Is 4 weeks after a breakup too short of a time to start dating again?

I met this guy - we are very into each other and he says he really likes me. We text constantly and see each other often. I found out after 4 dates that he and his girlfriend of 4 years broke up only a month ago. Now I'm scared. Am I just a rebound? I've continued to see him since but now I'm starting to have real feelings for him and am worried.

  • You're a rebound
    50% (15)45% (20)47% (35)Vote
  • You're not necessarily a rebound
    40% (12)48% (21)45% (33)Vote
  • You're not a rebound
    10% (3)7% (3)8% (6)Vote
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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think you would be taking your chances with him at your own risk here. But just watch the signs does he ever bring his ex up every so now and then or ever act suspicious? If you really don't want to take any chances with him, just gather all your strength and willpower to drop him and drop him forever from your life and start over again. Since it's still in the early phase of this relationship. He's been with ex for much longer than he has with you so he's going to have a deeper emotional attachment to her. But he could have completely moved on, and you just have to watch the signs and at some point confront him directly and be blunt about it if you find him acting strange and unusual and behind your back. Otherwise just drop all contact, or just "ghost" it all together. Or you can just leave him a clear and honest message that you really aren't so sure about this and you just feel that this is unlikely to end well because you do not fully trust him enough to not be just a rebound for him and that it is best for the both of you to go your separate ways. If he actually dropped all contact with his ex, etc., then that could be a good sign that he's legit about moving on from her, that and tossing out all the old materials such as gifts, presents, etc., he had received from her, and maybe even deleted any and all photos, pictures and disconnected from his ex from social media, etc.

    But if he had not and no evidence suggest he had done any of the above I had mentioned, yep, he could be taking you for granted and taking advantage of you only as a rebound. Just drop him early before you'll regret it later.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • One month after break up, I found a man attractive and cute so I was into him and I wanted to get to know him but he's taken. So I gave up on him. I guess the guy was tired of his ex because they were together for 4 year. They may fight a lot but they could be lazy to break up. I think you need to get to know him more.

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What Guys Said 15

  • You are probably a rebound but it depends on how long they were having problems and in they had a prolonged break up.

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  • There is a risk there, but it means nothing until you have good indication that he wants her back. He might be trying to forget her, or maybe he stopped caring a long time ago and only ended the relationship a month ago. So far, we know nothing. So dont presume the worse. That said, it should be mentioned that he might not develop feelings for some time, say 6months maybe? Maybe more. I can't be 100% sure, but it all boils down to how and why him and his ex broke up.

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  • Is 4 weeks after a breakup too short of a time to start dating again?

    Sit down and give your situation some real thought. Take rebound out of the picture entirely and ask yourself how important he is to you and if that matches your importance to him? If you don't know, ask him.
    Did he tell you he was freshly out of a long term relationship or did you just happen to find out?

    Just my opinion

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    • 2mo

      This is a very thoughtful answer. I really appreciate it. He didn't tell me he was out of a long-term relationship until our 3rd or 4th date. I went to his house and saw a few things she left behind (they lived together). She came to box it up this week apparently. He said he was afraid I wouldn't want to give him a chance if he told me. He said e didn't expect to meet someone like me.

  • We would have to know the person you are seeing and know how he is feeling. One possible indicator could be if you try to understand how true his feelings for her were. You can also keep him close, but not too close. This can however cause some frustration with guys. Maybe dive a bit deeper into his feelings and explore how much he likes you. If he is really making a serious effort, you are a lucky girl.

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    • 2mo

      Wow. Great answer. What is a good way to dive into his feelings?

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    • 2mo

      Thank you SO much for this. I really appreciate it :)

    • 2mo

      No worries, pleasure. More importantly the very best of luck to you and I hope it works out for you.

  • Depends on how it ended. If she ended it then probably. He if he did there is a chance (a high chance) it's been longer then 4 weeks since it stopped meaning anything to him.

    Just be careful. You don't have enough information.

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    • 2mo

      Thanks for the help! She cheated and he broke it off. He tried to make it work because she begged him but he eventually ended it. It was a month or so before we met.

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    • 2mo

      Like I said (or tried to say with my terrible typing) he probably isn't thinking of you as a rebound but in all honesty it sounds like you are. Just trying to replace what he lost.

      I'm sorry to say that. It doesn't mean it won't work but maybe talk to him about slowing down.

    • 2mo

      Thank you so much for this input!!

  • Not necessarily... But tread lightly. Girl I started talking to recently broke up with her ex in March and she's not over him. After a $200 first date it would've been nice to know to begin with.

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  • If he still has contact and thoughts about someone else he's not over them. Find someone not already attached to someone else.

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  • Yes you will become the rebound girl if you sleep with him. 4 weeks is not a long time after a long term relationship so be ver careful here or you could get burnt with this guy unsure of who he is and what he wants

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  • Weighs more to being a rebound but depends on the breakup as well, who broke up? If she broke up then 70-80% it's a rebound, if he broke up then not necessarily but it's weird that he would start dating so soon.

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    • 2mo

      She cheated. He broke up with her

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    • 2mo

      thank you for the advice!

      He even told his family about some of his friends about me. I haven't met any of them but it hasn't been long enough.

      He gives me all the indications that he is 100% into me. I'm just afraid his heart is lying to him because he's really suppressing his emotions. I don't know...

    • 2mo

      I've a friend who's been in a relationship with this guy for about 7 years now, it's crazy I know. She met him in a time when he was trying to move on from a girl who cheated on him and dumped him. It took a little bit of time and he was laid back at first but he eventually ended up falling for her (my friend). In your case, the guy is making all the moves so yes, it does seem he likes you for real. :)

      Good luck!

  • Depends on the relationship they had.

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  • i know a guy who went on a date 3 hours after his divorce :p

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  • Dude is trying to move on
    If you are worth it, you won't be just a rebound

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  • No I'd say with each individual it depends.

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  • Most likely a rebound but be cautious. A girl I was seeing told me she just got out of a 5 year relationship after our first date. She didn't complain about the ex or bring him up but I ended up finding a different major red flag recently, and she's been dodging me.

    It's a shame because we have a lot in common and hit it off big time. That can overshadow things like her being recently single.

    dating someone on the rebound is like playing with fire. It can be fun at first, but if you're not careful, you'll get burned.

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  • You need more time. Let's try four months as a minimum...

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What Girls Said 5

  • if you found love you found love

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  • That's way too short and you need to give yourself a break. Jumping from one relationship to another would not guarantee a successful relationship.

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  • You're not necessarily a rebound. I mean personnally when my boyfriend dumped me, it was a Friday and I started dating again Saturday and it wasn't a rebound.
    If he doesn't love me I don't see why I should cry about him.

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  • Rebound

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  • Yes you are...

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