I'm 24 year old uni student and have been seeing this guy (29 yo) for over a month now, met through tinder. We have so much chemistry and we feel like we have known each other for a very long time. He feels like he has met me through a past life and I am convinced that he is my soul mate. We have talked about exclusivity and we both aren't seeing anyone else. He always makes plans to meet up with me, and talk about future plans together. He is also happy to move his plans with his friends just so I could stay over this Saturday. He brought me wine tasting once and he wants me to experience all the things that he likes (e. g. type of movies, restaurant, whiskey).
We have only been on 7-8 dates but we became really physical by the 3rd date. I could feel that he was really into me as I was into him, and the moment felt right. After we had sex again a few dates later we cuddled and I decided to ask him, "What do you like about me?". He couldn't really answer and paused for awhile. Then he said, "I like you but I don't know why exactly... I feel like we get along really well and you are a nice person all around".
I read in a book that says a guy should be able to answer what he likes about you if he is serious in committing into a relationship with you. I see so many great qualities and traits that I like in him and it is important to look beyond physical attraction, sex, and chemistry. So it's like, I feel he is an incredible man and adds great value to my life but what is he doing with me if he can't list one thing he likes about me? Could it be just for sex? He holds my hand in public and we already behave like a couple, just haven't had the "What are we" talk yet. He did say after our second date that I am not a fling but he is not ready to be in a full on relationship with me yet, as he needs to get to know me more.
So, should I be worried or am I thinking too much?
Most Helpful Guy
I've been asked this question before, too, and it really bowls you over. It's like, what does she really want to know here? Is it about her ability to have a conversation? Is it about her appearance? That *she* likes *me*? That we have a lot in common? Her kindness? Her sense of humor? That she shows interest in things I like? All these things can be seen as shallow if you take them individually. He knows that and it might be what makes him reluctant to answer. The real answer is that the whole package is more than the sum of the parts.
So I wouldn't base the entire future of your relationship on one time when you put him on the spot and he was caught off guard. Aren't there occasions where you know something implicitly, and then you struggle to find words if someone asks you about it? He sounds like a decent guy; nothing in your description warns of asshole behavior the way so many women's questions here do. He continues to see you after having sex, defers seeing his friends for you, and wants to show you what he's passionate about. He clearly likes you for you!
If it's really important to you that he passes this "test", give him time to think about it. Maybe let him put it in writing. But pushing too hard on this point could be a turn off, too.0