How do you deal with someone acting hot and cold?

If you like someone and they give you mixed signals by acting hot and cold at times, wishy washy, etc then how do you handle it?

Do you wait it out and see if they change? Or do you end it completely?

I think when people act this way, it takes the fun out of dating and makes you over analyze things.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Well if a person is giving me hot and cold signals I usually assume they are not all that fond of me. If a person likes you, you'll know. They will make it obvious. They will want to talk to you and see you. If they aren't doing that, and you know for a fact that they are not going through some things, then it's time to walk away.

    Find someone who is into you, not someone who is lukewarm about you.

    If someone is acting hot and cold towards me, I usually ask them straight up what is up. And I try to figure out if they are in fact interested or not. But if they aren't acting as if they want me around, I don't hang around much longer.

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    • 2mo

      True. Yeah from this person, we had a 3 1/2 week gap between our first 2 dates. She'd text every other day and send snap chats, like a lot of my Instagram posts but then I'd ask her out once a week on the weekends and she'd say she's busy without offering to reschedule then out of the blue ask me to hang out.

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    • 1mo

      This person sounds like too much trouble! She invited you over then acted like you were an inconvenience? That to me is not right. Not worth your time, move on and find someone who is going to be happy to be around you :)

    • 1mo

      Yeah it's like I don't know if she left because of my facial expression due to the condom wrapper even though I didn't say anything, just wanted sex, thought the sex was bad, or liked the other guy better but it really messed me up.

      Especially because she was all over me leading up to it and in the middle of making out, she was telling me about what drew her to me in the first place, bought me drinks, kept on flirting and getting touchy feely with me while we got drinks before we had sex. I had not been this depressed in awhile. I thought I was going insane.

What Girls Said 6

  • Some people are moody. Im too decisive and to the point to get along very well with moody people. I distance myself. Sign of emotional issues. Tends to be a persistent trait for people.

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  • I guess I'd wait a little bit (few weeks maybe). If he doesn't change then sayonara baby!

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    • 2mo

      Yeah sometimes you gotta wait it out. But it seems like it's not worth the stress, anxiety and over analyzing it causes. Feels like you're jumping through hoops and obstacles for that person. Ain't nobody got time for that.

  • I agree. Id quit.

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  • I move on

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  • I don't know you have to do what you think is right

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    • 2mo

      True, too bad it already ended though. I was just a rebound to her, even though I proceeded with caution. Still got screwed over due to a messed up finding.

    • 2mo

      thats a shame hopefully you will find someone better suited

    • 2mo

      Yeah it was very fucked up. The last week we were in talk, she was hitting me up a bunch through text, social media, etc and then the last time we saw each other, she invited me to her place and we had sex at the end of the night, but I found an empty condom wrapper that wasn't mine on her bed. I couldn't really say too much as we weren't official, but that's still messed up. She ended up ditching me afterwards which was weird because she's the one who fucked up.

      That being said, I don't think it'd be any better if a guy did the same to a girl with the condom thing.

  • You want to know why it may seem to you that we act hot and cold? That's because usually the day influence our mood. Just like for men as well. It's not something we come up with to annoy you. We either feel comfortable or we dont. It's simple as that.

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    • 2mo

      I get that but if they're constantly acting hot and cold, its a red flag. This girl also just got out of a 5 year relationship so that could have had something to do with it.

What Guys Said 1

  • Do the same thing. That way you're even and it's not going to go anywhere.

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    • 2mo

      Yeah it what if you give them space and then they hit you up to chill? Mind games?

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