I just want to know from The horses mouth truthfully what this is about. I'm tired of even meeting people anymore because it's like you go with the flow and no matter how cool you play it -when things start to feel serious all of a sudden there's a shift in behavior and you feel them withdraw after they've sucked you in. I just want to know why the hell they do that and if it's something legitimate or just an excuse, like do I just shut off any attempts at communication and wait for him like I'm not with this what ever happen to only making moves and treating someone special if you had real intent and actually being able to be honest about it. Now a days it's like your just expected to be strung a long and wait for him to tell you where you stand in his life wtf is that crap?
Most Helpful Guy
Read the book Mars and Venus on a date, there is some discussion on that topic although it is more viewed as a stage... but talks about how to handle it.
Why... I did that once real bad around your age. What it reall is... is doubts... which is related to fear and lack of confidence. It may be self esteem as well.
To overcome it, at least in my case, the girl would have had to back off a bit as well and reassure and slow down. Basically, if one person starts getting ahead of the other, then the other starts to backoff. So take a step back yourself, but don't disappear and run away, step back, talk a bit... don't make it all personal and don't get emotional and feel rejected and slowly re-engage.
Honestly, counseling will help both of you at that point understand the reactions... because those reactions are emotional stuff under the hood... we don't always know why we do stuff, its a reflex.
Guys are notoriously slow at committing... they'll do everything carefree, but when it comes time to commit, they will back off... because it is a huge deal in our minds. In the girls, you are already there fantasizing about the wedding...