Why can't I find a partner?

I am trying to figure out what is wrong with me.

I am 23, I have never have had a girlfriend, kissed a girl or even held a hand...

I think I am decent looking, I do get checked out by girls... I work full time, so I have money...

I am on dating sites, I try to small talk girls in public but it never goes anywhere...

What do I need to date?

I don't know what is wrong with me... I see my ugly friends have girlfriends, friends with benefits, hook up with girls...

But I have nothing?

So what does a guy need, or have to do to get a girlfriend?

I try being myself, I try being extra confident but nothing ever works...

I feel like I missed out on so much life and will die alone :(


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Most Helpful Girl

  • There's probably nothing "wrong" with you... dating is difficult in this day and age. People rarely talk to each other face to face anymore because of technology. I think the best way to find someone is to join a club/group or take classes etc. Really anything that you would go to consistently. This gives you a lot more chances to get to know someone and if they're in the same club/group/class as you, there is already something you have in common and something you can talk about that isn't just small talk. A lot of people don't like small talk, it isn't interesting or engaging in the slightest. I never remember the guys that approached me for small talk.. I remember the guys that had something interesting to say. Just try to make yourself stand out, but not in a way that would turn her off. Be memorable.. give the girl a reason to want to talk to you again. Be mysterious.. don't let out information so easily so she becomes curious about you. Act interested in her and most likely she will eventually gain interest as well. Go to meetup. com to find clubs/groups in your area. A lot of the time, if you just approach someone random, it can be awkward or uncomfortable.. especially if you don't have something to talk about besides small talk. In a class/group setting you see them more often and consistently, and they will be more comfortable around you. Also, you have more time to think of what to say and there's also much bigger chance that you will end up talking naturally.

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    • 2mo

      Also don't be too persistent, always start off friendly and if there seems to be a mutual attraction then you can flirt. I never liked when guys would flirt with me right off the bat, yeah it's flattering and all, but it makes me think they only want sex and that they do this to every girl they're attracted too... make her feel special, like she is worth getting to know and you chose to speak with her for a reason. Get to know her and wait until she seems comfortable around you before you even try to flirt.

    • 2mo

      For first conversations, I always loved when guys had an interesting topic for me. Don't be like Hi, my name is blah blah what's yours what do you like etc. Those are the kind of things you learn after they already become interested in you. Try to make it a topic that has relevance to the situation instead of something completely random and unrelated. For instance if you're in a class and the topic for the day was controversial or engaging then ask her "What did you think about (insert topic here)?" If you are at a loss and can't think of anything you can even start off asking them to borrow a pencil or a piece of paper, just to break the ice. If they're reading ask what they're reading, try to think of things that are very broad, so you won't run out of things to say. Don't be afraid of rejection, it happens, but it's better to regret trying than to regret not trying.

Most Helpful Guy

  • First of all, I don't know but you do look a little desperate for a relationship. Honestly speaking desperation is not a good quality, it's not at all attractive.

    Secondly I can understand your dissapointment and you say you try to be yourself and extra confident which is the right direction to go on. It's possible that it may not always be you who is wrong, it's possible that you simply have bad luck.

    In that case nothing much can be done. There are some things you can't control and you need to accept that.

    The right way to go about this is:

    1. You should be confident.

    2, You should be yourself and don't compare yourself with others.

    3. You can possible work on your physical appearance and try to look physically appealing and attractive. Take care of your skin and hair. Have a nice hairstyle also.

    4. As far as your personality is concerned, you should try to work on your flaws and in order to do that, you should first understand yourself very well. Work on your insecurities and so on. Hence try to make yourself as perfect as you can. Of course 100% perfection is not possible but getting anywhere close to that itself would be a remarkable achievement for you.

    If you are already doing all this and still if a woman doesn't like you then I am sorry there is nothing much you can do. In that case you can assume that the fault is not in you, it's just bad luck for you.

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    • 1mo

      Thanks for the MHO

    • 1mo

      You're welcome. If I'm undatable, it's hard but it's something I have to learn to accept

What Girls Said 5

  • I think you need to just keep putting yourself out there. I know that's not much consolation. But I've racked my brain for years trying to figure out if there is a secret to finding a partner. There isn't a secret.

    It basically comes down to luck. You are at the right time, with the right person and it all just works. Unfortunately some of us (myself included) do not have luck in love. But if you keep trying you are bound to meet someone.

    I've managed to have a few relationships (but they never work out). But your's might. No one has any advantage over you. I've seen so many people get into relationships who I thought I had a better chance at love than they do. But they're married and having kids and I am single.

    My friends who say sexist things or are mean to their partners, yup they have love! My ex boyfriend who cheated on me, yup he has love and I am single.

    You can do everything right, and work on yourself and be open to love and still not find it. You can be the best partner (or strive to be) and there will always be people who treat their partners like crap who seem to get relationships so easy.

    You just have to keep trying, as frustrating as that is to hear. But your number will come up eventually! Until then try to focus your time on meeting as many people as possible.

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  • I think most people find it difficult to find someone they can have a relationship with or date. Even those in relationships find it difficult to maintain the relationship

    Someone will eventually come along , but it'll happen at a time when you least expect it, when you are just getting on with your life

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  • Maybe you focus too much on "girls" as opposed to the one girl you're trying to score with.

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  • Try speaking w a really good clairvoyant. by the way, I've noticed a lot of young guys dealing w this issue.

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  • Odds are you're a weak pussy. Grow a spine.

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    • 2mo

      Lol why tho lmao

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    • 2mo

      Odds are your a lowlife, hood rat bitch!!

    • 2mo

      That was for the anonymous girl

What Guys Said 6

  • "I try to small talk girls in public but it never goes anywhere"

    Assuming (and it is a big assumption) that you're not lying anywhere in your question, you seem to just have a problem flirting. Talk to the ugly friends of yours. Ask them how they talk to the girls they eventually get with, and compare that with how you try your flirting. Try to emulate their more successful style.

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  • eh im 28 and i never dated a girl. nor held hands just kissed and make out.
    you know what you need to do? work on yourself and be proud of who you are. a girl will notice, you will notice and sooner or later things will happen
    just keep on improving yourself man ;)

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  • Lol dude maybe your thinking too much about it, don't worry about it lol if them bitches don't want you then fuckem lol relationships are more trouble then they are worth anyways

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  • Tell them you wish to see them again o. o I realized you never seem to invite them for a meet up to get to know each other a bit better.

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  • loser genes, you should join the family https://humiliationpov.com

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  • You will never find love. Girls simply don't find you attractive.

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    • 2mo

      How can somebody be this stupid at this age? Just claim your age as 45 any damn way... that is so transparent.

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    • 2mo

      Young women aren't mean... they just have to be on defense because every body is trying to get w them on a daily basis (that's fucking annoying).

    • 2mo

      @jjesica346 They are mean.

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