Is my boyfriend taking advantage of me? Is there a future for us?

I am dating this man. 30 year old military guy and it's been almost 8 months. He's a Seargant in the airforce and makes pennies compared to what I make in a year, but if you've been in the military or know someone who has you realize that they literally get everything handed to him. He has 0 dependents and 0 responsibilities. The airforce pays for his mortgage, insurance, utilities, food, and he pays little to nothing in taxes. He also has 2 roommates in his home so his $1,500 mortgage stipend goes in his pocket every month.
We decided to go on a spontaneous trip to Chicago. I suggested it and invited him but we've attempted to go on many vacations together.

We take a first class flight there $700 paid by me. Our driver picks us up $138 paid by me. We get to the hotel, the trump. Each night and the security deposit. $1,600 paid my me. Our late night meal at the hotel. $100.38 exactly paid by me.

The next morning we go out for brunch, we get the check $74 I take a look at hand it to him. He says "aw" pouts and after taking out his card, gets quiet for the duration of the time spent at the restaurant. We take a cab back to the hotel. $10 paid by me. Later we go to a store to get a phone charger because we both forgot ours. I find a hat I like. Total is $22 he stands far away from the register as if I should pay. I tell him I didn't bring anything. He pouts, says "aw" and pays. He then is quiet for the duration of our walk back to the hotel.

Fast forward to dinner. Pizza place, $24. After a long while of me not picking up the check he takes a look says do you want to pay for this or should I? I say you can. He sighs takes out his card and is again quiet.

This morning. Breakfast. $100 paid by me. Then our flights back... a whole other story.

Is he taking advantage me or am I being a bitch? It's a turn off and I just don't enjoy his company as much. Not sure if there's a future. When answering don't be an ass or judge me, thanks.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Seargant's being a little princess. I don't blame you for getting mad unless he makes way too low and can't afford any of it for real.

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    • 2mo


      But he has money and refuses to spend it on me. He claims to have thousands of miles on the airline he uses for work and his mortgage goes in his pocket every month. Because he's in the military, he didn't even need to put down a deposit on his house. So he still has that as well.

    • 2mo

      Then you have every right to be mad... I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that he's using you but he's a cheapskate

Most Helpful Girl

  • If he's got money to spare I think it's at least fair to split the cost of things!
    Me and my ex went halves on most things, sometimes I'd go to pay for a jumper or something and he'd take it out of my hand and pay for it, I never asked him too. He must said he wanted too. I always offered to pay for meals and everything we did. We'd either alternate it so one of us paid each each time or go halves.
    I do think it's unfair for you to be expected to pay for everything and then for him to get funny when you ask him too!
    Either he's a tight ass or he can't afford it.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Welcome to experiencing what guys have had to do for decades :)

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    • 2mo

      Why should I deserve to experience it? I'm not a selfish person. I'm kind and generous. It's not the fact that he didn't pay for anything. It's the fact he didn't offer to pay for the small things and then pouted when he did.

      But he has money and refuses to spend it on me. He claims to have thousands of miles on the airline he uses for work and his mortgage goes in his pocket every month. Because he's in the military, he didn't even need to put down a deposit on his house. So he still has that as well.

What Girls Said 1

  • It doesn't sound too promising. I'm not a fan of guys paying everything, every time... but 50/50 is fair. The fact that he's acting pouty about paying (not even the more expensive tabs), would indicate that you may be his sugar mama. Unless he has told you that his money is tight, I'd have to stop footing the bills.

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