So I'm dating this girl, but the more I get to know her and ask about her, the more I know she's lying to me. She's not lying to me about her feelings, I know that, but she is hiding many things about her life that I consider important, like drinking. I asked her if she has ever gotten drunk, and she instantly changed her body language and said no. Clearly lying, so I teased her about it and she ended up admitting that she tended to get drunk like once every one/two weeks.
Every time I ask something that may give her a bad image (like getting drunk a lot) she has the same reaction. I've told her that I know she's lying, but she denies it, and starts laughing, knowing she got caught, but she never tells me the truth.
I like this girl and I know she likes me even more, but these lies are kinda worrying me; I don't wanna date someone who has molded her image to what I like, instead of someone who is what I like.
Talk to her about it. It could be your line of questioning or how you are asking it that are getting her defensive so maybe try and make it a more relaxed approach when talking to her so she feels more willing to open up.
Well, it could be that you questioning her comes across like you might judge her if she's honest. Mind you, that's not an excuse on her part, she should be honest and confident in her decisions, even if they are bad habits or were mistakes since it shows she's self aware.
I assume she just really likes you and is afraid of scaring you off. All you can do is tell her that her lying to you concerns you not only because it shows she's dishonest, but it shows she doesn't trust that you won't harshly judge her if she tells the truth.
... Tended to get drunk like once every one/two weeks. There may be More in Store behind her so called "Lying," @AleDeEurope. She could be doing it More than you even Know behind closed doors. I have a Sibling that has been Doing this Drunk Act for years, and it Causes many Problems in the family. She has Binged it, been on and off the wagon, and is Hard to Handle because it is a Hard Habit to Kick. She knows she has a problem but Refuses to go for help. The only Time she is really Fairly "Okay," is when she is Working every Day. However, one never Knows when they will Fall off that Wagon, and it takes Someone Special to Stop being an Enabler and put their Foot Down hard on the Ground to Help them Get... Help for it. From where I am sitting, I see a Pattern with her being this Pie Eyed Problem down a Path of Problems. She knows deep down, Denying it, you call it "Lying," but I think we Both know What it is. The message is in this Bottle. Good luck. xx
I don't think she's moulding to you, it's a social norm to downplay our alcohol consumption especially for a woman, she must be taking time to open up to you or likes you so much doesn't want to give a bad impression however if it escalates into more serious lies then talk!
I couldn't date someone who would lie to me like that , and think nothing of it. Once a person lies to me then every truth becomes questionable
I'd be upfront about how you feel about her lying. Maybe even tell her lying in a relationship is a deal - breaker for you, because it's disrespectful towards you . I'd ask her direct why she feels the need to lie to you
Tell her exactly that you dont want to date someone who is going to mold themselves into what you want you want to be with someone who is exactly who they are because there's no point to dating someone if they are going to act fake... you would rather her be upfront about who she is and what she has to offer as a person because everyone has something to offer because everyone is unique
Give her more time to open up to you. And when she opens up don t judge her. Don t comment negatively on those attitudes in front of her so she won t feel you ll leave her if you knew her more. It s kind ofd sad though... and a bit weak as a personality
Drunk every one to two weeks? She sounds like an alcoholic, and if she's a liar that's very dangerous. You're better off just cutting your losses and finding someone else. The girl you have is disturbed and damaged.
I hear ya man. I just started seeing a girl last month that felt like my female counterpart in terms of common interests, political views, morals, etc
Then this past Sunday, SHE invited me to her place, we hang out, get drinks, have sex our first time when we got back. But before we had sex, I saw an empty condom wrapper that wasn't mine in her bed and she knows I saw it.
Now she's ignoring me, and it's like I don't know if she's embarassed or thinks I'm the bad guy now. Sure we're not exclusive but I don't know what to do now.
A weak mind and personality. Is this really what you want in your life? In your future? Dating is to determine if someone is a fit or not. To discern whether what you see and hear is acceptable or not.