Is it ok to say "goodbye" to a crush forever?

I've tried countless times to date a girl, but couldn't. As naive as I am, I've always thought that she was just playing really hard to get, but it's been like 9 months and I'm losing hope. In the beginning she was extremely close to me, now she's cold and distant.

Although she says that she's busy and that she's been having a lot of problems, I'm feeling that she wants me out of her life but she doesn't know how to do it. And since I'm going abroad to never return, I wanted to write her one last time to say something like "Sorry to have ever bothered you. I'll leave you alone".

I just want to hear what she really thinks. I've always suspected that she has a boyfriend that she's been hiding from her family, since I always talk to her parents and brother and no one knows anything.

I don't expect a happy-ending where she confesses her love to me and asks me to never leave. I just want to hear "Yes, I want you out of my life" or "Yes, I must admit I have a boyfriend so that's why I can't be with you"

Again, this is what I feel. Any trace of possible "chemistry" between us has disappeared. We don't talk a lot like in the past, and she seems to have stopped caring about me.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I was in a similar position at one time in my life, the hardest decision was finally letting go of the idea that he liked me back and was too afraid to admit or I would tell myself maybe he will come to his senses one day and realize I am the one he is meant for but sadly after many months he never did and opted to date other girls. But he did at least tell me that he was infatuated with another girl at the time I was chasing him but of course I wouldn't listen and all it ever got me was heartbreak and depression. I say move on and forget about her, it is really what is best. Plus you will be meeting so many new people and having new experiences to take your mind off! Even if she doesn't respond to your letter now, I am sure one day she will look back and regret not giving a guy like you a chance.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Do not say a word. Just walk away. In this case, the words are empty. Only action speaks. The bright side is, lets say she changes her mind... she can come back to you without having to confront this issue directly if her mind has changed.

    But I wouldn't bank on that. I would walk away, and move on. Take back the power. Make that move. You will be better off in the long run.

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What Girls Said 2

  • What if she likes you, though? What will you do? Perhaps things are just really as complicated as she says they are... I've been in a situation like hers & I still am. Sometimes circumstances don't allow you to let in the people you want. Why not just ask her straight if she likes you? So what if you get rejected, at least you tried.

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    • 2mo

      If this is the case, don't you think it will drive her to make the adjustments needed to straighten things out to make room for him? People have a tendency of becoming complacent when they can just stick things on the back burner to be dealt with later. If she misses him and wants him there, she will try harder to work through her complications.

  • Sometimes that's necessary to survivie and get over them.

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What Guys Said 5

  • My vote is to just drop it and walk away. Chances of you getting the answer you want are very low. The answer you do get (or don't get) may hurt you more than if you just leave it alone.
    But what do I know, that is just my opinion

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  • been there done that
    now she's inviting me to a party with friends. i decided to ignore her for good.
    unless she calls you or whatnot, dont even bother man. move on

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  • That's needed sometimes to move on

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  • You need to move on, you gave her more than enough opportunities

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  • If she wants to hide her boyfriend why would she tell you now?

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