To ask or not to ask about sexual history?

If you're thinking of getting back together with an ex (spare me the " ex is an ex for a reason" lecture) who you were separated from by distance for a year. Is it better to know as little as possible?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Other than getting tested, it's always better to know that there was someone (or multiple people) and not ask details. When I have gotten back with an ex I simply ask if they were with anyone and if so have they been tested. It's best to leave the rest in the past. You were broken up, they were a free agent as were you and STD's are the only worry.

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What Guys Said 2

  • I think it is absolutely relevant to know where your date stands on the entire aspect. It doesn't have to be a number, but people who only have sex in a comitted relationship and those who sleep around naturally have an entirely different view on sex and thus can hint to a lack of compatibility.

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What Girls Said 3

  • It depends on how you feel. Everyone is different.

    Sometimes ignorance is bliss in situations like this , because he's not a new partner but an ex. So you need to move forward from the past so you can give the relationship a fresh start. A fighting chance of lasting this time.

    A new start is meant to be looking to the fututre together , not concentrating on the past. You both need to have a new outlook on the relationship. Knowing whose he's slept with during the split could just prevent the relationship from moving forward, it could create problems within the relationship

    I guess it depends on your personality though. Ask yourself... do you really want to know , and what purpose would it serve if you did know

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  • I say you should ask but that is because I believe in transparent relationships. I don't want a relationship that's like a buffet where you just pick and choose what looks good and leave the rest behind or intentionally gloss over what else is there. I want to look into a man and accept every part of his journey, including the sexual part. If there's something there that I can't find it in my soul to accept, then he's not the man for me and I'd rather share my heart with someone else.

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  • To me, the only thing that matters about sexual history is if it affects your relationship together now.
    So, it's important to consider STDs and to ask your partner to get tested. It's also important to have some information if you think that person has been scarred in some way by their sexual history. Both of these things affect your current relationship.
    If their sexual history doesn't affect your relationship, I think that it's not important to know.

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