If you were still single in your 30s would you give up on dating or become desperate?

I put other as an additional option... just wanted to know. My brother is 32 and always single, I have a few friends who are 30 and single, not really looking

  • Give up
    7% (2)22% (10)16% (12)Vote
  • Become desperate
    15% (4)15% (7)15% (11)Vote
  • Other
    78% (21)63% (29)69% (50)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • i hope that never happens to me but if it would happen to me then i would use hope, Hope is really a beautiful thing.

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Most Helpful Girl

What Guys Said 19

  • This is one of the best questions that I have seen in a LONG time.

    I was in that situation. I basically spent the 1990s heartbroken over a girl that I wanted to marry but that dumped me in January 1992 just after I turned 29... I was always emotionally monogamous with her. I had to make a decision to let go - not an easy thing to decide or to implement. Indeed, we did have communication as recently as 1997.

    I was resigned to being single the rest of my life but it was not some decision that I made. However, like the time just before I met that girl, I decided to "let life happen to me" which worked out well since that's how I met her. In other words, when I tried getting into relationships, that was problematic, but when I let life happen, I had better relationships...

    Anyway, when I was 32, I did have a brief rebound LDR with a Canadian woman. It was a disaster. That's when I really made that decisions to let life happen. By 1999, I was interested in 2 women: 1 was 15.5 years older than me and very hot. The other was almost 16 years younger than me and very innocent. The nice thing about them is that they made me feel undead. I couldn't have a relationship with either of them, but I did meet my wife in 1999 also via email through work, but I met her in person in November and we became a couple shortly thereafter. I was 36. She was 42. We were married not quite 2 years later when I was 38.5 and she just turned 44.

    So, my advice is don't become desperate and don't give up, but simply take it easy. Use a dating site maybe - they didn't have that when I was younger. If you are in a setting around men, there will come a point where you will meet a man who will put a spark in your heart.

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  • I might get discouraged and focus on other things but never give up, I'm single again and just taking it easy for the moment until I meet someone

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  • :p
    It's not about IF, it's about When.. and I will get desperate and eventually give up.

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  • I gave on traditional US style dating at 17, These behaviors derive from the English aristocracy, and we should all reject them.

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    • 2mo

      Can you elaborate

    • 2mo

      The girl on a pedestal, choosing among her 'suitors.' Usually based on which one has the most money.

      That's England for you. The aristocracy. Many in the US still ape the English lords, sadly

  • I already gave up in my 20s. I really dislike the idea of desperation. Reminds me of a puppy clawing up skirts. I'm not gonna go running around trying convince people to be with me. If they

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    • 2mo

      Already gave up? I got desperate when I was 22. It worked for me. I just started initiating contact with people, accepting any guy who asked me out. I did it for the hope that I would find the one.

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    • 2mo

      At 24 I settled down with a guy that I felt was compatible for me. He was everything on the exterior, and now we are working on the interior.

    • 2mo

      Compatible is good.

      Mmmmm. People don't change easy, I've found. At least not on a substantive, internal level. Though, I guess it depends on the person, so long as the desire exists. Good luck in both of your efforts. Or maybe I should say do well, instead of good luck.

  • s-ec-sm.buzzfeed.com/.../...850-1267924048-181.jpg
    This lovely lady/tree would be it.. So... You decide.

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  • I haven't had to resort to either granted i've been in committed relationships before. Being single is far better then being in a dead-end relationship. It's especially awesome around the holidays. No having to hang out with the SO family for what seems like weeks on end.

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  • I don't know if I can make it to 30 being single honestly. I want love so bad right now, but at least 12 more years without it? Gah, single life is not for me 😔

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  • Wouldn't call it desperate but if I couldn't find someone like that in my 30s I'd probably lower my standards at least a little bit. I doubt that's gonna happen tho.

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  • If I was over 30 and had never had a girlfriend I'd probably give up. I am single right now and expect to be single on my 30th birthday but I haven't been single my entire life so I won't give up.

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  • For me, neither.

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  • Women become more desperate and its obvious why

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    • 2mo

      Yes our eggs go down

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    • 2mo

      Unless they don't care to have biological kids

    • 2mo

      Yea of course there are many ways around it

      But for the majority of women, at least from what I noticed, they relax their standards a little around 30 ish. its also probably why women get more hot during their 30's. Its your body's way of giving you incentive to have sex

  • neither, i'd probably be as i am now; not interested

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  • Your brother is single, as in never had a girlfriend or been a very long time since he last had one?

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    • 2mo

      Never had a girlfriend ever

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    • 2mo

      yup, how old is the oldest woman you can think of who has been single her whole life, never had a boyfriend before?

    • 2mo

      I guess no comment for that one

  • People in their 30s can still have a healthy dating experience and can certainly meet someone special.

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  • Become desperate

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  • I already gave up a half decade ago.
    Being left broken down/betrayed by a girl ago and managed to be on a date with only 2 girls and never got further than a date I choose thate this was the best option not to be hurt again.

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    • 2mo

      Sorry that happened to you. I wish you the best.

    • 2mo

      thanks, I hope too. I only got invited once by a girl since then. But she already had a boyfriend and I thought if she wants to cheat on her boyfriend with me, why wouldn't she cheat on me when I became her boyfriend?

    • 2mo

      True, I also would not date someone who had a s. o.

  • When I divorced, I was so relieved, for like 5 years I wouldn't even consider a relationship.

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  • why desperate? i dont need cunts to thrive. i'm even happier with their absense. if my sister is to have similar worries in the future about me i'll confront her about it... .

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    • 2mo

      plus there is not much you can learn if you haven't socialised with them in a younger age. but i genuinely have NO will to waste any time on them. they repulse me, and also having too much age gap with my kid would also be a problem... .

What Girls Said 14

  • No I wouldn't give up, I would just ask my parents to get me married to someone good they know.

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  • I'm not desperate or giving up. I'm 33 and I have tons of dates with all types of guys weekly. I have high standards. I have a 22 year olds chasing me, a 32 year olds chasing me, a 42 yr old, a 44 yr old, and the one I really love (my ex) that I still talk to is 39.. you're really tripping. I'm glad I didn't settle in my 20s. who wants to be a boring housewife for the rest of your life starting at 25? that's no life I want. and 3 people have purposed to me in my life. but, none of them met my standards. god help me if I married any one of those people.

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  • I never actually actively went out and said: Today I'm going to find a husband! That's nuts.

    If it happens, happens, if not then so be it. If I like a guy, I ask him out, if I don't feel it (and they, by some wonder, ask me out) I say no... because what's the point.

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  • Relationships are really low on my priority list tbh. So I would neither give up or become desperate.

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  • Never give up.
    Also by being single is not in itself a bad thing. You can be single and be happy. Maybe he has lots of friend, friends with benefits on speed dial etc
    Perhaps he's not a commitment type of guy, Doesn't want that fuss of having to drag a girl along to meet mum & dad, 'where do we have Christmas this year' etc etc.

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  • I am a school teacher, there are a lot of single female teachers. Not sure of their age. One i know of when she was in her 30s she was resisiting to go on dates again ( she did go when she was in her 20s, i thibk she set a very high expectation)
    two other gfs. now in late 30s... seem to have giving up. (one of them also set very high expectations.)
    not sure, since i was married at that point.

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  • Keep on trying. As with everything in life, you need to keep on keeping on.

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  • My coach is 43 and still single and he's totally ok with it. He's not desperate and he hasn't given up

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  • NO.. women in this age is more attractive, aggressive, no limitations /restrictions.
    women in 30s doesn't wait around to be asked for a date, they are the ones who do the asking.

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  • I would still persue love

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  • What's the big things with being 30 in america?

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  • Im not sure why you care

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    • 2mo

      Just trying to understand people. You don't have to answer if you don't want to

  • I am single at 34 and over the past decade have realized I'm not really marriage material. I'm nice enough, am good with kids, and cook and clean fine and all that junk that superficially is called "wife material."

    But I thrive on independence, being alone and making my own decisions. I also have anxiety disorder that makes it hard to do big things thst others want on a whim and keeps me from having kids unless I want multiple panic attacks a day (you have to go off meds). The kind of all encompassing pressure to give up all of your autonomy and free will that it takes to be a female partner freaks me out too much.

    At first, it made me really upset and ashamed than I am so different. But slowly, I'm becoming used to it. I do miss sex, but the trade off for partnered sex is very high from 28-45 or so, as you need to be more wifey and mommy to have relationships.

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  • Neither

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