I feel bad that my girlfriend didn't make it to a tournament but I did. Should I cancel?

She and I had challenge matches to see if we could make it to a sports team tournament. She has told me many times how much it means for her to go. I personally don't have that much of a need to go since my priorities are in my college studies.

I won all of my challenge matches and ended up getting the spot but my girlfriend lost her first match. She couldn't make it. She was teary eyed and very down on herself. I didn't realize this until she came over to watch me play with my friend. She looked fine at first but then broke down. I walked her to her car and we talked for awhile. I honestly couldn't say much to make her feel better since she keeps saying that I was the one who made it.

I tried to make her feel better as best as I could but, she REALLY wanted to go. What surprised me was that she wanted me to rescind my offer to go to the tournament to hang out with her. I told her that I would probably do that since the other guys want to go more than I do.

The dilemma I have is that the team captain wants me to go. However my girlfriend is also my best friend. I'm not going to abandon her to go to this tournament. What really bothers me is how much she was pushing for me to stay. If there was something else that I had to go to without her is she going to act the same?

She is a very innocent girl of 22 and she is sort of naive about relationships. I am her first boyfriend.

What should I do?

I decided to go to the tournament. I told my girlfriend this and I could tell that she was bothered. I asked her to come with me so that we could have fun in the city when matches are over but she refused saying she can watch a at home college game with one of our friends.

I agree about a girlfriend wanting to wish her boyfriend the best for the tournament despite her losing her chance. I may have pushed her a little away with this decision but, in the end I'll feel better about myself.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Honestly that's really selfish of her. She should be happy you made it and want to be there to support you, since you're clearly pretty good at whatever this was. I get it, I'd be sad if I didn't make something either, but it wouldn't take away my pride and happiness for my SO if he made it. I'm not really sure how to go about telling her, because she seems super sensitive, but definitely go. And bring her. You're not abandoning her by doing something for yourself.. you don't have to be attached at the hip wherever you go, it's okay and she'll live.

    Tell her that you want to go to the tournament to see how you will do and because it would probably be fun. You would love to have her there, you're also really sad that she didn't make it because it would have been fun to be at a tournament together, but you can train together for the next one and hopefully both of you will make it. She needs to grow up, this isn't how you should act in relationships.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Woa dude she's acting like a little kid. She has to support you and you have to go to that tournament. She'll get over it, and if she won't then consider if you guys are a good match. And if you want to live with a jealous girlfriend.
    by the way good luck ;-)


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What Girls Said 2

  • Why feel guilty. That's ridiculous

  • Go. You don't need to be her doormat. So everytI'm she doesn't like something she'll get upset and demand you leave it? She tried and failed. That's her decision to get over...


What Guys Said 1

  • OMG. Get a grip you two. She's acting like a 12-year old. Get over it.