I need advice on what to do next with this girl I like a lot?

I really need help on this one guys, I have been living in turmoil for the past couple of weeks; can't stop thinking about her and what I should and could do to be with her and no it's not just to get inside her pants I truly like her a lot.

So here is the situation, we have met a year ago but only got close last two months and currently we are just friends but I am positive that she knows I like her, however she is the shy/introvert type which is why she never initiate contact and I know it's not a bad sign as a friend of mine who is like a brother to her ( she actually call him brother ) told me she never initiate contact even to guys she is crushing on. We meet and text regularly ( texting mostly ) and we enjoy each other company a lot.

Anyway the bad part starts here, before we got close a guy broke up with her badly it ended really badly I won't get into details and sadly before I knew about it she met a guy and now he is her current boyfriend. I know what everyone gonna say now "girls with boyfriends are lost cause" but here is the thing, this guy is a jerk and just bad news, last week he made her cry and yelled at her in front of a lot people because she wouldn't go into a club with him ( i know because she told me about it ).
I asked my close friend what does she say about her boyfriend and he told me "never a complaint she only complains about him" also she told me she is thinking about breaking up with her boyfriend but she has feelings for him...

Please advise me on what to do next I don't want to lose this girl and every time I think about that guy and how he treat I get so mad I sometimes think of going to him and smack some sense into him but thats just plain stupid :/

Any help would be highly appreciated <3

1mo Also if you are wondering how do I know if she like me back or not, I really dont but I got some good signs that she does, she even told her mother about me and said that they joked about us being together ( she mentioned said out of the blue).


What Girls Said 1

  • I am sorry, but you cannot force her to like you. She sees you as her friend and you're being her emotional tampon, while her boyfriend is mistreating her. She does not see you as a boyfriend material.


What Guys Said 1

  • From what you've said it sounds like you're the stereotypical nice guy stuck in the friendzone with a girl who has a jerk boyfriend and you're the one she turns to when she needs emotional support... Stop that, if she's currently dating a jerk... It shows her type.. By being there for her all the time, it's not going to make her become attracted to you.. She'll just see you as someone to rely on whenever she needs someone to talk to.

    Here's what you need to do, back away. Don't be available to her, talk to other girls, focus on your own things. If she comes to you for help, sure, help her... But make sure she has to actually put in effort to come to you and spend time with you, you should never be available for her whenever she needs. If she breaks up with her boyfriend, again... She's got to come to you, not the other way around.

    When I say she's into jerks, I don't mean she's into guys that treat her badly, it's guys that are confident, somewhat emotionally unobtainable, they've got a lot going on, they're not going to give her everything she wants when she asks for it, they're assertive, dominant etc... All those characteristics a lot of typical jerks have, just they have a lot of shitty ones as well. I can't normally name a single guy who has those kind of characteristics who is waiting it out in the friendzone.