I am dating a guy for 3 months we had 2 dinner dates in the beginning & he paid. When we had drinks later that evening I paid. Otherwise if we have been out for drinks sometimes I pay, I also pick up for taxis occasionally & when we have been to BBQ's or gatherings with friends I have bought a bottle or some kind of offering. We never split the bill & I am fine with paying my way, I didn't ever have any issue with the way we had been doing things.
This W-E we were out with his friend & guy he didn't know. 2nd round of drinks got ordered & the guy he didn't know paid. I felt uncomfortable because my guy didn't even offer to split so I left cash on table.
Last night we had dinner, he told me to ask for the check. Jokingly I said "Really? Is that protocol now the lady asks for the check?" He said he'll show me what's protocol.
The check came &he said lets split I wasn't surprised but maybe the disappointment showed on my face as I had paid for our lunch that day & thought it would be nice if he treated me to dinner, but anyway I said ok.
The restaurant didn't accept Amex (No I didn't have any other card but that's another story) so I asked if he mind paying & I would get cash when we left.
When I offered him the cash for my half he refused it making a huge deal shouting at me in the street saying that he didn't like my behaviour. He didn't mention money but I know it's exactly what he were referring to, he said that he does things a certain way & obviously I am not the person he thought I was & he isn't the person I thought he was.
It ended with him saying that was it so I proceeded to walk my way, he caught up with me & continued repeating what he had already said. Very calmly I said I didn't know what he wanted from me now & if that's it I'll go my way and he go his, to which he shouted 'BYE' in my face.
He has since text me acknowledging that he overeacted but he clearly thinks I was wrong in some way. In my mind I don't feel I have done wrong, have I?
Most Helpful Guy
I hope for your sake and safety that you never again run into that guy. If I ask you to join me for the evening, I pay. If I stop for fuel on the way to drop you off, I pay, If someone orders a round of drinks and we are included, I pay for the next. This is only right. You are with me as my guest.
If we were in a relationship, the scenario may be different if we had an agreement before leaving the house, otherwise, it remains the same, I pay.
Just my opinion1
Most Helpful Girl
I don't think what you did was wrong. You simply forgot your other cards (it happens!). It's not like you never pay for stuff, and it's not like you are using him for money. TBH it sounds like he is incredibly passive aggressive. I personally think you dodged a bullet. I would just end things now.
Unless he is willing to let things go, it sounds to me he is taking this way too seriously. I would honestly be scared if someone reacted to me that way. He made an unnecessary scene, I would have been so embarrassed and scared.
I think he's acting abusive towards you. It was a simple situation, a simple mistake, and you offered to give him money afterwards anyway. It's not like you outright refused to pay. And he had to make a scene.
He was wrong and no he didn't apologize to you. Because his apology was about making you feel worse for the situation that wasn't even your fault intentionally. Crap happens, I've been guilty of forgetting money and cards. Life happens. You weren't pushing him to pay for you intentionally. And again, you offered to reimburse him.
He decided to take it too far and embarrass you and yell in your face. That's not someone I would want to be with for very long. How is he going to feel if he has to pay for something again if you forget your cards? Is he going to make a scene again then?1
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