Boyfriend says I'm "too nice"?

My boyfriend of almost a year told me the other day that I'm "too nice" all the time and he wants to see my "bitchy side."
I don't really know how to take that, I'm a pretty mellow and easy going person and I like to be nice. To be honest, I don't know if I even have a bitchy side lol.
How do I be less "nice"? Is this something a lot of guys don't like?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I do not believe this is something a lot of 'guys' like, but more importantly this is a personality trait of the one you're with. This is unique to him just as everyone is unique in their own perspective of what they find attractive and what they desire. That's not to say that 'everyone' is this way. It is more likely he's finding it alluring or seductive for you to have a 'bitchy' side as you call it and wants to see you bring it out. Perhaps he enjoys being with strong, dominant, women and he's hoping perhaps you have that side to your nature, but he doesn't know how to just come right out and tell you this is one of his kinks. Perhaps he's too shy in that regard, or doesn't know exactly why he feels this way, he just does, and he's expressing it to you the only way he understands how. My advice is if this doesn't offend you overly much and you feel inclined to great his request, then by all means show him your bitchy side and have fun with it. If you don't want to, because that's not who you are, then follow your instincts and your heart and do what makes you the happiest. That's my bottom line.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Maybe he means give your own opinion more often and say what you want to happen. For me "too nice" means being overly pleasing to ths other person and ignoring your own needs.

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What Guys Said 20

  • Perhaps he wants to see your bitchy side because he feels that you might be too much of a doll and that he wants a challenge. I won't be able to articulate my thoughts as well but maybe he has things he wants to say but feels that you are too nice and fragile to take it so he wants to see this "other side" to feel more comfortable about it. Perhaps he just wants to tease you and feels it would be fun. Just some random thoughts I suppose.

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  • Stay nice!!! This guy is not all guys I promise. I love nice girls ❤️

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  • Just what the anon said. "Don't change, you're gold." If he wants a girl with a bitchy side, that's his problem. Don't try to be someone you're not just because it's what he wants. In fact always be you no matter what anyone says.

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  • Lol, i can kinda see what he means. For me personally, I don't like it when girls are always too nice. It's like there's nothing to pursue, like if they're always nice then there's no need to 'win her round again'. I think some guys like that challenge, it keeps them on their toes. Of course, if it's not naturally you, then maybe you could just play around sometime and pretend, see how he reacts, then that might give you more clues about what he likes about it.

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  • Kinda weird honestly, why would he want to see anyone's bitchy side LOL. Being nice is a great quality, being laid back and easy going is like perfect.

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  • I think what he's trying to get at is, "when he gets you really mad for some stupid reason, what are you like."

    I'd actually ask a gal what she's like when she gets upset.

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  • Maybe he wants to be your little bitch in bed, told what to do

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  • U could try being a little more sassy and give him a hard time about things. even if ur not serious about what ur teasing him about.

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  • this is werider than my browser history :p
    he may have femdom fantasy

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  • Yeah the problem with nice is that it's boring.

    You gotta add in a little spice ya know. Tease each other. Keep his heart going.

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  • Maybe he's just taken aback because he's used to dating bitches or something? That's weird though. I'd find it refreshing to be with a laid back chick who wasn't "bitchy" if that's what I was used to.

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  • WTF? You have a weird boyfriend that should be careful what he asks for.

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  • you are too good for him then

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  • Kick him in the nuts.

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  • You are too amiable. I understand exactly what he means. Conflict is healthy, get in petty arguments sometimes.

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  • he's getting bored of the relationship .

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  • He's prepping to break up with you.

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  • tell him to find a mean bitch because you are not like that

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  • Pour salt in his drinks.
    Fill his shampoo bottle with glue.
    Take a dump on his kitchen table.

    Then ask him if he still wants you to not be so nice.

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  • Don't change. You're gold ❤️

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What Girls Said 3

  • Hard to know since I dont know ya. Possibilities: He's kinda bored. Maybe its passivity he means, not necessarily 'kindness'. Check yourself. See if there's a little wildness in ya somewhere that you could tap into. Could be He's really really bored and frustrated: Maybe he's having to make all the decisions, carry all the conversations, doesn't even wanna listen to amenable agreement all the time?
    Laid-back can be taken to the extreme.
    Ask him- I'll be bitchy for ya- give me an example and lets see just what ya mean. See what he does. Could be harmless. Or something you dont want to do. Or you might find a more aggressive/assertive side of your personality just dieing to come out. And then maybe that will balance out the relationship better. Who knows.

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  • Don't be less nice being nice is a good thing being a good person is a good thing he was either joking or he's a shit starter who wants to see your bitchy side than act like a bitch when you start being a bitch

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  • There Is Nothing Wrong With It At All As Long As You Don't Let People Take Advantage Of You.😀😊😋🙌🙌🙌👍👍👍

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