Do people actually "date" anymore?

I'm a 19-year-old virgin who is just a bit old fashioned. Whenever I ask a girl out, the first date goes great, but after that they tell me they're not looking for a relationship, just a hookup. They cut me off because they don't want to "corrupt" me. Whatever happened to taking your time? Everyone is just out for sex now and it makes no sense to me. I'm a hopeful romantic. I'm in love with the thought of being in love. I'm down for the chase, but it seems like there are so many people now who just want instant gratification. Sometimes I wonder if I should just give in and join the club.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Sweetheart, be direct. When you ask her out, tell her then and there that you're looking for classic dating and not sex. She'll tell you right then and there if that's a problem. You will find the right lady really soon. And hey, I face this problem too, and I'm 24. Patience and prayer is the key!

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Aw man I know what you mean. I actually had one that wanted to try and "corrupt me" needless to say she ended up picking up that check. I got out of there fast. All of the women at my college seem to want a few things
    1 just sex-freinds with benefits
    2 to make fun of me when I try freindily approach them and try to strike up conversation.
    3 a quick relationship existing online or in person between classes until they feel that we can go to the next level-sex.
    No don't just give up and join the club stay unique and wait for your future wife. Who is waiting for you looking for someone with your values and views.

    I eventually just kind of gave up looking for women at college after an incident where I started freindlily talking with a lesbain. We talked for 5 minutes she let me know that she was into ladies and she had a girl freind still I was freindly with her and continued talking with her. After a few more minutes of us having fun talking her girlfreind comes around the corner of the building and without warning throws her hot coffee on me. After which she starts acting out calling me a creep and making a scene. After I walked away thankfull that none got on my back pack. I looked back to see her girlfreind consoling her which quickly lead to kissing. Boy did I feel used. If she had given me some warning, maybe had thrown water on me or cold coffee. I would not have cared as much. However she threw her hot coffee right at my neck. Just to impress her girlfreind and show her how "loyal" she is.

    After that I started looking for women at my church. After a few misses- still sluts or miss matches. I noticed my freind after knowing her a year somehow I have developed feelings for her and I'm trying to get my courage up to ask her on a date. I have been making it pretty clear that I like her these past few months so unless she is really dense she gets that I like her.

    Keep looking around man. The right girl is out there for you. Sometimes you just have to look for a while, in different places, try different online websites.

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What Girls Said 18

  • Good question. I've given up on dating as well. I have never had a boyfriend.. I wanted to wait to have sex with someone I was dating but I was just too curious. I have been with guys for purely sexual purposes but I would much rather have a boyfriend.. but I haven't been able to find a guy who is interested in a romantic relationship. I think when it comes to dating, you just have to let it happen naturally. The only person I every dated long term was a woman and it was reallllyy random. We started out as friends, hooked up when we were drunk and fell in love and stayed together for 3 years. I wasn't expecting it and I wasn't looking for it.. it just happened. Most relationships seem to be like this, someone will just drop into your life one day when you least expect it. Looking for a relationship has never ever worked for me.

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  • Don't let go of your values. Be true to yourself and you'll meet the right match.

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  • Not everyone is looking for a hook up. But it's true that nowadays, it's more common that people want to "live their life" as that is what they call it. Keep looking, and you'll find a girl that is also looking for a relationship, and not for just a one night stand.

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  • I wouldn't date a black guy but all i can say is keep looking i guess

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    • 2mo

      May I ask why?

    • Show All
    • 2mo

      @BabyLaLa69
      I honestly like girls in general, if she's attractive she's attractive. I don't really have a race preference. That being said, do you consider me unattractive? And if you do, is it because of my skin color or just because of how much face is? Also, have a nice day :)

    • 2mo

      Im sorry if i was honest, i shouldn't of even said that. But believe me that i am not racist, im just really really picky.
      I said i wouldn't date a black man because i would feel degraded walking around with a black guy.

  • Most guys would probably be thrilled if they were in your situation. Anyway, there are girls who look for long term relationships, but it's also nice to have a quick hook up evey now and again.

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  • I know the feeling.
    My technical first boyfriend only wanted me for sex and when I didn't give him it he got mad. So I broke up with him

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  • Where are you looking for these women lol most of the people I know are looking for a guy who wants a relationship and are sick of hook ups

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  • Listen, this is 2016, the world is fucked, try to find a girl that is not... 2016ish

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  • Right here... I still date :)

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  • Your not a follower... so dont start now.

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  • I'm done talking to you.

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  • That's sad

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  • I find black men unattractive compared to other minorities

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  • Don't give up because you won't get anywhere doing that. I'm the same way with these things, I finally met someone who doesn't just want sex though. Everything takes time, just know how the girl is. If she is a fuckboy type girl she's not worth your time. You won't find the one right away but keep looking, true love isn't fake but it is hard to find.

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  • I tend to stay away from blacks

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    • 2mo

      Why is that?

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    • 2mo

      So true

    • 2mo

      @Little-Hippie Ah, that makes sense actually. Lol I'm a little embarrassed I didn't realize that myself. Thanks for telling me.

  • It just depends on the person. Some people are down for just dating. But with the society as live in today not very many people like to wait they just wanna get sex done and over with. But done have sex just to have it keep waiting tell you meet the right one. Or at least someone you trust.

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  • sluts gonna slut

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What Guys Said 16

  • I am 30 years old and virgin as well.

    To be fair, the first 26-27 years I knew nothing about women and was nervous about even kissing a woman. But now that's not the case, in fact the opposite is the case. I have trouble finding women who aren't trying to sleep with me on the first or second date.

    Don't let anyone tell you that not sleeping with a woman automatically means you're not a masculine guy. ALL mentally healthy people want a lasting monogamous relationship. Any man who claims to be some alpha male who never wants to commit to a single woman is only lying to himself. It's human nature and genuine intimacy is what all people crave. Sex is a part of that, but having a woman who you connect with and love and who loves you is also a big part.

    It is unfortunate that so many people these day want to jump into sex with almost anyone as soon as they can, but you just have to get out in public and kerp meeting people until you find a woman who shares your values.

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  • My advice is dont advertise yourself as a good man down for commitment if you want the best chance at a girl. They dont like that, you're expecting a lot from them (commitment with no physical pleasure) and come off as a bit needy too.

    The ideal male in Western society has gravitas, lusts for many women, rejects many women, has social and financial success, and must be a beast to be cages or a prize to be won.

    In every sample population of millenials I've witnessed, these types of men are sought after by women. Nice romantic guys can wipe feces.

    That's how it is. God used to be a boogeyman that enforced some constraint, but society is far more liberal and secular now.

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  • Same here.. Usually white girls who act like that, i was having sex with a white girl for about 2 months straight but she never accepted me as a boyfriend maybe because im Mexican, and you're black even worst

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    • 2mo

      Do you think I am stereotyped because of my skin color?

    • 2mo

      We are both stereotyped as the scum because of our skin color my son

    • 2mo

      @Frankie1G
      Heyy mr. I wouldn't just fuck you and not claim you. Are u kidding?
      You're pretty cute and i date whites & Latinos. U just not meeting the right people

  • I'd say wait a few more years to see if you can find a like minded girl but if you haven't found a match by 24 then just give in. You don't want to end up being a 27 year old virgin when all of the girls in your age range have had 6-18 partners.

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  • Maybe you need to start going back to church girls as you are chasing the wrong sort of easy girls. Not every girl just wants to hook up. However to answer your question some people don't date because the Internet gives everyone options with one click or swipe. Modern dating has become shallow why invest money and emotion in that!

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  • I read his post like 4 times just to be sure. What does he being black have anything to do with his question? So people don't go on dates anymore 'cause' this one kid is black?

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  • Pretty much, because that's what they believe they are supposed to do. Not all people are like that though. Just be yourself and if a girl doesn't respect that then forget about her.

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  • You can get relationships but it's hard to find a good relationship. Live by that. A lot of people don't even get to the relationship stages or the relationship just consists of fucking.

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  • You're clearly talking to the wrong girls. Go for the ones who don't wear any makeup.

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  • they do

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  • Sure. Dating is fun!

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  • yes people still date and want relationship... But most young people want hook ups why? Its fun its fast... Keep looking

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  • What's with the girls saying they wouldn't date blacks?

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    • 2mo

      Preferences i guess.. They want cute Latinos like me or whites guys

    • 2mo

      @Frankie1G they read the title of the post and saw his profile and basically went from there. it's more confusing than anything.

    • 2mo

      @MrAtticusLebowski
      Dumb girls lol

  • Yes, people do otherwise everyone would be single, but that being said with how popular online dating is, it has become much harder to find a relationship. Mostly due to people having many options.

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  • I'd tell a girl in this situation to keep looking.

    In yours? I'd go forward with the hookup and see what develops.

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  • Nope, i don't see the point in dating. Why date when women are prepared to open their legs wide open. GOO lawd... please don't be old fashioned. You will get left behind. Women today only want one thing... a great F#$% and that's all. Women don't care about having a family or kids. Nope women are selfish and only desire power and wealth. Why do you think assholes have swarms of women around them.

    Being nice and courteous to a women is like shooting yourself in the foot.

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