What's the difference between liking someone and putting them on a pedestal?

Let's say you started someone who you're amazed by, they got a lot in common, very attractive and you guys hit it off so well that you think about the person a lot.

Having said that what's the difference between liking them a lot and putting them on a pedestal?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Putting someone on a pedestal will make you contradict your own boundaries. You look up to them so much that it's somewhat intimidating.

    Genuinely liking someone I think it's easier to just hang out and be yourself. More easy going and casual.

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    • 2mo

      Sorry I mean * compromise your boundaries* not contradict but I think you know what I mean..

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    • 2mo

      Well did you go through with having sex anyway?

      Being too embarrassed will not keep her from responding. Especially since you've reached out to her.

      Why would she be mad at YOU? You weren't the one who invited her into your bed with a condom wrapper in it.

      Like I said, if she's interested... she'll respond. If she's not... she won't. Simple.

    • 2mo

      Yeah I did go through with having sex. But I could tell she acted a little awkward afterwards and when walking me out to my car.

What Girls Said 13

  • Reality verses illusion. Everyone has flaws. If you can't see the bad stuff in a person its because you've put them on a pedestal. If you know he or she is disorganized and has an unclean closet and sometimes is late to an event because they can't find matching shoes in there, but you can deal with it because he or she has an interesting and caring personality, that is reality and really liking them.

    Everyone has flaws and they are super serious to someone. But you know you and what you can and cannot live with. What are your deal breakers? Everyone's are different.

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  • It never happened to me because not only that I don't open up easily but I have a hard time trusting people

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  • Putting them on a pedestal is technically idealising them If you happen to idealise the person you'll become dissatisfied when you begin to notice flaws, while on the other hand liking them is something genuine. Some people who have trophy husbands/wives often fall into the category of putting their partner on a pedestal by strengthening their image into society.

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    • 2mo

      Yep, I never insisted she was perfect or anything like that. It was just crazy because of how much we have in common and we clicked so much that I felt a connection like we knew each other our whole life on the first date. It's just refreshing to meet someone like that. If that makes any sense.

    • 2mo

      That feeling can be wonderful indeed.. try not to overlook the negative side if she has any because you know how sometimes people can overlook some things if a few positive things were met haha but good luck!

    • 2mo

      Yeah I made my mistake of overlooking red flags and flaws in the past and it cost me. Was a lesson learned for sure.

  • Putting them on a pedestal is admiring them, but you don't see their flaws. You are blinded to their flaws. I would hate to be put on a pedestal. I want people to like me despite my flaws

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  • If you can't recognized anything wrong with them and think they are perfect and can do nothing wrong, you have put them on a pedestal. If you make excuses for something they did wrong or ignore red flags, you have put them on a pedestal.

    Now if you sincerely like someone, you accept the fact that someone is weird or gross or mean sometimes (even if it's normal) but continue to like them anyway.

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    • 2mo

      Good call, I think me getting annoyed with her talking during this whole movie and getting grossed by her burping between making out made me realize she's not on a pedestal.

      Unfortunately I had a big red flag wave the other day when we last saw each other.

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    • 2mo

      Haha yeah. It's just we have so much in common and she's very attractive plus we share a lot of morals/political views/outlooks on life. I just think a mix of those plus how well our first couple dates went got me attached and made me develop feelings for her compared to others if that makes any sense.

      It's not like I get like this just because a girl is interested.

      When I told my brother about it, he said that's cool, just don't put her on a pedestal.

    • 2mo

      He sounds very wise lol

  • Putting someone on a pedestal is when you start to expect things of them and start to not show gratitude if they do anything less. You may also do more than necessary to try to "close the gap" to try and meet said expectations yourself. Basically they take an image in your life i. e. girlfriend/boyfriend, wife/husband, or usually something you may not have thought you'd attain or something you want to have. It's just that. They turn onto a thing, a figure instead of an individual.
    Liking someone is when they are on your mind a lot and you are happy they are in your life and show you appreciate them. You can recognize their faults but you like them more than the faults, so they may not seem as big at the time.
    Just because you think about them, think about a future, or even bring up a future to them doesn't mean that you are putting them on a pedestal. Pretty much when you put them on a pedestal they cease to be a real person with faults and enter fantasy realm.
    I will admit that I am guilty of this before, as well as most of my exes, but I have also realized their faults when I created a better connection too. It's not a good thing to do, but can be reversed if you catch it in time.
    Just try to enjoy the now with them, and instead of focusing on how amazing they are, focus on the fact that you have such a great connection. Those aren't always easy to find.

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  • Liking someone is despite their faults.
    Putting them on the pedestal is believing they have no faults.

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    • 2mo

      Yeah. I mean did get annoyed with her talking thoughout the whole movie on our last date, so I guess that means I'm not putting her on a pedestal lol.

    • 2mo

      I guess not lol

  • Liking someone is an impression we have of someone. Placing a person on a pedestal is idolizing or venerating someone regardless of whether its right or wrong. You dont care really you just see them as perfect.

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  • To like someone is to admire a lot of things about that person, but not necessarily everything.

    To put someone on a pedestal is to see them as superior and look past every negative thing wrong with them because of how much you think they are better than everyone else. Thats not something you should do with anyone in my opinion.

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  • When you like someone you know their default and putting them on a pedestal means that you think they're perfect, better than you, etc..

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  • Liking someone means finding someone attractive. Putting on pedestal means believing they'd do no wrong and being willing to go in fire if they ask

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  • You put them on pedestal by playing hard to get I guess and liking you should love if you loved the person you wouldn't put them on pedestal or your actually afraid to say love cuz you said like about the person

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  • Liking someone: you notice their flaws but still like them. Adore them
    Put someone on pedestal: the person is so unreal. you admire them so much you not even able to see their flaws.. Lol

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What Guys Said 9

  • Don't put a girl on a pedestal. I did that to a girl I loved and she lost interest quick. You start to lose confidence, you feel like you need to do more to match up to her/ to please her, you apologize every time she gets frustrated and angry with you, she knows you're too easy and will always be there. You need to play the game. When you put a girl on a pedestal it is a turn off to them. Act like you still care about her but at the same time show her that you're your own person and she needs to please you too.

    This super hot girl really liked me when I acted like I didn't care, when deep down I cared a lot. She kept chasing me. Then, when I poured out my heart to her and put her on a pedestal it turned her away and she lost a lot of that interest. Play the game. Don't ever show that you are putting a girl on a pedestal.

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    • 2mo

      Yeah I try to keep it 50/50. We still talk via text, snapchat, instagram every other day but I don't over compliment her. If she says she's busy when I ask her to hang out, I play it cool. You just can't help who you feel for. I mean she's not perfect but it's refreshing to meet a woman who's very attractive and likes a lot of the same things I do, not that were mirror images of each other. She even admitted our tastes are congruent.

  • Putting them on a pedestal means you refuse to look at them as a human being, you refuse to acknowledge their flaws and you don't question their actions or motives. I like my friends but if they do something stupid I call them out on it instead of defending them and trying to play it off as not being wrong/stupid. That's basicly the difference.

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    • 2mo

      Good call. Glad you applied that to friends as well. When you see friends do sketchy/shady of even stupid things, you must call them out or else the problem will continue.

    • 2mo

      Precisely, a true friend will make sure you are the best you can be and that some times means calling you out, I do so for my friends and I expect the same in return.

  • Found the URL below that HAS A GREAT ANSWER!

    Imagine you’re on a date with a girl who ignores everything you say and just keeps complimenting your looks. No matter how amazing or into you she is, you’ll be creeped out since she likes you superficially and doesn’t care about the real you.

    This is how girls feel about guys who place them on pedestals. Yes, women are amazing. They look beautiful and being around them feels beautiful. But when you admire them instead of communicating person-to-person, they can tell you’re being shallow and fake from a mile away.
    Admiring the opposite sex is one of my favorite pastimes, but remember that women are people – not objects to be admired!

    cavemancircus.com/.../

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    • 2mo

      I actually did have that happen once. Where the girl kept on commenting on how cute I am, took a pic of me and her and posted it on Facebook. She even sent it to her friends saying how cute I am.

      What turned me off even more is how she basically volunteered her whole sexual historyv

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    • 2mo

      Great question! That would make a great MyTake.

    • 2mo

      I mean I usually don't bring up number of sex partners talk, but usually when I've had sex with women all they would ask is if I'm clean and have a condom. Even if I did get a promiscuous vibe, they never asked.

      I mean even though I've never heard a woman go, sorry I only date guys who have slept with 10+, 20+ women, I wonder how they really think.

  • Putting the pussy on a pedestal means you'll go along with whatever she wants but you don't necessarily want to. She wears the pants

    Liking them a lot is more like you put the pussy on a pedestal but that now comes because you love each other rather than because your whipped

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  • if she treats you with a , lets say, attitutude that your attention is Always granted or you're doing things and she looks at it in way that implies you're supposed to... and she mistreats you often...
    you're putting her on a pedestal. knock her off that asap

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    • 2mo

      Give an example

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    • 2mo

      yeah no prob

    • 2mo

      Cool I just followed you. Guess I gotta do that to PM you

  • The difference is idolization. When you idolize someone, what they are doesn't really matter, you just worship them no matter what. But as a result, anything they do becomes irrelevant.

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  • @Sal_202 nailed it.
    I could not have said it better myself.

    Just my opinion

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  • Liking them too much, too soon.

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  • Putting someone on a pedestal is dangerous. When you realise that they probably were that cock-sucking party girl once, you start to judge them (even though that's wrong). But liking someone is nice. You know they have a past but you like them anyway and understand it. You stop expecting them to be perfect.

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    • 2mo

      Very true. Putting them on a pedestal usually ends up with you feeling inferior to your love interest which is not good either

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