Does he just want to be friends or something more?

There's a man who works at the gym I go to and we've become really good friends over the past few months. We've gone out for drinks a few times but he has never made a move on me. I know he doesn't take anyone else from the gym out for drinks. Most days if he has no clients then he spends all the time I'm there with me, either working out or having coffee, but some days he barely says hello to me.

The other staff at the gym know we go out for drinks (we got seen out one night by someone who works there who told everyone) and I know they are talking about us.

I work in a coffee shop and he said he will come in to see me one day this week although I don't know if he actually will. He sends me jokes via text message but he doesn't text me unless I've sent him one first.

He once mentioned a wife when we first met but has never said anything about her since so I don't know if he is still married and is talking about moving to the town I live implying that he would be moving on his own, and he often talks about his life as if he is on his own - for example when he goes to do "my" grocery shopping and not "our" shopping.

Would a man genuinely develop a close friendship with a female or is he likely to want something more? How can I make it clear that if he is interested then I would like a relationship with him without making a fool of myself?

Help! :-)

Updates:
Thank you for the replies. I now have my answer - he doesn't even want to be friends anymore. Hey ho.


Thanks again

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Most Helpful Girl

  • If there is a wife involved, maybe they are experiencing problems and he is keeping this going with you to either 1) stroke his ego or have companionship with a female without cheating or 2) have a backup plan ready if he and his wife don't work out. Maybe he is on the fence about what to do but is obviously not crossing the line with you. What you don't mention is if you two flirt. It sounds like there is no flirting going on.

    Either way, you need to figure out what is going on. Since he hasn't made a move on you, it wouldn't seem odd for you to mention that you recall he said something about a wife previously and maybe ask if they have kids or something that would make sense as to why you wondered about his wife. If he is single/divorced, well then you can continue to see him and if he just wants friendship he will continue to act as he is. If he wants more, I am sure he will get around to making that clear.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Hello,

    I think the first thing you need to do is establish if this man is marrid, that's a box of snakes you do not want to open if he is...trust me.

    if he's not then lets see what I can come up with.

    Your best chance is to get him out of the gym again, somthing simple like a cup of coffee. while your there flirt with him and do things like toutch his arm, lean in, emulate his body language (ie if he puts his arms forward then you follow his lead), I know it sounds so simple but that's becouse these really are universal signs of female interest, the trick in this is to trigger him to pursuing you, Most guys who are interest in woman will wait for signs from her that she has chosen him and will accept his advances.

    if he's interested in you then he will start to test the water with you and at that point you know your in buisness, however like I said make sure he's single first otherwise you could end up in a world of hurt..

    Good Luck

    -Chris

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  • Find out more about his wife, because is he still is with her you could eb getting into big trouble that you do not need or want

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What Girls Said 1

  • ok first maybe he's shy about talking about relationships or maybe he don't want 2 be and a relationship right now! but there's only one way 2 find out just come out and ask him if he's married or ask him if he wants 2 be and a relationship if he says yes then ask him why he hasn't asked you out. maybe he nervous or scared you'll say no! but just tlk 2 him and ease into it don't be impatient about it because then you might scare him off! ok good luck!

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