Should I just give up and accept that I'll never find love?

Should i just give up and accept that I'll never find love?

I'm 18 years old and i've never had a single girlfriend. Its getting to the point where i have basically stopped trying. I've tried being outgoing, i've tried acting like a bad boy, i've tried all sorts of methods and no luck. I don't even talk to girls at this point since i don't want to waste my time, but whenever i see a really cute girl in class or something i at least take a glance at them... but never think of saying anything. Maybe i'm just physically unattractive.. is that it? It's not like i'm out of shape or anything i actually work out just about every week and have some muscle... Maybe i have some kind of curse lol but seriously i don't know what to do and i'm tired of the same results... Anyways i am currently a freshman in college and so far i haven't talked to or made friends with anyone... i'm a natural introvert and prefer to stay to myself and think things through. That being said i have a hanaquaintances. I guess i just feel incompetent when im around an attractive girl. In middle and highschool i was much more outgoing and i talked A LOT... but in elementary school and now i'm back to being an introvert...


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Most Helpful Girl

  • This makes me sad... I wish that this never happened to people and that the world was perfect. My advice, NEVER give up. You don't need a girlfriend to find true love. My parents never even dated! And they are living happily ever after as far as I can tell! :) You might not find that special. someone now, but you have to be patient. The modern world. makes people who don't have girlfriends/boyfriends look bad but this is Wrong. Just be yourself!!! Someday, someone special lady will fall in love with YOU, and not who you are trying to pretend to be!!! :) She'll find you, someday!!! Good luck!!!

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Most Helpful Guy

  • You are only 18, well I would say that is your choice. Like if you know what kind of a person you are, if you know what your standards and if you know for sure that there is every chance that a woman can't match to your standards ( naturally) then you can come to the conclusion of never finding love.

    You finding love or not by large depends on what kind of a person you are. If you are very closed minded, you are rigid, your thinking is very uptight, your standards are very uncompromising, strict and high and if you give importance to both physical looks and personality, in that case chances of you finding love becomes very less.

    Coming to you, no you are not physically unattractive, you are good looking no doubt about that. From your post there are certain things you shouldn't do, like you shouldn't try to act like a bad boy, you shouldn't forcibly try to be outgoing if you are not, you should be yourself. Never fake yourself that won't help you at all. Secondly you said that you never try to talk to women, now that is a big setback, now if you are not doing that which means you are simply waiting for a woman to notice you and approach you, a woman to take the first step. Yes, I understand maybe that's your incapacity to make the first and yes it's possible that a woman can make the first move, however if you are waiting for this to happen let me tell you the chances are less, you are bringing down your chances by 50% already.

    Believe it or not, though times are changing, trends are changing even today men are expected to pursue a woman , they are expected to make the first move. Yes women are making the first move, they do but it's still less compared to men so by you not doing anything your chances ( of finding love) comes down by a good margin.

    There is nothing wrong is you being a introvert, and no it's not a curse or something.

    Another point is you may not like to hear this, not everyone finds love, some people they keep trying but they never find it. Only a few manage to find love.

    Yes, everyone deserves to be loved but not everyone finds love, not everyone gets love.

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What Girls Said 13

  • You look fine. Maybe you should gain more confidence because woman look for a guy with confidence and knows what he wants exactly. Go and focus on a goal and forget about finding a girl, you'll cross paths some day, but don't rush it. Good things don't come that easy.

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  • hunny you are 18 please get over yourself. Most people don't find their soulmate in highschool

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  • you're not ugly and you are way too young to obsess over this

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  • its hard being a natural introvert because the obvious answer is "talk to more girls". I would recommend joining groups, clubs, etc that you actually have some interest in and try to bond with everybody there. This way you will either meet a girl there, or you will at least have a bigger community of friends who could introduce you to more people. Even if you don't feel super comfortable putting yourself out there, being in these places that bring people together will make it easier. Once you feel more comfortable then you might have an easier time approaching people.

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  • Never give up. I never had a boyfriend before and I know how you feel. However, just be yourself and try to open yourself towards everyone. Who knows if someone will love you just the way you are.

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  • @CosmicShores do you have any advice?

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  • You're young, some people are 40 and they still haven't find love

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    • 2mo

      How is this helpfull? If anything this makes people like him feel worse.

    • Show All
    • 2mo

      Most people over the age of 40 - especially men find it almost near impossible to find love mainly because of their age, they are regarded by society as people who have something wrong with them - be it physical attraction or over all social behaviour. Just because they didn't find it back then doesn't mean they will find it at the age of 40, if anything i would say their chances are even more lower.

    • 2mo

      Well I wasn't trying to say that, maybe I wasn't clear enough, some people are 40 and they still haven't find love, maybe they're married to someone they just like not love, or maybe they're looking for love

  • You're still only 18 dude.. no need to rush things.. you have a whole life ahead.

    Ask yourself WHY you ''need'' or even want a girlfriend at this point in your life yet. One day, eventually, you will find it. Maybe it's just not the right time. Don't blame yourself. Just keep being yourself and dont pretend to be someone you're not is the best advice I can give you.. I'm not really experienced either though lol.. everyone around me is in a relationship too and I'm wondering what's wrong with me so I know how you feel.

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  • Dude, you're 18. Chill the fuck out. Literally all you have to do is stop overthinking things and actually talk to girls. Being an introvert can be tough, especially when you're constantly thinking everything through because that can cause you to overthink things and psych yourself out. Just stop thinking, count to 3, and then go talk to whatever girl you wanna talk to.

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  • I have to wonder if your fishing for compliments here. I'm old enough to be your granny. But your a cute kid and maybe you just need to give it time. Sometimes people are just busy or shy. Do something you enjoy hobby or interests wise and maybe they'll find you.

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  • Well you can't say your destined to be alone when for a start your only 18. Secondly you've admitted you don't even try talk to them. So clearly you need to get over that fear before even trying

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  • you're only 18, youve got all your life ahead of you to find love, relax...

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What Guys Said 5

  • Hey man don't let this be depressing! Use your thoughts for good as being an introvert is a good thing too! I'd consider my self inbetween an introvert and extrovert. Anyways, I've never had a girlfriend either and as much as I want one it has just not happened yet for me! It just feels so lonely that I am the only one without a girlfriend and all of my other friends have one. The only thing people like us can do is look at the positives and I do that by trying to play some video games or even work on my novel and my own video game called JFHS!

    Get yourself a hobby to get it out of your head as eventually we will find someone perfect for ourselves! Rushing it is also never a good idea because I've tried that with a few girls and that just led to them taking advantage of me and never like me back 😭

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  • No. Just stop trying so hard. Live your life. Advance your work or education. Hang out with your friends. Do whatever it is that brings you joy. Try as hard as you can to stop tearing yourself down. There is no key to finding love other than to be yourself and never give anyone a dishonest picture of who you are. Just keep doing these things and eventually you'll find someone who sees you for you and diggs it.

    Good luck!

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  • You've posted this before

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  • Nah bro you just gotta keep trying there's someone for everyone and your only 18 you have your whole life ahead of you and you have muscle that helps I wouldn't stress it to hard but learn how to play it smooth when talking to a girl

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  • 18 years old. Give up.
    LMAO.
    Don't know what to say.

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