldn't have in the first place as there is nothing to be prideful of

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  • I guess technically since you guys are official it's not cheating. However I'm one of those people that feel like I'm cheating if I'm talking to 2 different guys at once. There's guys who go on three dates in one night so you aren't doing anything wrong.

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  • I think by 3 months you should have decided whether you're exclusive or not, and talked about it... if you haven't, and you like Guy 2 better, why don't you just end things with the first guy? Sounds like it's not really going anywhere anyways.

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  • If you're not exclusively dating either of them then it's fine. If you consider guy 1 your boyfriend because you've been seeing each other for three months then it's probably a bad idea to be seeing another guy.

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    • Thanks for the opinion! No I don't consider him my boyfriend, and I think it's wise to keep your options open.

    • I agree. You should definitely not limit yourself to one person until you know you're ready for marriage in my opinion

  • when you're not feeling it with guy one then why not have the courage to end it with him before you go out with the second one.. you can even say that someone else asked you out and you said yes..

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  • Wrong? Theoretically no, morally yes

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  • You haven't agreed to be exclusive, so what's the problem?

    Although you don't sound happy with guy 1. Why don't you just dump him?

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  • Yes.

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  • You're a cheater in the making. I don't get why people have a problem being honest and actually TALKING things out. If you felt Guy 1 was giving any effort to the relationship, why didn't you talk about it with him? Because for all we know, he may not think anything is wrong. What if he's too shy or nervous to suggest or say something totally wrong that would offend you? Maybe he's really trying to go at this slow. But you absolutely say nothing, then there's no way people can know how you feel or address a problem. If Guy 1 does not know you are dating other people, then you're technically cheating on him, and it's he that deserves better, not you.

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