Is the feeling of butterflies necessary to have a loving, happy, long relationship?

I've feel so comfortable with him, the thought of losing each other brought me and him to tears. But we don't feel the butterflies... Is something wrong? We've been seeing each other for over a year now


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Most Helpful Guy

  • No, relationships are built over time. Just keep going like you are. Keep getting to know eachother. Time will tell whether or not you two were meant to be.

    Enjoy your time together. I wish you both the best, and I hope he is the one for you!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • No, attraction is far more complicated than that. I think the fact that you're almost in tears over losing each other says enough. It shows an attraction far deeper than physical.

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What Guys Said 9

  • It won't last forever though, typically that's the beginning and earliest phases when you two first met. Eventually, over time it will slowly fade away, and then it becomes a constant test of each other's loyalty, trust and faith for each other, as well as willingness and cooperation from both you and him to work together to continue to grow the relationship together and not allow it to fall into stagnancy such as from total comfort.

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  • Yes, the butterflies are a requirement because it's physical attraction. There is no point without sexual attraction.

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  • Butterflies (especially when in formation... LOL) are when you first meet a person or are in anticipation of something (say getting their number). You say you're comfortable with him so wouldn't that kind of defeate the purpose of knowing him well?

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  • Nothing wrong at all. Love progresses through stages, with the butterflies and hormones of early on giving way to calm and content settled love. Eventually, two people will reach the point where they become one and can't imagine the other not being there anymore. The butterflies are worthless compared to that feeling, so don't worry about them being gone.

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  • Whaatt? Lol, the butterflies are a lie.. just some metaphor invented by poets..

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  • The butterflies go away eventually so better get used to it. Unless you plan on getting a new guy every couple years for the rest of your life.

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  • That butterflies feeling lasts for a few months, maybe a full year. After that it just stops. Happens to all people, its normal.

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  • Love works in imaginable ways. When you love someone, you'll know it. It's something you feel and something you can't control.

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  • They say if you meet somebody and your heart pounds, your hands shake, your knees go weak, that’s not the one. When you meet your ‘soul mate’ you’ll feel calm. No anxiety, no agitation.

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What Girls Said 7

  • No. Its not about butterflies. Thats what you call discomfort and intestinal issues. You don't have to lose to each other. If you love each other then your fine. You being together for over a year proves that. There is nothing wrong. Nothing is a requirement except what you two want for this relationship. Not what we think. What does he and you want out of this? That is what you should be focus on. You two have the potential to last if that is what you both want. Not by feelings but by action. Only you two can make it last, everything is a choice. If you both chose to end the relationship, that's on the both of you. I believe that you two are focusing on all the wrong things. Take your time. What you two got is beautiful and unique, pure and innocent. Don't let this ruin that. If you two really feel for each other like that, then get married. Because that's what this looks like the signs are saying if you two have to cry about it. You both don't want to lose each other over something you two can regret by not waiting.

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  • Are you spending enough time apart?

    Butterflies can come back but you need to make an effort to be constantly independent.
    Simple things like changing up your style or look.
    Both of you simply getting a haircut and starting a new hobby can make your attraction to him grow.

    Love is a funny thing but it's all about your imagination.
    If you BELIEVE you still fancy the pants off each other.. you will start acting like you did when you first started dating.

    It's really nice when you think you know someone but they keep surprising you or impressing you.

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  • No, not necessarily.
    The feeling of 'butterflies in your stomach' is really just resulting from the huge amount of hormones/adrenaline that your body releases in the early stages of a relationship. It really depends on the couple in question but the butterflies are nothing more than a physiological response. Something that can be important, but is not what most 'loving, happy, and long-lasting relationships' are built entirely on, y'know?

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  • Some people don't get butterflies. And sometimes you love someone and you're attracted to them but you don't get them either, for whatever reason. If there's love and attraction and a desire to be with him that's what counts.

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  • I don't know sorry

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  • No the fact that you don't wanna lose him says enough. If it feels right then don't change it.

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