I've had a hard time finding someone I connect and want to be in a relationship with. I'm starting to realize that it may be me and some of my not so favorable qualities. Here are some of them:
- I speak my mind. I don't hold back if something is bothering me or if I don't like something.
- I don't sugarcoat. People can miss what you're saying if you're not direct.
- I'm not very affectionate. I don't like PDA. I'll hold hands but hugging and kissing in front of people creeps me out. When I get home I like to relax after the day is over. I love the company but I don't want someone all over me before I can unwind. After that I'll be more receptive.
- I won't be sure I like you after hanging a few times. I need to get to know someone before I can decide I like them. I don't want my feelings to be clouded with lust and once it fades I'm disappointed the more I learn about the person.
- I don't change for anyone. Yeah if I was an asshole or doing things that negatively impact my life. But I love who I am and I shouldn't have to change any part of myself just to please someone.
- I don't think I need to be with the person everyday. I like having days by myself or with my friends and family. Just because we're dating doesn't mean the other people in my life lose out time with me. I'm a strong believer that it's not hard to make time for everyone, you just have to WANT to make time.
- If someone is angry with me I won't push them to talk to me. Instead I give them space. I only approach when things have calmed down and we can have a conversation. Sometimes that means we'll go days without talking. I don't like someone yelling at me or screaming matches.
- I'm 21. I want to be completely independent, done with college and have a job before I think about getting married or having children. I want to know I can support myself before I can do that with anyone else.
I don't think there's something wrong with me but I'm starting to feel I'm turning people off.
Most Helpful Guy
Not very affectionate is a deal breaker for me. I want to feel desired. Lack of affection usually translates into lack of desire and lack of care.
You not pushing people to talk to you might be wise most of the time, but sometimes I'd love if someone actively wanted to talk to me about how bad we left things. It would make me think they care.
Getting to know the person is a great idea - I try my best to do the same. Still, how disapointed are you as you get to know a potential date isn't what you expected?
You speak your mind. How brutal are you? No joke, some people are straight up savage when telling the truth. If that's the cass then it would be a deal breaker for me.1
Most Helpful Girl
Don't listen to that idiot below; I don't think there's anything wrong with you at all. You're self-assured, confident, sensibly cautious and you know what you want. There's nothing wrong with that AT ALL and that does NOT make you frigid. Believe me. Don't ever change who you are just to please others or some guy. If no guy can accept that, then he's simply not the one for you.
The reason I say all this, is because I'm very similar. What I've discovered, is that its good to have a guy who understands and respects who you are, and is quite similar; as in, they're self-assured enough to know you like them. The best relationships are when you slowly get to know another person. The guy will begin to understand the way you show affection, assuring them that you like them and vice versa. When you are in a relationship, you learn to compromise and take an interest in what they enjoy; if they like bikes, you don't have all of a sudden become passionate about them.
Anyway, to summarise, you have your head screwed on. Don't change for anyone.3