Which gender has more trouble approaching?

This will be fun. I've seen way too many butthurt guys on this site and worse yet, sometimes feel like becoming one. I want to hear all of them, but I also want to hear the opposing argument; I have not yet seen a single girl comment about how butthurt she is because she can't get a boyfriend. Do they exist? What do all the normal people think too? Also please explain your other reasons if you chose one of those options.

  • Men, because women tend to be more picky or less willing to settle for someone
    10% (10)43% (60)29% (70)Vote
  • Men, because they're not doing it right
    9% (9)8% (11)8% (20)Vote
  • Women, because they don't traditionally approach men
    35% (36)21% (30)27% (66)Vote
  • Women, because all the guys are looking for sex and not a meaningful relationship
    17% (17)5% (7)10% (24)Vote
  • Men for another reason
    1% (1)9% (12)5% (13)Vote
  • Women for another reason
    9% (9)4% (6)6% (15)Vote
  • It depends/ it's about equal (please explain)
    19% (21)10% (15)15% (36)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Hmmm. I'd say it was equal, as I woman I approach my crushes. Especially if they have been reciprocating with the flirting, I spend time and effort getting to know more about them. Just to discover that they have been leading me on because they already have girlfriends. But men seem to listen to their friends saying "just go for it" before they've even had any signals that a woman is interested or before they've even tried talking to her. I mean wouldn't you find it kinda daunting if a complete stranger just asked you out straight away? Or the really shy guys just think that being a stalker, invading your space and successions of staring at you will get them somewhere. They expect you to still be interested in them 2 or 3 years later when they finally decide that they want to talk to you. By that time their crush got fed up of their pissing about, lost interest and moved on.

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    • 2mo

      In my experience a girl who likes me will stare at me any chance she gets but will never approach me, but will ultimately end up with the guy that's clearly sleeping with everyone, but somehow it will still be my fault for letting her slip away. O_0 (can you really blame men for being fed up with monogamy)

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    • 2mo

      Thanks for mho

    • 2mo

      You're welcome. Easy choice tho :)

Most Helpful Guy

  • Women, because they generally don't ever, men at least attempt it

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    • 2mo

      Men attempt it and get rejected.

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    • 2mo

      Your explanation is much appreciated. I could be just making assumptions. None of us will kknow. There could be many reasons, you could be right maybe he liked me but had no interest in talking to me, I could have been right by saying that each time he got close enough to me he chickened out and his nerves got the better of him, he could have already been in a relationship that was fizzling out and was in two minds about what to do. I've had guys In relationships do the same with me.

    • 2mo

      @Shorty1991 agreed, only he knows.

What Girls Said 17

  • Do people even approach each other anymore? I have never been approached by a stranger.. guys in public just stare or catcall. Even when I was in high school, guys would mostly ask me out over text. The few times I've been asked out in person have been by really close guy friends that never ever even hinted that they were attracted to me or were interested in dating me... This year 3 different guys confessed to me that they like me over text from a school I went to my junior year.. so about 2-3 years ago... I haven't even seen any of them since then. I don't get guys at all. I've asked out two guys in my life and got rejected by both but super nonchalantly... one of the guys acted like he liked me and would flirt with me nonstop.. when I told him I liked him he says "I like my girlfriend" like okkkaayy why even flirt with me all this time. And the other guys way of turning me down was by talking to his friends someplace I could hear and said he only likes Latino women and basically bashed my body type since I am slender... it was obvious that it was directed towards me. I know not all guys are like this but damn grow some balls.

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    • 2mo

      Men, because women tend to be more picky or less willing to settle for someone. When I try to approach girls, they run away. They act like I don't exist when I try to approach them.

    • 2mo

      I pray to god that your not going to continue to judge men by the highschool boys act -_-

    • 2mo

      Dayum. Hopefully you find some sane guys somewhere.

  • Women have an easier time approaching, because I think we're more afraid of a guy being a creep/potentially dangerous. Guys don't seem to worry about that in the same way, so they don't really have their guard up.

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    • 2mo

      Looking at it from a different angle you could say that some women might be missing out on great guys...
      Girl sees an amazing guy, he's so hot, good looking, sexy, fantastic personality, the whole shebang. Is she going to talk to him? Of course not! He might be even better and then she might faint and hurt herself.

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    • 2mo

      Sorry for the large generalisation, I am referring to the experiences I had and know about.

    • 2mo

      sorry I have no clue. Don't even remember-lol

  • Its way easier for a woman to approach a man, if only because its not the current social norm. Even if the guy isn't interested, he is likely to at least find it flattering that a woman would dare to approach them. Women, in the other hand, tend to expect men to approach them, and basically read their minds to determine if she is interested or not

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    • 2mo

      And lest not forget that a women are intimidated by men so her first response is to be afraid of him, where as a men are will at least hear a women out be he rejects her.

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    • 2mo

      Stranger things have happened:/

    • 2mo

      If only that could happen all the time. I have my controversial side but I can also be quite diplomatic. ;)

  • Men simply because not enough women approach.

    It's not that easy for us either though. Personally, I've been rejected every time. But I could, if I really wanted to, just wait and have men come to me. It's the safe option, but not my preferred option.
    Like technically, I have a safety net even if every single man I approach rejects me. I can still count how many men rejected me, and I'm not bragging or proud of this, but I cannot remember how many men I've had to reject (even some lesbians). Men aren't afforded with such luxury, so it's men that have it worse approaching.

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    • 2mo

      Men, because women tend to be more picky or less willing to settle for someone. When I try to approach girls, they run away. They act like I don't exist when I try to approach them.

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    • 2mo

      Making people think is what I do :)

    • 2mo

      @cchris989 Excellent. Not a very new idea but this is the kind of thing I was looking for.

  • I see a shit ton of "does size really matter, how can I get a chick" and from the females I see a ton of "what do I do, what am I doing wrong" but the biggest thing I see from both sexs is..."he/she stairs at me touched my _______.. I dont understand does he/she like me?" My god its OBVIOUS IM NOT SURE HOW MUCH MORE OBVIOUS IT CAN BE LOL

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  • Men might have a harder time getting a girl, but they don't have to worry about being fucked and dumped.

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    • 2mo

      Yeah, but that's why the woman should keep it classy and save it for when the relationship is established.

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    • 2mo

      ''cis-gendered''... there is biologically male and female. These LGTB need to get a back bone and realize it. You can go ahead and make up gender fluid and that bs fine but not many society considered you it. If your trans... dress the gender you want to be and call yourself that gender. End of. Lol it is funny though i have to admit.

    • 2mo

      @Jamesol1 You're completely off track now.

  • It's impossible to say which one has it harder, because both do for different reasons.
    Men: they're always expected to approach
    Women: it's not as socially acceptable for them to approach and is often considered to be less effective

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    • 2mo

      Hasn't it been proven to be more effective?

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    • 2mo

      @cchris989 it does not confirm what you said. It shows that some women do approach, but most do not, which is exactly what I have been saying while you've been saying that none approach. You're wrong, I'm right.

    • 2mo

      0.1% is not non, and beside where has something to do with it too so the town you live in is not representative of the whole world.

  • Lol I must be one of those weird girls. Just be nice to me and if you ask me out I'll say yes most likely

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    • 2mo

      Men, because women tend to be more picky or less willing to settle for someone. When I try to approach girls, they run away. They act like I don't exist when I try to approach them.

    • 2mo

      Really? Ever dated before?

  • I guess I'm a butt hurt person lmao, I think it's equal Cuse you see

    It's hard to approach people for each gender, like for me I usually approach the guys bc they are usually to scared to ask me even tho I'm not an intimidating person.

    On one hand girls have it harder bc it's not normal for them to usually ask the guy out, and why I don't prefer to do that anymore because of constant rejection

    But for guys it's also hard bc it's expected of them to do it, and they are afraid of rejection too. They gotta be the ones handling what they want bc it's a "guy thing"

    Well I don't really believe in all that. People have feelings and fears and it's intimidating and scary trying to approach people.

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    • 2mo

      We live in the Netflix and chill generation, no one wants a relationship but they still want casual sex, so if want be successful then you should just ask these guys to hang out with no implication that you want a relationship.

  • I think women.

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  • Women

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  • Shy people on both sides, i say it's about even

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    • 2mo

      Men, because women tend to be more picky or less willing to settle for someone. When I try to approach girls, they run away. They act like I don't exist when I try to approach them. I have no problem with approaching but they don't let me approach them. They act like I don't exist when I try to talk to them or they run away.

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    • 2mo

      Midnight star - operator

      Definitely before our time lol

    • 2mo

      @cchris989 lmao just a little

  • I know its tough for guys but its also tough for us. Girls aren't used to doing the approaching and it is very difficult

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    • 2mo

      Men, because women tend to be more picky or less willing to settle for someone. When I try to approach girls, they run away. They act like I don't exist when I try to approach them.

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    • 2mo

      @Vivaldi
      That's awful!

    • 2mo

      @Vivaldi Dude, u creepy

  • I would say women, cause they don't approach.

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    • 2mo

      girls dont approach because they think they are not supposed to, when in reality they just dont give a damn about guys in the first place.

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    • 2mo

      @cchris989 are you successful with women?

    • 2mo

      To some degree. At the first sign of of weakness e. i she bring up her ex or wears makeup everyday I'll usually leave them.

  • I think it depends on the personality

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  • Women, because they're often too passive and don't show very much of their true identity in public (aka are generally performing as "pleasers". Then they wonder why they can't find what they're looking for.

    For some reason "nice" and "passive" have gotten confused, and it hurts both sexes.

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    • 2mo

      She will ultimately end up with a confident guy, the only problem is his confidence derives from his ability to sleep with many women so she will ultimately find him in bed with her sister.

  • this is kind of a pointless stupid question and i will explain why...

    everyone is different... both genders find it difficult to approach the opposite sex and some people find it easy.. it all depends on the person it's not about genders... sick of people making things about genders. we are all people at the end of the day, don't like it? get surgery to look like a dog

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    • 2mo

      Men, because women tend to be more picky or less willing to settle for someone.

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    • 2mo

      just want to clarify i didn't say you are a pussy, i just mean that people who generally make things about genders are when not relevant.

      you must be meeting horrible women because i can def say i am not like that. i give everyone a chance. people have boundaries and if you don't fit the box it can't be helped. sometimes it's not about looks it's about personality. i think a lot of people want to assume they are high value, even when they have nothing going for them. personality isn't going to pay bills or pay for a family... each person has to have something to offer the other, most of the time it's one or the other. don't get me wrong i agree there are some women who are very in love with themselves... but i have seen men who are the same. if you really stop to look at the world from a different point of view, you will take in so much more about the people around you and not just one specific gender. it's quite interesting

    • 2mo

      Hey, you must not be around many of those horrible women. I promise you they exist and are more common than people like you.
      So much negativity on this site. Gotta remember nothing on this poll needs to apply to me.

What Guys Said 29

  • To answer your question men because in general they do it more.

    Do women get frustrated with being single? Hell yes. They just handle it differently. Where men blame ass holes and claim women don't want "nice guys" women tend to claim only ass holes exist and all the "nice guys" (code for a man who will openly respect them, love them, and treat them well) are taken or not interested. They often turn it in on themselves. The men I know who are frustrated tend to blame women for wanting a different type of guy.

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    • 2mo

      So just explaining why women aren't publicly butthurt. Useful.

    • 2mo

      They tend to turn it inwards. It's not any healthier but it's not the sceptical it is when some guy makes a youtube video about "women wanting ass holes".

  • Men because it's socially unacceptable to just hit them on the head with our club and drag them to our cave. Ahh the good ol days

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  • Women, because the majority or many don't approach at all due to the fear of rejection, fear of feeling awkward, fear of looking desperate orrrr knowing they don't have to because guys will probably approach them. Or at least wait and hope a cool guy will approach. Some girls are go-getters in this arena, but it's rare.

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  • i have seen girls even her asking why guys dont approach them
    even if they are good looking
    girls may like a guy but wait for him to make the first move like he has some mind reader
    nothing comes from waiting
    want something go for it

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    • 2mo

      even the most shy guys try at least once to approach girls
      girls fear rejection a lot more it hurts her female pride

    • 2mo

      When I try to talk to girls, they act like I don't exist. Approaching doesn't get me anywhere.

    • 2mo

      @Vivaldi kidnap them than :p

  • I think it's men but only because women don't have as many societal pressures to approach a guy, most (key word most) will wait for the guy which in doing so removes any real pressure to act on their interest. Guys not only have the same interest in connecting with someone but also the pressure that if they don't nothing will happen.

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  • Women. They generally don't approach so don't usually have a ready mindset for it. Whenever they've tried with me it always ends up being something goofy I can see through.

    Whether or not you have shy guys out there and whatever, most men are familiar with what it means to approach a female.

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  • guys! because we know we are going to get rejected anyways because girls dont give a damn about guys in the first place.

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  • Boys have it rougher

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    • 2mo

      You can't make women understand this.

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    • 2mo

      @Vivaldi I'm no prince charming either. But I also go to all boys school. You get to at least have a chance at a woman noticing you, I can't because I don't hang around them enough.

    • 2mo

      İt makes no difference when you are not able to talk.

  • butthurt she is because she can't get a boyfriend.

    Earlier this they there was a question by a girl about this and yesterday too.

    Its easier for guys probably, since girls dont approach nearly as often.

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    • 2mo

      Men get rejected when they approach. A lot of girls act like I don't exist when I try to talk to them. Approaching doesn't get me anywhere. For this reason, it is more difficult for guys.

    • 2mo

      Link to questions please?

  • Men because women don't approach.

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  • Well, I can't speak for anyone, but I like to stay afar cuz that's my game. I like to make Googly eyes from far away and then not make a move

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  • It's equal
    Girls hope to get noticed and asked out by the guy they like.
    Guys risk rejection when asking out a girl.

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  • Men do because women are being conditioned to fear us.

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  • I believe guy's have a harder time but that's because i honestly think a lot of other guy's know how to approach or have good social skills.

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    • 2mo

      Nno. You assume wrong. Or at least they're not on this site.

  • men.
    a girl can act like she's hot shit and guys will literally swarm her with attention

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  • Is this even a legit question? All you have to do is create two tinder profiles one male and one female, and you'll get the answer to this question.

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    • 2mo

      Tinder is not legitimate approaching. Even I know few people on it want a serious relationship.

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    • 2mo

      So if tinder has nothing to do with social interaction then why are more and more people using it?

    • 2mo

      It's free, a large amount of people just want to get laid (not serious dating), and some people are online dating noobs.

  • I'd say it's about equal for different reasons for the sex.

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  • Men have it harder, and always will. Men have to prove their worth, while women just need to be pretty.

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    • 2mo

      Women don't need to be pretty. An average girl is more conceited than WHO you call pretty. It is about the female gender being valuable. She just has the valuable gender. She doesn't need to be pretty to be conceited.

    • 2mo

      You assume what I meant by pretty. I don't see in terms of average or above average. Either you're pretty or not. Because, looks is subjective to the eyes of the beholder.

    • 2mo

      Also, we are talking about approaching someone we don't know yet. That's the key word here, "approach." You can't value what you don't know yet. So, like I said, they just need to be pretty to be approached. A man has to have game, and look as if he is successful.

  • Men have it harder.
    Men are socially expected to approach women, and it can be really difficult because of man reasons.
    For one, she can be already in a relationship.
    Two, she can reject you in public and no one will think less of it.

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  • As a man, I can easily approach women but since I'm a MGHOW, I don't approach them.

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  • Men, because women tend to be more picky or less willing to settle for someone.

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  • I find it hard because I don't know what to say

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  • I'd say men. It's a lot easier in the sense that men are more laid back and don't have to worry about getting raped by the girl etc. Girls are rarely seen as creepy or perverted (compared to guys) and this is something men can get labelled as very often. Also, women can score dates by just being themselves and being friendly. Guys on the other hand have to be on their A game and are more likely to be rejected if he isn't successful with his words or making the girl feel intrigued. Add to the fact that most women are much more picky then most men.

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  • "Women, because they don't traditionally approach men"
    Tradition doesn't mean they have magically been give an abiltiy to approach. If any women say that it's a poor excuse.

    "Women, because all the guys are looking for sex and not a meaningful relationship"
    Even assuming that's 100% true and in the way they think it true, what does that have to do with approaching? How is that a reason?

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    • 2mo

      Mate, I know those are unreasonable. They're intended to draw a specific sort of person to choose them.

    • 2mo

      ... in fact the entire female answer section is a minefield. This is not a poll for reasonable people.

    • 2mo

      I figured you'd feel that way. I'm addressing that specific sort of person.

  • I had no idea we had so many whiny bitches on this site.

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  • men because men are still generally expected to approach and plus men can unfortuneately easily be at risk of being labeled creepy

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  • Lol. Women are so clueless. Women dump men more than men dump women. Women rarely if ever approach and most of the time it's when the guy is so far out of their league that she doesn't register to him unless she approach him.

    In short women like with everything in life are lazy.

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    • 2mo

      Is that all you can do is repeat everything I say and talk even more jibberish?
      Aww, bless he's butt hurt because another guy sees my point and is agreeing with me.
      At least I didn't have to go anon, like you do. So that you can shit stir.

    • 2mo

      I don't understand you. What is your motivation for putting paragraphs of this stuff where no one but me and Shorty will barely glance over it? Also, if I'm a white knight, what does that make you? You're not a realist. You're a sad, lonely man who has no power over women.
      And I made the question specifically to attract weak, insecure shit like you. Weak. Your arguments are on the thinner side and you just can't shut up either. It's been two weeks and I keep having to return to this question to listen to this argument. Shorty has made her username known and has responded to many other losers like you and even came to an agreement with one. I find YOU at fault for continuing to waste my time.

  • Women have all the power here...

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    • 2mo

      Men have the power too. Whoever does the approaching can choose who to approach, just like the other person can choose who to accept or not.

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    • 2mo

      @cchris989 Sure we get approached more, but there's no guarantee that we get approached by guys we are interested in. Like imagine you get approached a few times a year (which I'd say is average for a woman) but they were all girls who you just weren't attracted to and had to reject. As opposed to approaching people yourself and getting to choose someone you like.

    • 2mo

      @snowangle What if guys are less picky about the girls that approach them due to the small or nonexistent number that do approach them?

  • Women

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