Guys, Men. Can you please answer this question?

I have been on at least two different dates in the last three weeks, and both dates lasted about 4 to 5 hours (both dates!). They were fantastic dates, a lot of laughter, chemistry, and low key, laid back no-pressure banter. Both times, the guys ended up holding my hand toward the end of the date. Both times, and without me saying ANYTHING, the guys said they were interested in getting together again.

Prior to the date, there was heavy texting. Nothing inappropriate, just friendly chatting. Then the great date happens. After the date... nothing. Silence. Two days later, sometimes three or four, nothing. So, I reach out with a harmless "hey, how's your day?" Crickets. If the guy is so unhappy on the date, why stick around for 4 or 5 hours? Why hold my hand? Why tell me he is interested in going out again and then nothing.

Is it really the kiss of death for a girl to reach out to a guy a few days later?

Please explain this unusual mating behavior.


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What Guys Said 3

  • Wouldn't really know I've never done that to anyone

    But guess we need to look for certain subtle but obvious things like who's doing most of the talking during the date, body language etc these things say a lot if one knows to understand them.

    Sometimes extreme courtesy & assertiveness can also be a type of condolence message of sorts that actually means "I don't think we'll meet again"

    There are no thumb rules to these

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    • 2mo

      Thank you for your response. I know posting these kinds of questions are difficult to answer. You are not standing over us watching the date to see body language, etc.

      One last question to you: If a woman reaches out first after a date, do you consider that a bad thing? Needy? Stalker-y?

    • 2mo

      This again is an individual thing depending on how one perceives it. Not everyone's analytical skills are good.

      I'd take it from situation to situation.

      However, at the outset I don't perceive them as needy or anything degrading

  • These are guys you are dating, so I don't know why you are troubled by this, but there could be many reasons a person doesn't respond to a text message.

    It's also possible they are also dating other people and they aren't focused on you.

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  • Girls do the exact same thing lol

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