My parents moved me to the United states when I was 13 to study abroad with my grandparents. I come from a very conservative Korean family and my parents believe in very old customs such as arranged marriages. They have a very close relationship with another family in Korea who happens to have a son who is about three years older than me. He's a great guy and we're close friend but I'm not in love with him at all and come next year I'll be 18 so in Korean age I'll be 20 and eligible to finally get married and they've already promised me to think boy. Well about 2 years ago I got accepted into a special school for the arts where I live and I met a guy I'm really close with. We became friends almost instantly and have been friends since. But lately something has changed about that friendship and I've started to see his as a man... not just a friend or a big brother. We hang out all the time and I'm allowed to hang out with him as long as another girl is around or his parents are able to see us, or my grandparents. It's not appropriate for a girl to be alone with a boy as my parents say. But sometimes when we go to the pool to swim he always never wear a shirt... and I keep catching myself stare at his chest and something about that excites me. And now I'm finding myself missing him when I'm not around him and when he is there I always find myself just smiling and always happy. I've never had a boyfriend and I'm forbidden from dating. I'm lucky I'm even allowed to hang out with any boys. My fiance would probably be angry to know. I've never done anything with this boy at all but I keep having urges to touch him or sometimes I want to kiss him. And I know he looks at me as well... and he's mentioned how beautiful I am and that my betrothed is a lucky man (I told him about it). But what do I do about this... I wanna b with him not my fiancè... I really like this guy and I don't know what to do about these feelings. Please help me
Most Helpful Guy
Just don't do it. Don't go through with the marriage why should your parents choose who you will sleep with for the rest of your life? You are a bit too young to get married anyway. Tell your parents you don't want to do it. I think it's more about that you should be able to choose who you want. They may not like it but what are they gonna do? But you might wait until you are 18 so they will not be able to make you do anything. Now they can just send you back to Korea but next year they can't make you do anything,
Could you answer my question.
Most Helpful Girl
You need to learn to have boundaries and self control when around this guy, or else your just going to have to separate from him. You never got a chance to see your fiancé to even know if you can love him or not. This is not about falling in love. Love doesn't work like that. Love has to already be inside of you, love has to be something you can provide for that person. What your basically saying is that you refuse to love or grow to love a person you never even met. Your basically lusting after this guy your seeing now and you think you love him, but you don't. You two are basically just interested in getting into each others pants, thats all. What's going to happen when this go sour between you two? Your going to start over by finding somebody else? Its best to be real and honest about this and yourself.
Its not that your too young to marry or else the legal age wouldn't be 18. And I'm sure they won't rush you to marry quickly. I believe its only when either you and him are ready to get married. Your just eligible. That doesn't mean: do it now! Unless they are indeed forcing you. Think about this really hard. Because if you make this person your husband, you would have to follow and honor him regardless who you marry. That is the duty of the wife. To help her husband and let him lead and be in charge of her and the children. The rule still applies. So unless your willing to submit to him as a wife instead of your fiancé, talk this over. Because either way, all this is is lust if your urges is about touching him in an intimate manner. And lust doesn't last long, it fades.0